Harrassed by stepdad

posted 4 months ago in Canada
Post # 31
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - City, State

Every day you wait to tell someone- the more danger you are in. As soon as you tell someone, you should start to be protected by other adults. It’s definitely scary, but your only choice is to tell someone- immediately. This is a lot more serious than I think you realize. 

Post # 32
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Tell a school counsellor or teacher right away. They will be able to help you and other adults will be able to protect you.

If it is too hard to talk to someone at school, please contact Kids Help Phone ASAP. You can call, text, or live chat. You will be connected to a counsellor who can help you take the steps you need to stay safe.


Post # 33
11141 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

darkworld :  

Oh, Bee, honey.  This must be so scary for you.  I wish we could all be there to go with you to make the police report.

Is there a counselor at school you can talk to?

If you go to the police, they should know about resources available to you, like a place to stay.  You totally have to get out of that house, sweetie.

And, I’m afraid that you do have to report your stepfather.  What if he is doing the same things to other girls?

Your mother is terrible, Bee.  Unfortunately, there are women so screwed up that they will choose an abuser over their own children. She’s had some brainwashing.

Reach out, honey.  Report this awful creeper. Help keep him away from other girls.

You have done nothing wrong here, Bee.  None of this is your fault.

Please keep posting and keep us updated.



Post # 35
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Oh bee, sending you a huuuge hug! You did a very brave thing!!! I am so sorry your family is not supporting you, but you DID NOT make it into a bigger thing than it was, it was a very very serious thing. It is not your fault. What is happening now is also not your fault. 
I know you feel sad and scared to leace your mom with him but unfortunately YOU CANNOT save her even though I know you want to. You did the right thing. 
You have a wonderful future ahead of you – finish your education, see your counselor to help you deal with this, and know that you did an extremely brave thing to save yourself from a monster! So proud of you bee!!!!

Post # 36
846 posts
Busy bee

darkworld :  None of this is your fault. You did the right thing! It is unfortunate that your mom and your aunt could not put your best interest first. Your mom was not protecting you. It was her choice to stay with your abuser. You did the right thing. I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing. Things will get better. Do not give up on yourself.

Post # 37
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

darkworld :  honey, you are NOT selfish, you are PROTECTING yourself from an unsafe and abusive situation. You did the RIGHT THING. I’m so sorry that your mother is protecting him – this is fairly common in abusive households. You’re not alone, and many young women have gone through this too. The first and only thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation. Do not go back to that house, no matter what your mom says. She might make you feel guilty for leaving, but you will be in danger there.

Now that you’ve done the right thing by reporting it and leaving the house, please find some support and resources to help you find a place to stay and figure out what to do next. Speak to your counselor or call a local women’s shelter to help you figure out your next step. You have your whole life ahead of you.


Post # 38
1268 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

darkworld :  You 100% did the right thing. You told the truth and anyone who’s mad about that is only concerned with their own position and not thinking about you in the least. Nobody was protecting you from an awul and potentially dangerous situation so you took a positive step yourself. I think that was incredibly brave and you shouldn’t waste another second doubting yourself or even considering feeling like it was selfish.

Hang in there. You’re on the right path!

Post # 39
813 posts
Busy bee

I’m going to be blunt with you: your family is evil. Your mother is an insane and evil person. And your step-dad is absolutely evil.

Sweetie, you did the right thing. You have a whole community here who supports you.

darkworld :  

Post # 40
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

darkworld :  you 100000% did the right thing!


your mother is clearly a poor judge of character, including not being able to recognize how right you are. Please don’t ever forget this. Stay strong and hang in there. Keep doing what you are doing and stay as far away from your stepdad as possible. 

Post # 41
5124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Stay away from your step dad, stay away from your mom and her family. Tell your school counselor that you need therapy and support right now as soon as possible. You can’t do this alone.

Post # 42
11141 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

darkworld :  

Oh, Sweetheart.  You did a very good and very brave thing.  That must have been so hard and so scary for you.

What did the police and the counselor say?  Did they suggest that you stay with your friend for now?

It’s really sad that your mom is blaming you.  Some adults have emotional problems that make them do really stupid things like your mom is doing.  Maybe some day she will get the professional help that she needs.  But, she is *not* your responsibility.  She has to solve her own problems with the assistance of other adults. You absolutely cannot help her.  And it’s totally ok for you to feel mad at her for letting you down in such a terrible way.

Your stepfather belongs in jail.  Did the police say anything about that?

You *should* be thinking about yourself!  You’re the kid, your mom is the parent.  She has it backwards.  This is, unfortunately, not uncommon, sweetie.  A lot of young people have had to experience the same kind of betrayal by the person who should always protect you.

Will you be talking to the counselor again?  That’s probably a good idea.  It will be helpful for you to have someone to talk to.

And we are here for you, honey.

Post # 43
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Start with going to the police and file a formal report.  Unfortunately I am not sure how much they will do about it.  At the very least they will ABSOLUTELY file a complaint to CAS (Children’s aid society).  So after you file a complaint I would immediately call your local children’s aid society.  If you our after hours then ensure to connect to the emergency line.  They will open an investigation.  There is a good chance that CAS will remove you from the home while they launch an investigation against your mother and step father.  It sounds like you are under 18 years old. 

If your step dad is an alcoholic then it is not likely that he will quit drinking.  It is not that easy when you are addicted to something.  And since he did that while he is drunk it is only a matter of time before he does it again.  I am appauled that your mother isn’t doing anything to protect to.  So I am begging you, please do everything you can to protect yourself.

I am so sorry you are going through this

Post # 44
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

darkworld :  I’m so proud of you and I’m so pleased to know you are safe!!!


I’m so glad your counsellor and police stepped in.


You are not being a selfish, but actually even if you were so f*cking what! You need to be selfish to protect yourself! Your mum clearly can’t do the job !!! 

Post # 45
765 posts
Busy bee


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