Has anyone been in this situation before or know somebody who has been?

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

iamconfusedpleasehelp :  After 3 1/2 years together he should know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I don’t think he has any intentions of marrying you and you are just a fill in at the moment. He has all these excuses as to why the relationship can’t progress to the next level. 

I think you need to really think about whether this is the man and relationship for you because it doesn’t sound like its going to end in marriage. He is okay with how things are now and doesn’t see a need to change it or the need for the commitment of marriage. Don’t be scared of starting over. If he is not the one for you give yourself the opportunity to leave the relationship and find the one that is. 

You both have gotten comfortable for different reason in the relationship and both of you may be feeling like this isnt’t the right relationship. Don’t just push for marriage because you’ve been with him for 3 1/2 years and you feel like its the next step. Make sure this is the guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with and not out of convienence.  

Post # 3
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

iamconfusedpleasehelp :  I agree with the above Bee. Also, even though you have seen 2 therapist you need to still work on yourself. Have confidence to be alone and be ok BEFORE you get into a relationship. Just because you were together for 3 1/2 years is not reason enough to be headed towards marriage. See a therapist for at least a year for yourself. Be OK on your own and with yourself before dating anyone else. Don’t look to any relationship for affirmation. 

Post # 4
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

beverly579 :  Yup, this. I don’t think anyone will be able to say it better or give you any advice that isn’t here. 

Post # 5
Member
6833 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

iamconfusedpleasehelp :  “But he’s done nothing to change the things that make me feel like he doesn’t really love me. He shuts me down all the time when I try to talk to him about nearly anything of interest. He ignores me when I try talking to him sometimes. He has never done anything romantic for me to show that he cares about me. I’ve told him for all the years we’ve been together what I want from him in the relationship and he continually fails to deliver.”

…why would you want to marry someone like this? Marriage isn’t going to fix any of these problems. This is who he is. 

Post # 6
Member
10876 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

iamconfusedpleasehelp :  

What makes you want to marry someone who falls so short of your expectations?

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