(Closed) Hard For Me To Say No… (long vent)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

I have this issue with DH’s family. We are all spread out and my house seems be central for everyone to get together.

But really, you just need to say no. They will keep asking if you keep letting them say, so you  have to put your foot down eventually. Explain that during the week doesnt work because of your work/school schedule and weekends need to be planned in advance.

Post # 6
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@sbottiani:  Send out a friendly family and friends email or Facebook message letting everyone know that while you are glad to let them crash for short visits to Disneyland, you have to set up some ground rules to make sure you don’t turn into a revolving door or hotel.

1. Nobody can stay more than 3 days in a row.  Old fish rule, look it up.

2. Nobody can stay during the week due to your job commitments.

3. (This is really a secret rule.) When people are coming to crash, empty out your fridge and cabinets or at least have it to the bare minimums to discourage them from eating your food.

4. You need X days or X weeks notice of a request to make sure it doesn’t conflict with your schedule.  (I am sure you have a life and make plans that may conflict with theirs.)

5. Personally, we don’t allow more than one crash per month and this is for our own sanity and so we can have private time without guests.

*Most importantly, if anybody complains about the rules or breaks them, you have to put your foot down and let them know that if they can’t follow the rules they will be referred to a hotel for their next stay.

We live in Orlando so we have the same issue with Disney and Universal.  I say no way more than I say yes so that drastically reduced the number of people asking to crash.

Post # 7
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’d work with Darling Husband to lay out some rules – for instance, you need X warning (where X is measured in weeks or months) and people only visit for one weekend per month, depending on what you two can handle. Just because you live somewhere that people like to go doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get to have time to yourselves. Then tell people those rules politely but firmly and insist on people adhering to them. If they don’t want to listen, they can pay for a hotel, because they had fair warning.

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