(Closed) Has anyone else’s life shifted course, socially?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yep. I was a former sorority girl at a notorious party school (engineering universities have a lot of parties on weekends, mkay?)….and now I stay home quite a bit. And love every minute of it. I do things like knit, quilt, study, and read books FOR FUN.

Ah, the horror =]

I still like to go out, but i like places like wine bars and martini bars so i can TALK to my friends, not have to shout over the music.

Post # 4
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I get you πŸ™‚ I’m really young (22 next week!) and I’ve never really been in the same place as my friends. I did the whole go out and party thing my freshman year of college and then I was done. I’ve been in long term relationships since I was 16, so my situation is a little different than yours. But I’m perfectly happy being a homebody with the boy!

Honestly, the only disappointing part is being left with very few friends. Even those that are 5 years older or more are still partier types and that just isn’t me. Going out is fun once in a while but its not something I’m looking at doing every weekend anymore. Renting a movie and cooking dinner is my idea of a great Friday night πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I get this feeling as well.  I spent a fair amount of time hanging out with friends prior to this relationship in general – but now that we are engaged, you can hardly pry me away for more than a couple hours in the evening.  I’m enjoying this new stage and frankly – I really don’t miss going out all the time.  We spend a bunch of our time with others couples and I like that just fine πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hi artichokesalad <– cute name, btw.  I think it’s completely normal.  My friends and I are all in grad school and are involved in either engaged/about to be engaged relationships and it just seems natural that life kind of slows down.  The thought of going to the bar till 2:00 and spending $10 per cocktail just doesn’t have the same appeal as sitting around with glasses of wine and good conversation or a good movie.  Not that I NEVER want to go to the bar – but now it only sounds fun every once in awhile, as opposed to every weekend.  Not to mention, poor college kids (welcome to our world btw! That’s very exciting!) have to choose where to spend money carefully lol

I think it’s normal but what matters most is balance and what makes you happy and it seems like you’ve found both Smile

Post # 7
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I feel ya! We are pretty much the 1st couple in our group of friends to get married. We are also way ahead of the game of life compared to most of our friends as well. A lot of our friends still live at home (at age 24 and up), some are in finishing their 6th year as a college undergrad, most have not started paying back their student loans, and so forth. It sucks when you would like to hang out with your friends and they are still “too poor to do anything”. Really? I refuse to go to house parties anymore. I must sleep in my own bed at night. I don’t want friends to come over and get so drunk they have to spend the night on our couch. I don’t think that going out to eat with your friends is “a waste of money”. I just don’t know what do ask them to do anymore!

Post # 8
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

we are more homebodies now too! Our friends still go out and party, but we tend to do stuff at home, and REALLY enjoy it! I think as you get older, you start to grow out of that, and also, when you are in serious relationships, its nice to spend time at home with each other.

Post # 9
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yup, same thing happened to me. I remember my last year of university I was pretty much over going out every weekend, but my roommate and friends were still into it. It was an awkward transition, but people change.

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@artichokesalad, I’m 24 and went to a bar with my friend and some people for my bday (they’re like 23, 26, and 26) and I was told I was being “mean” by some guy, but in reality, i just wasn’t interested in him, lol. It was so loud, i wanted ear plugs, LOL. Me=lame. Me ok with it.

Post # 12
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I love this thread. *tries to hug it* I am also struggling with alienation from my same aged partying friends. I love being “lame” at home with my sweet man and maybe venture out to a bar every other week. We have tried to compromise for our friends by having more get-togethers at our place!

Post # 14
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I lost a LOT of friends when me and my fiance got serious! I was social coodrinator and party queen and once I met my Fiance (whom was the same way) we decided to lay low! We would invite friends over but they would never take us up on the offer! Needless to say we finally just lost touch! None of those “friends” are invited to our wedding! You will realyl learn who your true friends are!

Post # 15
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m going through a transition now as well. Not so much with the partying friends though. My Fiance and I do everything together now, so when we go to hang out with people its mostly our friends who are engaged or married. Which is about 3 couples haha.  I’m 20 and my Fiance is 23. My Fiance friends don’t live around here so he never goes out to hang with the guys. When we first got engaged all my girlfriends would still call just to “hangout” or have girls night and my Fiance wasn’t for it. I have become to realize I’m not either. Most of the people I was hanging out with before Fiance just wanted me around to tell their oh so “Dramatic” lives to and dump their crap on me. They are just too high maintenance for me. I’m only 20 but much more ahead of my peers in life.  It’s hard because I have known some of them forever and would still like to stay friends but we just aren’t on the same page anymore.  πŸ™

Post # 16
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oops, repost.

The topic ‘Has anyone else’s life shifted course, socially?’ is closed to new replies.

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