Post # 1
I’m getting married very soon and am worried that my Fiance will have a drag out fight at our wedding. We love each other very much but are both strong-willed people and get surly when drunk (which is when we have our big fights) and it’s not pretty.
He’s been a doll with the wedding planning, and I know this upcoming week will be a bear with preparations, so I’m worried something will bubble over on the one night that we really can’t or I’ll be absolutely heartbroken.
I’ve already brought this up, and how I plan on not drinking much so that I can be fully present (and not beligerent) but I know he will be drinkning to relieve stress and pressure.
Has anyone else experienced this fear/reality?
Post # 3
Relax before the big day. Remember why you’re there and what makes you happy. It’ll be okay.
Post # 4
No, we really didn’t experience anything like this. But if alcohol causes problems like this for you two, it sounds like you need to sit down and have a conversation before the wedding about neither of you drinking to that point. And it worries me that you say he’ll be drinking to relieve stress and pressure – I mean, I know some guys like to have a drink to ease their fears before the ceremony (although I may have told my Darling Husband I would kill him if there was alcohol on his breath for our first kiss as husband and wife), but what kind of pressure or stress could he be having at the reception? It’s a party in your honor!
Post # 5
I think you both need to agree to curb your drinking to the happy slight-buzz feeling, not drinking to being drunk.
I can relate – Fiance and I don’t fight when drinking, but if he’s drunk and I’m sober… omg, so irritating. It’s like dealing with Fiance minus 30 IQ points, and I’m not a very patient person with that. We’ve already had talks about keeping our drinking in check that night.
Post # 6
@stinsonbeachorbust: if this happens when drinking, neither of you should drink. i can’t believe that this is so big of an issue. it sounds like you are walking on eggshells. i personally wouldn’t put up with this for the rest of my life.
Post # 7
I also find this weird. Why would you even drink if this was a possibility?
Post # 8
I’ve been to weddings were the bride and groom have fought – and usually our friend alcohol is the reason why. If you are worried have you thought about asking your groom to limit his drinking?
My Fiance and I aren’t planning to drink a ton at our wedding. Not because I’m worried we’ll fight or anything…but we have both said we don’t want to get all wasted since we are spending way too much on our wedding to not be coherent for all of it. Plus I’m a bit too old to be some sloppy drunk bride. Oh and we leave for our honeymoon the next day so we can get wasted for entire an week if we want. 🙂
Post # 9
Don’t drink at your wedding if that’s when you fight. Maybe look into AA if it’s a big enough problem in your relationship.
Post # 10
No, but my first husband and I had a huge blowout on our honeymoon. It was awful.
Post # 11
Maybe try to relieve stress other ways, like a nice couple’s massage or something. Doesn’t sound like drinking is working for either of you.
Post # 12
@NAvery: +1 That’s exactly how I feel when my husband has been drinking, and I haven’t
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Yes, can you make a joint pact together to not get drunk? Have a couple drinks and get a buzz, but drink mostly water / coffee? I think that’s what we’re going to do too, because I can sometimes go a little overboard and forget to cut myself off. The last thing I want to do on my wedding night is be all sloppy… THink about ALL your friends and family there celebrating your committment to each other, and then you get in a big sloppy drunken fight? Yikes.
Post # 14
I would just set a limit of drinks for the night, and stick to it. I didn’t fight with my Darling Husband at our wedding, but I did get rather salty with him at one of his family’s parties because he kept walking off to check out the pig roast & such when I didn’t know anyone, and he also didn’t bother introducing me to anyone. I’m guessing if I hadn’t been buzzed, I would’ve been able to reel myself in a bit, and I regret that.
Post # 15
Darling Husband and I drink frequently. While we don’t get mean or surly, we can over-do pretty easily and we didn’t want to take the chance of not being able to remember the reception. We just planned in advance to curb our drinking. I got tipsy toward the end of the night at our after-party but I don’t think Darling Husband even got that far. And it was still the best night ever.
Make a pact not to drink to excess, especially if you’re prone to arguments. That’s the LAST thing that you want you or your guests to remember about your wedding. It’s just one night. You can get trashed together on your honeymoon (like we did).
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I agree with PPs…agree to curb the drinking so that you dont have a fight and can enjoy your time with family and friends. You worked so hard on planning the wedding that I would think you’d want to have a memorable evening (good kind of memorable, lol) that can be prevented by slowing down on the drinking. Sloppy brides and grooms are not cute.