Harrassed by stepdad

posted 1 month ago in Canada
Post # 16
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

darkworld :  No it won’t matter that it was 4 months ago, the police will understand. Please go. Your mother is condoding your step fathers behavior if she doesn’t do anthing about this. She knows and is not keeping you safe. You shouldn’t have to put a lock on your door, you did nothing wrong. Your step father is a predetor and rapist. You should not have to live in fear. Please please just go to the police and stay with your gramma. Get out of that house. 

Post # 17
Member
6614 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

darkworld :  Your mother is letting an abuser have control of you.  Do you really want a relationship with her that bad if she’s writing your near-rape off?  Go to the police.  She’ll come back to you when she realizes what a piece of crap her partner is.  Please, please go to the police.  You are not safe.  Their control will only make a bad situation more likely.

Post # 18
Member
2518 posts
Sugar bee

Please go to to the police. And please do not stay in the house again, especially alone with your stepdad. Stay with your boyfriend or a friend if need be. Anyone else. I would not go back to that house. 

Post # 19
Member
6783 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Until you can get out of there you should never be alone in the house with that man again. Are you old enough to travel to your grandmother by yourself, and will she send you a ticket or money for transportation? 

I hope you will report this to the police–if he’s done this to you he’s likely done it to others. Your grandmother can speak to them as well. If your mother is angry with you for reporting an assault that’s her issue, not yours. Her first duty is supposed to be to keep you safe, not to protect him. 

Post # 21
Member
551 posts
Busy bee

Where are you in Canada? Depending on what province you’re in, you can report through a third party with the help of an assault crisis center. They can also provide you with valuable resources to help you navigate this emotionally. I know it’s kind of a catch 22, but the fact that you’re so afraid of the consequences of reporting this further confirms that you need to reach out. You need to make sure you’re safe and one of the best ways to do that is to inform the police or a crisis councelor so that they can advise you on what to do to protect yourself. 

It is unforgivable that this happened to you, I’m so sorry. Take good care!

Post # 22
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Definitely call the police and tell them. If you’re in school, tell the counselors at your school. 

Post # 24
Member
6235 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

darkworld :  OP- this is enraging and I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. Please know- your mother is WRONG. She is willing to sacrifice her child to keep a man in her house and in her bed. That is WRONG and fucked up and pathetic. Both your mother and step father are terrible. 

You need to figure out a way to get away from them, but until you can, please protect yourself. And when your mother tries to guilt trip you (“we’re fighting because of you”) let her know that she wouldn’t have to be fighting with him if she had done her job as a mother and addressed it when you told her that her husband tried to sexually assault you.

Post # 25
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Please let someone know about what you are going through. If you’re under 18 and you tell a teacher or counselor or a nurse, they have to report it to authorities. Maybe that will make it easier for you if you are not the one to report it. Even if you are 18 or older, you can talk to a health care worker about what is happening to you. They can help you navigate your feelings and help you deal with what you’ve been through. 

What you’ve been through is very traumatic and it is not safe for you to stay in the house with your step-dad. Don’t fall for your mom’s manipulations. This is not your fault. Please get help so that you can get to safety. Once you get to safety, counseling would be very helpful. You have been traumatized by your step-dad for the attempted sexual assault. You are being re-traumatized by your mom because she is supporting your step-dad over you and blaming you for being a victim. 

 

Post # 26
Member
551 posts
Busy bee

If you are older than what is considered minor age (18-19 depending on your location), you are legally independent from your parents or any other adult guardian. There is nothing your parents can do to prevent you from leaving home and they do not even have the right to gather information regarding your whereabouts from the authorities if and when you do leave. In other words, you are free to leave that house with your boyfriend and never go back. If they (your abusers) try to stop you, they are breaking the law by holding you against your will, and you should call the police. 

If you are under the age of eighteen, I urge you to do as PPs have advised and seek the help of an adult who is law-bound to report abuse (a doctor, nurse, teacher or social worker). 

PLEASE reach out to someone about this outside of the internet. Your mother and step-father are trying to manipulate you into blaming yourself so that they don’t have to take responsibility for their behavior. This is repulsive. They are in the wrong here, not you. You deserve all the help and support you can muster. There are laws and services in place to assist people in exactly your position—unfortunately it isn’t uncommon, but it is never acceptable. PLEASE. GET. HELP.

Post # 27
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

Please get help NOW! Call the police, someone will take care of you. Or research women shelters. Bee, there are many people who can help you, but you need to act and fast before something bad happens. Just call 911 and say that your stepfather tried to rape you and your mother is blaming you and they are both threatening you. You’ll get help right away. 

Post # 28
Hostess
8747 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

darkworld :  I am sorry to be so blunt but your Mom and Step-Dad are both pieces of shit. You need to go to the police. This isn’t going to end well if you don’t get some help from someone. 

Post # 29
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

Go tell the school cousellor everything that is going on. They will advocate for you so that you are not alone, and support  you and help with the authorities and other resources for you. Be strong, strong enough to get out. 

Post # 30
Member
6783 posts
Busy Beekeeper

darkworld :  Tell your teachers and counselor at school why you skipped class–that you were assaulted by your stepfather and have been struggling. 

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