Post # 1
Well, Bees, here we go again with a little more torture for me. BF’s younger brother is recently engaged, AND in the Air Force, stationed in AZ. He’s got a leave scheduled for next month, and is going home during that time. Boyfriend or Best Friend and bro haven’t seen each other in about 2 years (we live in GA, their fam lives in AL) so we’re planning to go visit while he’s home on leave.
Anywhoooo, bro’s fiancee and I are Facebook friends, and gab all.the.time. While I’ll be happy for them, I’m sure there will be wedding talk while we’re there, and I’ll feel all awkwardly sad and happy at the same time. Away from my home base, so to speak, I’ll be very slim on resources to distract myself from it all, if it comes to that.
So, let’s hear it, hive. Whatchya got for me this time?
Post # 3
Enjoy the fact you all get to be in the same place at the same time. I would focus on that the most because I imagine those opportunities are few and far between. Yes I would also be happy for them, but to tell you the truth, you’ll probably get “so when are you guys getting engaged” – be prepared with a comment that is a gentle loving nudge, not a “ugh I’m just waiting on him”. Then on the trip home, use that as a jumping off point. “You know, it makes me uncomfortable when people ask that, because while I think we’re on the same page, you and I never really have a solid unified answer, and it would make me feel better if we could sort that out”…
Maybe this won’t work for you, but it’s at least something to think about!
Post # 4
@PopRox:Oh, you’re absolutely right about enjoying our time togther, I guess I did sound a little self-absorbed, huh? I love his family, they love me, and honestly, I think I’m looking forward to the trip a little more than Boyfriend or Best Friend is, ’cause I come from a small fam, and his is big and extended w/ step-sibs and everything, so I love all the craziness that comes with that. Weird, I know.
As far as answering “the questions”, lately I’ve been leaning towards playful but serious things like “well, I can’t propose to myself, haha” and “hopefully before we’re 40 (he’s 33, I’ll be 30 in Nov)
And, that’s actually a really good idea about bringing it up on the drive home. (he’s trapped, ha!) Up to this point, I feel like we’re on the same page, but I’m several paragraphs ahead of him, lol, so it would be good for me to try and get a timeline out of him if possible.
Post # 5
I think @PopRox: has good ideas. Also, this might be an opportunity to get even more wedding ideas. You can help your Future SIL plan and also be taking notes of your own. I think weddings are so happy and fun, so just focus on that aspect instead of “I want to be doing this, too!” At least during the weekend you’ll be so busy you won’t have time to think about it. Then like Poprox said, you can corner your guy on the car ride home.
Post # 6
At leats it’s your SO’s future SIL and not your sister. I see it, when siblings or best friends get engaged around the same time there is a competition and its usually with the females. I hope you won’t feel like you have to compete with her and can just enjoy your engagement time when it does it happen for you.
Post # 7
@7mom:Oh, definitely no competition from me. I’m happy for them, really I am, and I can’t wait to talk wedding stuff w/ her. I’m just anxious b/c I know there will be “when are y’all gonna take the plunge” questions and stuff like that. And I’ve been doing so good w/ sticking to Mr. Bee’s backup plan, not bringing it up and all, so I’m a little worried about how I’m gonna keep my mouth shut w/o exploding into “WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?!”, lol 🙂 I’m thinking that packing a good book or two for our trip would prob be a good idea.
Post # 8
@Wonderwoman217: You’re doing the right thing by venting here and getting it all worked out in your head, so when/if it comes up you can keep it light and not EXPLODE! I think packing a few books is totally a great idea. I journal compulsively, you can get a journal and each morning write down all the “waiting uglies”, the thoughts that are floating around your head. Get them out of your head and on paper and maybe it will help you face the day.
You can always just say “I don’t know”. I think it’s not what you say but how you say it: i.e. keep your composure, keep your answer short and simple, and then change the subject. I’m sure she’ll be happy to go back to gabbing about her wedding plans 🙂