(Closed) happy to marry at a young age! not missing out!

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 62
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, I did party it up when I was 18-21 (I lived in a city that didn’t care so much about drinking ages), and slept around more than I’d like to admit. I don’t think I’m a better person because of it, or know any more about myself, except that STD testing is scary, and I have an intolerance for tequila and Jager.

I wish I’d known DH then. For me, being ready for marriage had nothing to do with my age, or how many shots I took or guys I dated or cities I visited, but had everything to do with finding him. We were 21 and 27 when we met, and 25 and 31 when we got married. 

 

 

Post # 63
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@Annabelle86:

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@Mrs Grape:

Completely agree. I’m 20 I love that I’ve found someone I want to spend my life with early on, so I can spend even more of it with him. We’re both still working and finishing school, and we won’t be having kids for several years. Our goals haven’t changed at all, we just combined them. I know not everyone finds someone they want to marry and not everyone is ready to be married in their early 20s, but it’s annoying to constantly be told how we’re too young. Oddly enough, only one person IRL has said that to Fiance and I. It’s usually people online that give me a hard time (not everyone, of course, only a few). The people who actually know us support us and that means the world to me 🙂

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@pandaboo: I completely understood what you meant. I love the idea of growing in my 20s with Fiance right next to me 🙂

Post # 64
Member
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s sucks that some negativity had to seep into this post :/ But, it always happens. Everyone thinks they’re doing it the “right” way, when in fact, everyone is doing it the “right” way for them. It annoys me and I agree w KatyElle. Being married before 30 and before my career is completely on the right track is in fact not the wrong thing for me. Why should/would it be? He supports my career track (I will be in Grad School still for the first year or so of our marriage) but he’s also been there for ALL of my Undergrad. It’s OUR natural progression, though not everyone’s.

OP, I’m glad you found love young. Some of us do and some of us don’t. I didn’t read your post as judgmental, but probably because I have some friends in the same positions – the ones who are “waiting” or the ones that are dating the wrong guys over and over. To each their own and all that, but I read it as you simply hoping they found their man. We all read tones differently, it is the internet after all. 🙂

Post # 65
Member
11375 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@JennBug89: Aw, isn’t it though? 🙂

 

Post # 66
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

well im 23… i dont think your too youung… i always have known tha i wanted to start my family aaround 25 or 26… so getting married young was right for me…  congrads on the engagement and i good luck with everything!

Post # 67
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

There isn’t a set formula for life that ensures happiness and fulfullment. 

Each person and situation is different, plain and simple.

Post # 68
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Congrats on your engagement. Those people who asked you ..Maybe they don’t feel you’ve experienced life yet to make a decision so big, or don’t see you as being ready. People will always have their opinions.

Also being single in your 20’s is normal. There’s nothing wrong with it. You just happen to be a very young bride. As long as your happy, who cares.

 

 

 

 

Post # 69
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m just 24 and FH is 31 – I’m happy to be marrying this young. I’ve been met with a lot of but why’s etc but I just tell people who say I’m missing out that I’m not missing anything I just have someone to come along on the ride with me. We have different dreams and wants but we’ll do it all together

Post # 70
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s great you’re so confident in your relationship. The thing you have to realize is you have no idea how you will both change as you age. Doing it alone can be tough, but doing it with someone else who is going thorugh the same thing can make it even harder. That’s why you hear about people “growing apart”. I know I always thought I wanted to get married in my early 20’s. But looking back there is no way I would want that for a future daughter. I’m so different than who I was 10 years ago. I wanted completely different things. And I’ve seen this is all my friends. So when people make those comments, they’re not judging you, they might be looking back at their own lives and remembering everythign they went through during that time.

I an honestly say that I changed a ton in my 20’s and now that I’m in my 30’s I am who I am and the change is a lot less dramatic than it was in my 20’s.

So again, congratulations, just make sure that you both support each other as you grow and change. 🙂

Post # 71
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Listen, if you wait until society is totally accepting of you getting married then you will be at a point where they will start hounding/judging you about family plans right away. It’s a lose-lose situation if you care what other people think.

Personally, even though I was pretty lonely being single in my early 20’s, I am thankful for the path I followed. I married DH at 28 after graduating college, climbing up the ladder in my career and learning to appreciate a person so wonderful as him through years of being single and dating jerks. But I honestly wish we had gotten together younger, there are so many advantages to being married early. Now it’s like we have to rush and start TTC instead of taking a few years to enjoy our married life. But I’d rather have gotten together wtih him later than not at all, I am so thankful and feel so fortunate to have met my soul mate.

Post # 72
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

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@MrsConnick: THIS

 

Congrats on your engagement!

I just have to say that I hope you take a calming breath and take a step back when people in your life make comments about you being young. The fast is – you ARE young. And I’m so happy for you that you have met the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with – but I think the people in your life who are making those ‘young’ comments to you are just concerned and want to make sure you are as happy as you deserve in your life.

We all know stories of people in our own lives that got engaged young and just grew apart because the person you are at 21 is not who you will be at 25, or 30 and so on. I have friends who have grown together in perfect harmony – and I have had friends who never made it to the alter. It is based completely on the individuals and not soley on the age.

Just realize that the people who are asking you if you are sure that you want to do this –  they are asking because you are loved, cared about, and that those people genuinly care that you have a happy and secure future. I hope you feel blessed that so many people want the best for you in life. 🙂

Post # 73
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think if someone is at the point in the relationship where they want to get married, you should just say “Congrats” not “But you’re so young, you might grow apart.” Come on, is that really supposed to be helpful? Unless the relationship is abusive or you’re Courtney Whatsherface 16 year old marrying a 50something, just say “Congrats” and wish them well. It’s not that difficult.

Post # 74
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@KatyElle: Again, I totally agree. Why is it okay to say things like, “But you’re so young, you could grow apart!” when it’s 100% not cool to say, for example, “But you’re so old! One of you could die!”

I think there needs to be mutual respect and tolerance, not one group trying to “preach” to the other group. Just say “congratulations” and move on–no further comment is required.

Post # 75
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@Mrs Grape: Seriously. There would be issues if someone said “You’re getting married? But you’re 35 and you want kids, why did you wait so long?”

It’s a two way street.

Post # 76
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Of course people can marry at a young age and we happy! My Future In-Laws married at 19 and 20 yrs. of age and just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary and they are STILL in love!

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