- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
I don’t know if I want to get into all the nasty details because I KNOW it is very hard for others to understand who haven’t been there..
I’ve posted about this somewhat on other forums here. Basically, my older brother (9 years my senior) has been in prison for the past 7 years and was just paroled in March.
He has a host of issues, number one alcoholism and bi-polar, depression, and not sure what else, there is probably more. When he gets into a downward spiral, and feels hopeless, he drinks.. and when he drinks, if he can, he will drive. I know it’s awful and I expect no sympathy FOR him, but just explaining. So that’s what he was in prison for before, for more than one DUI, and before that something related to drugs/drinking idiocy, and there was other crap when he was young and stupid with friends, but it was all related to his illnesses in some way.
Anyway, all of that aside, he is my big brother and I love him more than I can express. I know I just painted a very unflattering picture but as I have mentioned here before he is also brilliant, loving, funny, kind, artistic, and so many other things.
My Fiance and I were so happy he would be able to come to the wedding, and because he was like a father to me, to walk me down the aisle. Now, just a few months after the end of a 7 year prison sentence, he is in jail again and this looks very bad. I think he is really “institutionalized” and just can’t function in normal society but this is a thing that is more subconcious with him.
There’s no way he will be at the wedding and it’s not a matter of just “waiting” until he is out because there is no telling what will happen now, legally.
I am just so sad. And angry.
My mother (who is a big part of pretty much every major family problem including this one) is absolutely LOSING it and blaming everyone and anyone and lashing out left and right and I am sooooooo tired of dealing with her. I was trying very hard to be compassionate but she takes this tragedy and uses it as an excuse to just say hateful things to everyone and I cannot let her be abusive to me, no matter how heartbroken she is! She did nothing to support him when he got out.. and by that I mean emotionally. She has been HORRIBLE to him and that woman could make a nun drink and swear, she knows how to PUSH push push and my brother has so much guilt from his past that he just lets her do it, and then he reaches his breaking point.
Anyway I feel like I am repeating other posts here. Mainly I just needed to talk about how sad it is, for whatever reason, when someone very important cannot attend the wedding… and I know you bees can understand that even if you can’t understand the whole prison/jail/drinking backstory. We’ve always been extraordinarly close and it just sucks.