Post # 1
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
Hello bees,
This is my first post and I was looking for some advise. My wonderful fiance proposed to me just under two weeks ago. We have been throwing ideas around for our wedding which likely will not happen for another year or two. We discussed the possibility of having a fully vegetarian wedding since we are both vegetarians and have been for a few years.
Has anyone done this in the past? I keep skimming different venues to see what packages they have and I can barely find any that have a vegetarian main course option which makes me worry.
I’m interested in hearing how you went about it? Did you receive push back from family/friends?
Thanks bees!
Post # 2
Member
8390 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Best bet is to look at bringing in your own caterer. And yes you will get push back from fam/friends/the bee.
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
Our Synagague kitchen is dairy only. Meat was not an option. Made things easy.
Post # 4
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
I wouldn’t recommend it, but you know your circle best. Off the top of my head I have at least 5-10 people in my family who wouldn’t eat really anything (maybe bread) if it was all vegetarian. They would order pizza or something instead.
Just because you are vegetarian doesn’t mean you should push it on everyone else. I had seafood at my wedding and I hate seafood; but I live on the west coast and know that my guests would LOVE fresh seafood. You want your guests to be happy and have a good time; not eating food they wont like.
Post # 5
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
I’m sure there was someone on the bee a few months ago who had a vegetarian wedding, and had a high decline rate from non-veggie friends and family. Whilst I’d be really open to going to a vegetarian wedding, it depends on your crowd. My fi’s dad is one of those “it’s not a meal if there’s no meat” type people, he’d be really disappointed if all our options had been vegetarian.
Post # 6
Member
7566 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
OP, there is nothing wrong with a vegetarian/vegan menu as long as the food is tasty and well-prepared, but I would recommend avoiding some of the less widely known ingredients. People don’t like eating things they can’t identify. People can live without meat for a night.
kimmacph : “Just because you are vegetarian doesn’t mean you should push it on everyone else. I had seafood at my wedding and I hate seafood; but I live on the west coast and know that my guests would LOVE fresh seafood. You want your guests to be happy and have a good time; not eating food they wont like. “
This isnt the same thing, though. Many people choose a vegetarian/vegan diet because they are morally opposed to killing animals for food. They should not have to compromise their morals in order to feed their guests. You disliking seafood is a matter of taste, not an ethical one.
Post # 7
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
Agree with PP, only do this if you know your crowd. I used to be vegetarian, so I wouldn’t care and I also think it would be a silly reason to decline a wedding just because of what food you decide to serve me.
I’ve been to weddings where they served meat/fish/veggie options and no one liked it, so meat doesn’t mean crowd pleaser. If you’re set on doing this just make sure you have a really great caterer, I think people would be surprised with how many amazing meals you can make that are vegetarian.
Post # 8
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
kimmacph : That’s a false equivalency. It is NOT the same as serving any other dish you don’t like but know your guests would. This is about an an ethical decision to support an industry you don’t believe in. I’m guessing if you didn’t eat seafood for religious reasons–rather than simply a dislike–you wouldn’t serve it to your guests, either.
I think it’s perfectly fine to have a vegetarian menu. It’s consistent with both of your beliefs, so why wouldn’t you? Your guests will be able to survive without meat for one meal, and there is tons of crowd-pleasing vegetarian fare. Vegetarian food doesn’t have to mean tofu steak and lentil loaf; most omnivores eat plenty of vegetarian meals without thinking about it, and a good caterer should be able to pull off a wonderful menu of “accidentally vegetarian” food.
My preference would have been to have a 100% vegetarian/vegan wedding. But my husband isn’t vegetarian, and he felt that his family would be disappointed if there wasn’t at least some meat. Since he’s not a vegetarian and we wanted the wedding to represent both of us, we compromised and did a mostly vegetarian wedding, but we did include a chicken dish in our buffet to appease the meat eaters. Everything aside from the chicken was vegetarian, and it worked for us.
Post # 9
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
Horseradish : kimmacph:
See that’s where the problem lies. We are both vegetarian for ethical reasons. It makes it complicated.
I know my side would be entirely ok with it as you can have some really great, filling and delicious vegetarian options. My FH does not care whether his family is ok with it. This was more his idea than mine (I was struggling with the decision. He’s more resolute in his decision).
I absolutely want my guests to have a great time and enjoy themselves. It will likely be a small wedding with only our closest so we would be having the conversation with everyone beforehand.
Post # 10
Member
2617 posts
Sugar bee
Personally I wouldn’t mind a vegetarian menu at all, but just keep in mind that you’re likely to get a lot of push back from your guests. There are a lot of people that don’t really consider it a meal if there isn’t meat (I used to be a vegetarian and heard it all the time lol)
If you do decide to go with it though I’d try to find a caterer that specializes in it, or at least has a super varied menu. Vegetarian food is not typical event-fare so if you choose a standard caterer you’ll likely just end up with some very boring pasta or soggy eggplant dishes.
Post # 11
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
browneyedgirl24 : Thank you for your reply! Did you work directly with the venue? Or did you have to go to an outside caterer to get your mostly veggie menu?
Post # 12
Member
9231 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I think it’s highly unlikely that there is anyone who never has a meal without meat so they will survive one night. Make it hearty and familiar so that people don’t even notice there isn’t meat. I’ll happily eat vegetarian lasagna, salad, and dinner rolls all day long and I’m definitely a meat lover. Throw tofu, tempeh, or seitan in front of me and I’m going to fill up on cake instead.
Post # 13
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
wolfeyes : I didn’t think of that. I have had some pretty um..not tasty..vegetarian options at other places. Perhaps working with a fully vegetarian caterer would be the better option.
I’m in the NJ/NY area. Has anyone worked with a veggie/vegan caterer? Any recommendations?
There’s no shortage of restuarants but I’m not sure they would cater an event.
Post # 14
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: June 2019 - Home
I think that on your wedding day when you are providing food for your guests you have the right to choose a menu that reflects your personal belief system and diet. It’s not forcing it on others because they can choose not to attend if they are that upset about it, although I think that would be a petty and imature reason not to attend a wedding, can these people seriously hate vegetables that much?
I think there is a lot of ignorance amoung meat eaters when it comes to the vegetarian/vegen lifestyle…
All that being said I personally do not eat meat but my FH does so we will be having both options at our wedding. If we both didn’t eat meat I would personally feel bad not offering a meat option because my dad absolutely loves to eat meat and really does hardly eat anything else and I want him to be able to enjoy his meal on my wedding day. I guess it depends on your family and who you are willing to bend your morals to accommodate for.
Post # 15
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
beebee147 : Girl, this wedding is about YOU TWO. Your wedding is an expression of your 1)commitment to each other, 2)your combined personalities as a couple and 3)maybe honoring those who have supported your relationship up to this point
Screw everyone that is questioning your diet. Vegan weddings are uniquely lovely and if you’re shooting for an ethical wedding, what a great opportunity for exposure to your lifestyle!
You’ll have to do some extra research to find the right caterer, but they exist. If people seriously have an issue eating only plants for a single meal in their lives, then they have no business attending your wedding.