(Closed) Hard waiting day….

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I know how you feel. It took seven years for my fiance to finally propose. In the year leading up to the engagement, I found myself becoming resentful of him. I felt frustrated that he wasn’t ready and didn’t understand what the issue was, since by that time we’d been living together for over two years. He ended up feeling really sad and like I didn’t want to be with him anymore because I was often irationally annoyed with him, and I felt like i couldn’t tell him the real issue. 

You say that you’ve been having some difficult times in your relationship. If I were you, I’d focus on growing and maturing in your relationship so that, when you do get engaged, you can feel confident that you’re making the right choice and that you’re ready for it. Understandably, my fiance had a lot of conflicting thoughts about wanting to propose when I was being a grumpy pain in the ass. Once I realised that, I changed my attitude a lot and I was able to enjoy our relationship for what it was at that moment. 

If you’re reaching the ultimatum point, then I guess that’s something you need to reflect on. However, if you’re generally feeling happy in the relationship but keen to move to the next step, then just try to enjoy what you have now. I pushed quite hard for my fiance and I to move in together and, although it’s worked out fine in the end, he felt like he’d been denied an extra year of living on his own and enjoying independence. That was a major source of disagreement and it came up in a lot of arguments. In retrospect, I wish it had developed more organically so I could say that we were both happy with the progression of our relationship. 

I hope you start feeling better soon. If it helps put things in perspective, my fiance has been working abroad for the past eleven weeks so I’d be happy just to have him here next to me, regardless of the ring. 

Post # 4
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

At least yours is making the effort, i can’t even talk about engagements as it’s “pressuring him” …..ugh, if i was pressuring him, i’d drag  him to every jewellery store from here to banff and back, or buy every bride magazine out there & leave them in the condo. I’ve deleted my ring ideas and such off the PC it’s bringing me down. I’m so done with weddings and engagements, honestly. Might take a break from here and just work, work work, make my money and save

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