- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I’m not having assigned seating. It’s buffet and with this crowd I think it will be fine.
I really don’t like when there are not assigned tables. I’ve been to a wedding like this and it was a small crowd even, but I ended up having to sit by myself at a table I didn’t know anyone because there were no free seats at the one table I had friends at.
Unless you have a fairly small group, or one where everyone knows everyone else, I wouldn’t recommend it.
When hearing that my niece was having open seating at her wedding, a few years back, I said to her mother “My adult kids told me they’d prefer not to sit with their younger cousins.” She said they were welcome to sit anyplace they wanted. Well guess who they ended up sharing a table with and had to listen to them talk about Harry Potter all night? Not fun!
I too initially thought no seating plan might be easier, but on second thought I really don’t think it is. I’ve never planned a wedding before and at the beginning I had a lot of crazy ideas about things that were just so impracitcal (ask the snarky chickens, lol). But seriously, just be open to changing your mind because sometimes our first ideas are not the best.
It all depends on the size of your reception and whether people know each other. At the lunch party that followed my wedding we were all family. So it never occurred to DH and I to assign them seats.
At larger weddings with a guest list that includes different groups who don’t all know each other well I think it is helpful to assign tables rather than individual seats. Otherwise you really do risk the unseemly scramble to bag seats or the situation where people find themselves sat in glorious isolation like Nobby and Norma No-Mates because they’ve just missed sitting at a table with friends and nobody else chooses to sit with people they don’t know. As a guest, it just makes life easier.
Also, I’d respectfully suggest that it is worth considering the layout of the room carefully in order to avoid creating the impression that some tables are inferior to others. Nobody wants to sit next to the restroom or backing onto the kitchen door. Anyone who sits at a “Siberian Table” may well assume (almost certainly wrongly) that their presence is less desirable than that of other guests.
I think not assigning tables is ignoring the comfort of guests. Some guests will “hold” seats, and others will feel like they are the unpopular kids back in High School, looking for a seat. People without kids will get stuck at tables with kids. You can spend a lot on food and drinks, and then people not have a good time.
I have heard stories both good and bad about “free for alls”. Sometimes they work and others they are a huge mess. Things didn’t quite work out , so someone is sitting by themselves, ppl are falling all over each other OR just pulling chairs to where they want to sit, regardless of room. Again this is just what I heard from people who have been to no seating plan weddings.
How many guests? I think the smaller the wedding, the easier it is to skip a seating chart
Sorry but no it’s NOT easier for everyone, it’s only easy for you. No one likes wrestling for a table among a sea of people they don’t really know at your wedding. Assigned tables are better for everyone. And NO one likes ending up at the reject table, where there are only like 5 people out of 8 chairs and no one talks because everyone is uncomfortable.
It’s not hard to put a little bit of thought into putting your guests at tables together where they might have something in common with the other guests sitting there.
I went to a wedding without assigned tables and by the time the bridal party got there, they had no place to sit but these weird small hightops. It was a mess.
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