(Closed) hard waiting days.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@KoalaWalla:  I feel like you’ve got your ducks in a row more so than a lot of people I know. Good for you guys getting your finances in order too! The more open communication you have, especially about money, the better off you will be.

Now that you’re both on the same page with that, it’s time to turn to your relationship – the emotional and difficult part of things. You will have disagreements, you will fight. It’s not how often you fight that’s important, it’s how you solve these disagreements! In my opinion, it’s kind of odd that he’s using the fights to say that you guys can’t possible be ready for marriage yet. No marriage is easy; it takes a lot of work and even the happiest couple will get into fights. 

Do you fight over the same things over and over? Do things actually get solved? Are the fights over petty issues or more about big things? He may have a point if you guys aren’t fighting constructively. If that’s the case, you guys need to find a way to learn how to fight in a way that things get solved. Sometimes that takes some counseling, other times it just takes the two of you really working through your problems. 

However, I would still go ahead with the talk in June. You have been patient and I think it’s good to stick with what you decided. I also feel like your decision not to give an ultimatum is a really good thing. You seem very level headed and I don’t see a reason that you couldn’t work through this with your SO. It’s important to explain your feelings to him – he’s not a mind reader so you’ve got to be blunt. But you also can’t let him make excuses for why you shouldn’t get married. Maybe by having this talk in June you will be able to gain some insight into why he doesn’t feel you guys are ready. 

Hope this helps! And keep your chin up – June is almost here!

Post # 4
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, it just sounds like he doesn’t want to get married. I think you need to figure out what you are going to do if another year or two passes and he still has excuses as to why he wants to wait. You have been doing such a good job, this should not be his reaction to your progress as a couple.

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