(Closed) Has anyone ever made rude remarks about the size of your ring?

posted 10 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Has anyone ever made rude remarks about the size of your ring?

    Nope, no one has ever said anything.

    Yes, people comment on how big it is but just stop at that!

    Yes, people comment on how small it is but that is all.

    Yes, people have asked me what carat weight it is.

    Yes, people have asked me how much it costs.

    No, but people have said stuff about it behind my back.

    Yes, people asked where we purchased the ring.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1221 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My friend’s mom looked at my ring and said “what is that, like half a carat?” but it’s clearly at least a full carat (round brilliant, vvs1, H, etc). She was drunk, so whatever, but that’s the only think anyone’s said to me about the size/cost.

    Post # 33
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I had someone ask me how my Fiance could afford a ring this big, sense he is a soldier and all. Ummm wtf? What’s funny is that my ring is 1 ct, which to me is huge but in the ring world I’ve heard is average..

    Post # 34
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Paiger8:  Yeah, I debated, but so much of my long distance family and friends asked, I figured one picture couldn’t hurt. No one else said anything like that, and I just said that it was beautiful and I loved it and some comment about how the camera adds 10 pounds.

    Post # 36
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I have a 1 ct. equivalent moissy, and have gotten exactly one comment of “That’s a big one!” from a friend of Fiance. He meant it as a compliment. That’s it. Some comments from women about the unique setting (bezel, slightly organic-looking) which range from positive to neutral in a kind way.

    Post # 37
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have only had one rude comment, and it was from a friend of a friend who has been rude to me in other ways, too.  Shortly after we got engaged, she asked to see my ring, and then said, “Oh.  That’s… cute.”  We’ve had this discussion on the Bee before, and I don’t think “cute” is always an insult, but it definitely was not a compliment in this instance.  Her tone was very condescending, and then she held her own hand up as if she were admiring her own (bigger) ring.

    (Also, I’ve had people ask me where my Fiance bought it, but I didn’t check that box in the poll because I don’t think that’s a rude question.  I have asked people that before, too, more for a recommendation for good jewelers than anything.)

    Post # 38
    Member
    1886 posts
    Buzzing bee

    When I went to my grandma’s house for thanksgiving everyone said it was too big. Then they kept asking how much it was and how many carats it was.  One of my cousins had recently got engaged when I was there and everyone wanted to see her ring but not mine. That really hurt.

    Post # 39
    Hostess
    7941 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @mandy102:  At work in Novato, waving hello. 🙂

     

    View original reply
    @Ms Bookworm:  I must admit I am guilty of saying “that is cute” to an e-ring in the past. I really didn’t mean for it to be anything other than complimentary. I have even had my ring called cute by a few ladies and I certainly know they don’t think it is small. I think at times we are at a loss for words and depending on your location (here is California it is used a lot) cute is the go to word for complimenting or commenting on something.

     

    Post # 40
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I had one old guy say to me “Don’t worry, he can always replace it with a bigger diamond for an anniversary one day.” UGH. It’s just under a carat, and I think it’s perfect. Other than this one instance, I haven’t had any other rude comments.

    Everyone has different preferences, so I think it’s possible to get negative reactions with any ring.

    Post # 41
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Treejewel19:  I can see that.  I give people the benefit of the doubt most of the time, but in this instance, judging by her tone & body language, it was meant to hurt me.  She didn’t say, “That is so cute!  I just love it.  It’s perfect for you!” or anything like that.  I don’t need people to exclaim, “gorgeous,” “beautiful,” “WOW!!!” all the time, you know?  But this was just very clearly a dig.  She said, “Oh. [pause] [wrinkled nose] That’s… cute” with an unpleasant look on her face.  (Then, she proceeded to ask me about things I had planned for the wedding so far, and criticized every single detail and told me I was doing it all wrong.  She was being a biotch.)

    Post # 42
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I have a cubic zirconia ring and when my OH proposed he apologised and said he’d get me a real diamond ring when he could afford it. But the ring is where we are now, chosen by him and I love it. It’s nothing like I would’ve chosen but I love it all the same. When I first got engaged I’d pre-empt ppl telling them it wasn’t real but no-one cared and they all said they coudlnt tell the difference anyway. As long as your both happy what does it matter? x

    Post # 44
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    people have commented no how big the stone is, but it has never been in a rude way

    Post # 45
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wanted ~1 carat and we looked at rings together. He could afford it so he got 1.5 carats. 

    We both regret/regretted 1.5, it’s soooo big. After he proposed and we got comments about it, he was way more upset about it. He kept thinking he made a mistake. I pretty much agreed with him but came up with excuses to not make him feel worse. It’s too late to do anything now. Sometimes I don’t think it’s that large and we could go bigger 😉 and then some days it’s like OMG this thing is huge, especially when people notice and sometimes it really bothers me. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Sometimes I think people comment about size because they know a lot of women want the larger ring.  So sometimes ladies it might be a way for them to compliment if they think that is what you wanted.  I mean that is a running idea that every girl wants bigger so if someone sees a ring that is on the larger size they might compliment it saying wow larger but they aren’t picking.  I hope that makes sense.

    The whole idea the bigger doesn’t always mean worse in quality idea, I think people who are close enough to you have an idea of how much you make as a couple and how much the rings cost in general so yeah I think they can to an extent tell that if your ring is larger and you don’t make that much then the couple had to sacrifice in another area.  That doesn’t mean it is wrong that just means your priorities are on carat but you might have sacrificed in color or in clarity or even cut because some cuts are cheaper than others.  It is just so interesting how people get insulted but the idea that people think their ring is of lower quality.  When you think about the fact that a 1 ct D,IF diamond might cost 25-30k and a 1 ct H,SI1 is only 7k you can see how people would assume that you probably sacrificed in another C to get ther larger ring. 

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