Post # 16
Great advice from PP re breaking it down into smaller segments of choices.
I would also use a Gantt chart so demonstrate the need to make decisions so far in advance. X variable is dependent upon y variable, and y variable had to be nailed down by z time.
Its visual in a way that helps people who aren’t project oriented see how many balls are in the air and why you need to plan in advance.
Post # 17
keepingitreal8675309 : Your post just literally made me laugh. This is my fiance to a tee. Even simple things where can go for dinner, I make the decision. I’m glad that I’m obviously not alone in this. It’s just so frustrating, but I know what I’m dealing with so…… like people are saying give him like 1 or 2 options and tell him to choose.
Post # 18
keepingitreal8675309 : I actually called and spoke with her while I was on my lunch break. She said she hears this on a daily basis. She gave me the same suggestion everyone else is giving me. Pick a couple dates and let him choose. She also gave me some great suggestions on some venues I had never even heard of, so that conversation went really well.
Post # 19
- Wedding: Chula Vista Golf course
I could’ve written this post! Except we agreed on THIS summer and he is indecisive af. I’m going to take the 3 date approach listed above and see what we can do. Sheesh. Men. 🙄
Post # 20
woahthisjustgotreal2018 : When we were discussing a date yesterday. I kid you not, he said why don’t we just go downtown tomorrow and do it. I told him you cannot do that you still have to pick a date and see if they anything available. You should’ve seen the look on his face, it was hilarious. You have to plan!!!!!!
Post # 21
dionsmom : Yes!!!!! This weekend I’m going to have 3 dates written down and tell him this is what we have to choose from. The end!!! I just hate to be so pushy and I don’t want to seem obnoxious about it, but a decision has to be made.
Post # 22
In my relationship, I am the planner. Darling husband likes to do things spontaneously which isn’t always a good idea! I do all the research and come up with a couple of options. Sometimes I just come up with the best option. I present it to him and he “spontaneously” says “yes” to what I have picked. I ask him for feedback along the way, too.
Last vacation, I looked and looked at places to stay. I did all the research. I sent him a link to one place that I really liked. He said that it looked great and we should book it. He wasn’t interested in seeing anything else because he doesn’t like the “deliberate” about options.
We did this with our wedding, too. I came up with some options. I did the research. I told him about our options. He picked one of them. Done. We had a wedding date and venue, lol.
Post # 23
tiff0519 : If he isn’t naturally ever a decision maker I can see why he hasn’t suddenly had a personality transplant just because you are engaged. I am the planner in our relationship, I always will be and that is fine because it is my strength. He has others. Maybe make peace with the fact you will have to make / present all the key decisions etc.
Post # 24
I highly recommend you put your guest list together before you finalize your venue and date – for size and to clear the date with your VIPs.
Post # 25
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a massive deal. I think maybe sitting down with your Fiance and saying something like:
“I think the timescale you have suggested with the amount of free-time we have available is unrealistic. Weddings need a lot of input in advance, and you don’t have the time to commit to that right now. Why don’t we choose an autumn or winter date, when you can be fully engaged in the process. I would enjoy it if we could both be involved in the planning, and am unwilling to do it all alone.”
He’ll either say A) I hadn’t thought of it like that, I’ll pull my weight to make a summer wedding happen, or B) agree to a later date and you can do it together then. Everybody wins?
Addittional info: I am currently finishing grad school and also planning a wedding. I don’t advise it, it’s really hard to give each the attention it deserves.
Post # 26
MsBeer : Hello, I didn’t expect him to have a personality transplant, but I also didn’t know that when it came to this it would be like pulling teeth. He said he wanted a wedding, but it seems that he is having trouble making decisions as far as dates and things like that. It’s our wedding and I didn’t want to go into it like it was just my wedding so I did ask him and I see the approach that I will have to take with now, and I’m ok with that I don’t have a problem with it. I was just wondering if anyone else dealt with this and how did they go about it.
Post # 27
laura0707 : Hi! I wanted to get married on a Friday summer of 2019, so I picked 3 dates 2 in June and 1 in July. I’m going to ask him which he one he prefers and go from there. Everyone said this process will get stressful and I can see why. I am a planner by nature and it seems overwhelming to me so I know his head is swimming. I will just have to have my sister, mom, daughters and my wedding planners input for a majority of things I see, which is ok with me. I just wanted to try and include, but I don’t think that he cares about all the details like I do. He just knows he wants to get married and have a wedding.