Hardest and best parts of parenting?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I have an almost 8-month old, and I will be 39 next month, so I think I also qualify as an older parent and I do think age makes it a bit more difficult.  Not just because of energy level/sleep deprivation, but also just generally because of having had so many years to get used to routines.  I don’t think I would describe myself as a selfish person before having a child, but it sure was nice to get to sleep in, go for long runs on Saturday morning, cook dinner whenever I wanted, take bubble baths, etc.  Not that I wouldnt’ have missed those things when I was younger, but they wouldnt’ have been as engrained in my identity, if that makes sense.  But really THE hardest thing for me about being a parent is how it has changed my relationship with my husband.  He’s an amazing and very involved father, but our relationship with and to each other feels like it has suffered as we just aren’t (can’t be) the priority to each other that we once were.  I do think it will change in time, but that’s the toughest part right now.

The best part is seeing concrete real evidence that our baby is growing and thriving!  Watching him achieve milestones like sitting up, reaching for toys, and just laughing at silly things we do is a joy every day.  

Post # 3
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Prettysmile40 :  my baby is 3 months (and I’m 27 so average for a FTM I think) and the sleep deprivation is the hardest. I do think mine is an exceptionally poor sleeper though. Also just never having me time (he’s EBF). I’m an introvert so not having my alone time is HARD. 

But his smile is oh so sweet. I hear it gets better/more fun soon, so. 

Post # 4
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

My LOs are 2 and 6 weeks.

There are challenges at every age and stage. At the minute it’s lack of sleep with littlest one. Hes also very unsettled and cant be put down for longer than 5 minutes without crying so much he turns purple.

With the 2 year old it’s occasionally dealing with a stubborn, willful, trantrumming child. Thankfully my oldest is a beaut most of the time. She’s a conversationalist and I love chatting to her. She’s funny and smart and crafty and loves reading. It’s great most of the time. She also sleeps through which is a blessing.

It’s hard.

Whatever age you are, it’s a job and it’s bloody hard. You’ll cope because you have to and you will enjoy 90% of it!

Post # 5
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My daughter is 11 months old and I think this phase, from 10ish months to now…has been the hardest. 

She’s been a good sleeper and predictable for most of her life thus far but in the last couple months I can’t get consistency and let me say, that I think is worse than sleep deprivation. My body has no rythmn and we can’t get on the same page multiple nights in a row so I just don’t sleep much ever it seems. 

The best is basically everything else. I have enjoyed her sleepy newborn days, her more alert days, coming into her own and learning things around her, gaining some independence. Giggles, smiles, crawling, love all of it. 

Post # 6
Member
2520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My daughter is 22 months old and it was very difficult to begin with as she’s gotten older the easier she has become. 

 

Hardest thing – that I was/am her whole world. As she gets older she relies on me less and less but when she was a baby and hated to be with anyone else (including my husband) it was very tough and I could never truly relax even when apart from her. 

 

Best thing – the fact that I’m her whole world! I love the bond and connection we have together and the more I see her grow and learn each day the more I want to spend time with her. 

Post # 7
Member
2024 posts
Buzzing bee

My stepkid is elementary age now, but I’ve been around since the baby years. Hardest part has been having infinite amounts of patience as your house gets destroyed by the toys, the goo (I am not even sure what it is exactly), the f^&%ing cartoons on 24/7, the whining at all important junctions of the day (bath, bed, nap and dinner time), the struggle of teaching life lessons, getting asked “why” a million times before breakfast, getting woken up at 5:45 on a Saturday morning. Basically the age from 2-4 was total crap.

I’m just being dramatic, of course. As a PP said, I think every stage is hard in its own way. The payoff for me is watching a personality form and opinions form, or watching them go out into the world (aka the playground, school or a new sports team) and make friends, and say “thank you” to strangers and all this hard work starts to pay off because you see that you’re raising a decent human being. They really come up with some funny stuff once they start gaining a vocabulary, and when they are old enough to do some things independently without your help.

Post # 8
Member
889 posts
Busy bee

For me the hardest part of being a parent has been the realisation that I am an extremely impatient person and not liking that about myself. I think sometimes I expect too much from my kids and then I feel extremely guilty about it. It is also hard not being able to have the freedom to do what you want when you want. Even when we have time for the 2 of us or alone time, a part of me is always thinking about them and worrying, not in an obsessive way but just never really feeling like I can fully enjoy the moment. I really wish I had enjoyed my freeodm more when I was younger, I dont think I would have ever seen being single a s a bad thing I could do things over!!! Oh and I hate it so much when I am sick because I can’t just lie in bed and watch tv like I used to, and if we are all sick at the same time, that is the worst!!

The best parts have been seeing my kids (I have 3) interact with eachother and become great little friends. Our 4th is due in decemeber and the oldest 2 are so excited (our youngest will get a rude shock I think!) and it makes me happy that we have been able to create the family we both always wished we had growing up. I also love the moments where they interact with other people and they are so polite and sweet and caring and I think wow, I played some part in creating that. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
9152 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i was 34 when i had my first and will be 36 when i have the second.  the hardest part was breast feeding. but we had a lot of issues including my breast reduction, DS being a premie and having tongue and lip ties not discovered until 8 weeks. 

the best part was everything else, the no sleep didn’t bother me, it was such a short time anyway.  DS is our IVF miracle and #2 is an FET.  so we are thankful to have our DS and this pregnancy.  i love every second of it, all the good and bad parts.

Post # 10
Member
5820 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

The hardest part for me has been the constant worrying. I am always finding something new to worry about and I had mild Post Partum Anxiety.

The best part is I have never smiled or laughed so much in my life. My world is more beautiful and scarier and funnier with him in it. I am obsessed.

Post # 12
Member
2813 posts
Sugar bee

Prettysmile40 :  

We have twins, so a whole different ball game than a singleton. The hardest parts is being more irritable and frustrated because of less sleep and exhaustion. Also, the constant guilty feelings, – is one getting more attention, why do I have more patience towards one vs. the other (they do change, so it is not the same one…ha), will they grow up lacking one on one bonding time, etc. But moms have guilty feelings with 1 just as much. That part is very hard.

 Also, the girls are in the age now (5 months) where they are not mobile yet, and can’t play by themselves much and need to be constantly entertained. But with 2, that is hard – always a juggling act of “hold 1 baby, put her down, hold the other, the one who got put down is now screaming”, and back and forth all the time. Me and husband get more irritated with one another, have less time together, and it is all about the babies now. But again, with 2, we need both of us helping out (we both work, so evenings and weekends, but I feel like working full time at an office job is much easier than being home by myself with 2), so we can’t give one another much breaks, as it is hard to handle 2 by yourself for long, so we are stuck being home together, and all day revolves around making babies happy ( I am hoping as they get mobile it gets better, as now they literally need to either be carried all the time or entertained by making faces at them, singing, etc, and can’t be left in a swing, bouncer, mat, etc for long by themselves at all).

 The best part is when they smile at you, the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when one is crying and you are able to soothe her, holding them and showing them little things that they get so excited and curious about, being able to cuddle with them separately when sister naps, looking through pictures of them on the phone when at work, and feeling awwww they are my babies. The best part so far was smiling milestone….when baby started smiling it was the best thing so far. When they were newborn, baby falling asleep on my chest was also amazing (don’t do that anymore)

 But I think with 1 baby, you have nothing to worry about….we joke that with 1, it would almost feel like not having a baby at all, one person can easily handle it by themselves, can just carry baby around all day, hold them, cuddle them (if that is what makes them happy), it is sooo much easier logistically to get out of the house, etc. If we ever have a third and a singleton, it would be a piece of cake. Some weekends we “split” the babies – I am spending time with one (take her grocery shopping, visit a friend, bond at home, etc) and my husband is spending time with her sister (we switch, so get equal one on one bonding time), and it feels like a relaxing vacation to have only 1 baby to take care of. Ha. It is super easy with 1.

Post # 13
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hardest part – That they keep changing.  What worked last week, last month, last year, doesn’t work anymore.  That they get older and more aware.  We can’t talk freely to eachother when he is around because he understands/repeats everything.    

Best part – They grow up and become so smart and funny.  My son is three and he is just the best.  I think everything he does is so funny.  He interacts with us so much.  He is really snuggly too which is nice 🙂

Post # 14
Member
6877 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Prettysmile40 :   I am 43 and have a 5 year old.  He is my world.  The hardest part is when he gets sick (which he is right now) I can’t take away his pain/sickness.  The best part is everything else really. He can be trying but that is okay.  What makes my heart melt is when he goes “mommy I love you” out of the blue

Post # 15
Member
383 posts
Helper bee

fromatoz :  I HATED the baby stage until they were 4…uggh

But when they start to develop their own opinions and can actually have a conversation, so much beauty (5/6 years old and up).

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