Hard Time of Year for Life Changes, Feeling Down.

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Alimony is not about maintaining a lifestyle a partner has previously enjoyed. It is usually awarded to compensate and rehabilitate (help to get the skills needed to be employable) a partner who has sacrificed his or her career to care for children or otherwise support the career of the other partner. Did you two make a decision that he would stay home to take care of household duties so that you could excel at your career? If not, it is unlikely that he will get anything just because he chose not to work.

I’m also here to tell you that you are a young woman at 28. I was a young woman also when I divoced at 37 and never doubted that I would meet and marry someone else (I met him when I was 38 and we married last year). And it’s not all about age. I have several friends who met and married in their 40’s and 50’s. My mom’s coworker remarried in her 70’s after being widowed and they live a fabulous life in NYC, going to theater, opera, and fancy dinners. All that to say, don’t ever make decisions based on the (completely false, irrational) fear that you won’t find someone else. It’s pretty impossible that you wouldn’t.

Post # 32
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

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sparklebee19 :  You are so young.. im your age and half my friends are single.. like you are so so so young please take a breath and realize that you have PLENTY of time

I see you guys started dating as teens, sadly with those young highschool romances most of the time you grow up apart not together sounds like you grew up into a responsible adult while he stayed in grade 12.. do not have a baby with this man it will make things 100 times worse and it is 100% unfair to this child your friend that told you that is an idiot and you can stop listening to her advice from this day on.

Dont waste more time in therapy.. its not going to fix anything he couldnt even handle the household for 2 days while you are sick. pathetic

Leave him and move on I promise you will and you will find someone perfect for you

Also where he lives is not your issue any longer dont let him pull you back in with that crap

Post # 33
Member
5490 posts
Bee Keeper

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sassy411 :   I’m glad to hear this from someone who actually knows the law! (I’m not a lawyer, nor do I play one on tv)

Post # 34
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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sparklebee19 :  dump NOW. He actually asked you to pay him ALIMONY??! Based on all you’ve said about him,  he  is a lazy, unmotivated, video game playing loser…. Don’t hesitate,  dump!

Post # 35
Member
10989 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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mimivac :  

Yes, and the length of the marriage is a controlling factor.  Anything less than 10 years, in some states it’s 15, does not merit actual alimony.  A possible temporary monthly payment, as you said, to get the lower earning spouse back on their feet is *possible*, but, never guaranteed.

Or one equalization payment.

This imbecile seems to think a short term marriage means OP will have to support him for life.  If they’re in the US, not a chance.

Post # 36
Member
10989 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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sunburn :  

Thank you.  This dope watches way too much non reality TV.

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