(Closed) Has anyone ever been a major buzz-kill about your wedding dress?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 4
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My grandmother is the QUEEN of buzz-killing!

Luckily she hasn’t really had anything to do with wedding planning, my biggest buzz-kill to date with wedding stuff was from a good friend who saw my dress and “expected something… not like that”. Gee thanks.

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I haven’t had this happen to me, but maybe your grandmother doesn’t think your gown is traditional enough. Have you tried it on for her? She may change her mind, if you do. I wouldn’t worry about it though, I know that is easier said than done. I am sure you will look beautiful no matter what you wear on your wedding day.

Post # 7
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh, I’m sorry that happened. Yes, I used to get affected by such comments of what *they* would choose or whatnot. I’d always smile and think quietly, “That’s nice, but I’m the one standing in this dress here. Uhhhh…can you relax a little with the commentary…? Please?” Tee hee! Totally understand and not minor at all. The dress is such a symbol of who we are, our very person. Sometimes people forget a bride is wearing her heart on her sleeve, and her bodice, and her skirt! It’s everywhere. I know this is true of my parents, who are from a generation that certainly agreed the dress should be pretty and special but they don’t understand how my generation puts such stress on it being “the” dress. I have a couple suggestions I’m following and maybe they’ll help you and others, too: 1) if you choose to show it to others, shield yourself as best you can, and preface by saying you are very sensitive to comments and would appreciate if they would please keep their comments gentle 2) save your dress from eyes of others until the wedding day itself. And 3) It helps to have a great sense of humor through it all. Try to laugh it off; whatever it is, you’ll be sure to forget it when you’re taking your vows and looking beautiful before your spouse to be! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am also sorry that this happened to you. I do not have a supportive family or I do not think they would be with this, so I did not ask for them to come dress shopping with my girls and I. I was surprised to find a dress, and when I picked it up I asked my Mom and Grandmother to come without my sister. It is a sad situation, but I have come to except that I will not have a good relationship with them. At times it does come and bite me, and I am sad. But I need to hold my head up and know that I have others in support. On the day we went to get my dress the only comment I received was “That is a pretty dress” from my Mom. Nothing out of my Grandmother other than a grumpy smile. Just one of those things that I need to except. Again I am sorry this happened to you. Remember that if you love the dress then that is all that matters!!!! Have a wonderful Wedding!!!

Post # 10
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh yes! I was so excited to show my dress to my Future Mother-In-Law and when she saw it she got a really disappointed look on her face and said, “ohh, i thought it would have some bling”… and that’s all she said. I got really paranoid about my dress for a while and started asking Fiance what he thought of other girls’ dresses when we went to weddings. I realized HE likes blinged out wedding dresses TOO and mine has none! 

I was really bummed out about that for a while, thinking my dress was too plain, and trying to think of ways that a seamstress could add bling to the waist, the hip, the neckline, etc. Finally, I realized that my beautiful dress is a empty (i.e. bling-free) canvas and I can go a little wild with the accessories. I’m adding a beautiful beaded lace shrug, a broach on the hip, a cage veil with rhinestones along the bottom, and some gorgeous Jenny Packham earrings and statement bracelet. FYI, all ready-to-wear Jenny Packham jewelry is 50% off right now on her website.

Anyway, moral of the story is that if you love the dress and it’s your style, don’t ask for or listen to anyone’s critique of the dress. I hope FH loves my dress (I think he will), but I finally accepted that my FMIL’s style and mine will never be remotely similar, and that’s okay with me.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I luckily didn’t have anyone comment negatively about my dress but I think I’d be pretty crushed if someone did! Hel-LO, the dress is like, one of the best parts of getting married, right?

I’m sorry your grandmother hurt your feelings, my grandma is the exact same way, doesn’t hold back and, for lack of a better word, is kind of a bitch sometimes…

I’m sure your dress is perfect for you and that you look stunning in it! In fact, show us a pic so we can ooh and ahh and tell you how gorgeous it is!

Post # 13
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s so pretty! Don’t let buzz-killers put you down, some people just can’t let go of the image they have in their head of how other people should behave / act that they are unwilling and unable to see it any other way… As long as your vision shines through (and as long as you accept that in your place, basically everyone you know would have made different choices) it’ll be great and I’m sure your Fiance will love that dress!

Post # 14
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My mom was a buzzkill while we were dress shopping….not about my dress but while we were waiting for a sales person she was checking her email and realized that her account was hacked and sent an email to every contact she had that just said “hi”.  She started to freak out because there were old boyfriends and work people, etc.  She spent the entire time worrying about that instead of helping me with dresses.  Luckily my older sister was there too so she helped me out.  So much for a great mother/daugther experience! HA!

Post # 16
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Ugh, yes! I know exactly what you’re talking about! I decided to wear my mom’s dress, and she was not very happy with that. Most mothers would be thrilled, but I think there was a piece of her that didn’t want to let her dress go. She kept saying to me, “Don’t you want to go look for a dress? Why do you want to wear mine?” You would think that it would be sentimental! Sheesh…

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