(Closed) Has Anyone Been Asked WHY They Didn’t Choose a Vendor?

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: How did you deal with a vendor asking you why you didn't chose them?
    Did not respond. : (5 votes)
    10 %
    (Brutally) Honest Response. : (20 votes)
    41 %
    White Lie, but mostly honest.. : (23 votes)
    47 %
    Lie, lie, lie (to be nice, of course)! : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would just say that you found one with a style that fit your own better.  That isn’t rude in my opinion and it’s honest.  I wouldn’t say that the other person’s work was better though.

    Post # 4
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Yes, this has happened to me with almost all vendors I did not choose. They also asked WHO else I chose.  The photog was the worst, because I had to explain like, oh it’s not you, it’s just me and wanting a different “style”. What I was trying not to say is, their pictures are better than yours.  So then he sends me a follow-up email, saying how he wishes I had given him a chance, and thought we could have gotten along really well. Weird? It’s kind of like having to break up with people…

    Post # 5
    2475 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    This hasn’t happened to me before, but I’ve heard it happen to other people.  I would be totally honest with her about your reasons, in the most tactful way possible, because it could really help her out. 

    Post # 6
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would just say you found another photographer whos style fit you better.  I think its perfectly normal to respond honestly.

    Post # 7
    3125 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    while this didn’t happen to me, I can see why a vendor would ask. It’s a question that needs to be asked delicately though. If i were you, I’d answer honestly! But nicely.

    Post # 8
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would respond honestly (but nicely!)  If there was something specific that you were looking for but they didn’t have (and the vendor you chose did have), I would include that as well.  Hopefully that makes sense…

    Post # 9
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I would say be honest, but kind (of course).  The vendor may genuinely want to improve.  So if you wanted, say, a less posed sort of style with more attention to little details or something, telling her that may give her guidance for how to work on diversifying her portfolio and getting more clients.  A little gentle information about where she isn’t meeting the needs of potential clients should be a welcome thing to any vendor! (And if she’s unreasonable and gets annoyed– who cares?  You’re using someone else anyway, and she’s the one who asked!)

    Post # 10
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Ooh, I haven’t gotten that question, but I understand it’s awkward.  At least with photographers, style really is a huge part of it, so you can honestly just say that instead of having to explain something like “their food tasted better than yours and cost $4000 less”.  I’d be as honest as you can without being hurtful, and just emphasize the style difference (candid shots? artsy detail pictures? fisheye panoramas? whatever) rather than the talent, and say that’s what swayed you in the end.

    Post # 12
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’ve totally had that happen with a photographer. I never wanted the guy and wasn’t even considering him. My mom’s former friend is now married to a photographer. I can’t stand the guy. I think he’s disguisting and a sleeze ball and he has even directly told me (before I was engaged) that he hates doing wedding and completely jacks up his prices so he doesn’t have to deal with “bitchy brides”. Fast forward to me getting engaged and he now does weddings (he’s really hurting for cash) and he just automatically assumes that I will be using him and he started e-mailing me. I had to explain that that wasn’t the case and I tried to do so very politely. He didn’t take it well and got really defensive. He started asking me why I wasn’t using him and who I was using instead and how much I was paying them. I responded very tactifully but didn’t include a price because I don’t think that’s any of his business. He continued to e-mail me and badger me and even told me I was foolish for turning down his services.


    My advice to you would be to respond to the first e-mail and be polite answering with whatever you feel comfortable with. After that, I wouldn’t respond to any e-mails or calls. You don’t have an obligation to communicate with these people. You made your decision, they need to move on.

    Post # 13
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    that is kind of odd. i think it’s a perfectly valid question and if you have the time, doesn’t hurt to respond and tell her why. but i agree, after that you don’t have to be in contact with them anymore. you chose someone else for a reason so just say it tactfully and you should be fine. 

    Post # 14
    4123 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Well, as a photographer, it is nice to know why we weren’t booked. Was it a service issue? Quality issue? Price? etc…

    BUT, it is up to you and you shouldn’t be asked WHO you used. 

    I would respond truthfully and just say, “Thanks for all the help. I loved this and this about you, however, in the end, another photographer had a better album selection that we loved more. Thank you for your time.” Like people said, gentle honesty goes a long way and will indeed help other brides in the future. 

    I will say, I don’t ever ask that though 😉

    Post # 15
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I had one caterer ask why I didn’t choose them. The honest answer is that they were the most expensive one and the sample menu they did for us sounded absolutely disgusting: unappetizing choices in unappealing combinations. Also, they have a very mixed reputation locally and we chose a caterer about who we’d heard nothing but positive comments. I told them all this, but in a toned down and subtle way (I hope). I thought they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t really want to know.

    Post # 16
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I was asked by a DJ company and he was completely rude!

    He called to follow-up as I had previously gotten a quote from them. This is how the conversation went down:

    Him: May I ask who you decided to go with and why?

    Me: (A little thrown off but I understood where he was coming from!) Sure! We are going with Vanrock Sound and honestly, we chose them because of cost and we saw them at a fashion show and liked their work.

    Him: What price did you get them for? (in a rudeish tone)

    Me: (really put-off at this point I felt as if I didn’t have to answer this question but seen as we asked if they could do any better to fit in our price range and they said they couldn’t I thought that he should know that he is overpriced in his market) I said that we got full-service DJ and MC for $695 no tax for 7.5 hours. (covers cocktail reception, dinner and dancing all night)

    Him: Oh! I’m sorry we don’t get to work with you (in a condescending tone) – and he hung up without waiting for me to say anything!


    I was so put-off by the whole phone call. I was being very nice and I didn’t have to answer his questions at all. The least he could’ve done was say Have a nice wedding etc. And he was seriously over priced for all of the same services they were $980 plus tax!


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