(Closed) Has anyone had a close relative get sick/pass away right before their wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry about your uncle, I will keep him in my prayers hon ((hugs))

FI’s father passed away from a brain anureysum (SP?) in November, just before Thanksgiving, while we were visiting him. It was really unexpected, and we’re still struggling with it. The wedding isn’t until August, but every time I think about having the wedding without my Father-In-Law there, I break down. It’s not an easy thought, but for us it’s a reality that he won’t be there. He was the only father I’ve ever known, and he always referred to me as his daugther. I loved my father in law, and knowing that he won’t see us get married rips my heart into a million pieces. 

Instead of focusing on such a negative outlook for the wedding, we’ve been trying to be positive and thinking of ways to incorporate him into the wedding. For example, I’m going to be hanging a photo of him on my bouquet. We haven’t quite decided what Fiance is going to do. 

I know that it’ll be a hard day because 95% of our guests are FI’s dad’s side of the family, and obviously we all know he should be there, but you can’t trudge on the fact that they aren’t there. That’s the biggest thing. You can’t focus on that fact. know that they are with you in spirit, and while it may not be the exact way that you want them there, they are very much present. 

You’re not superficial for thinking about the wedding, not at all., This is going to be one of the most important days of your life, and of course you want everyone that you love to be there. The vital thing to remember is that even if he can’t be there physically, your Uncle will always be with you honey. 

If you need to vent, I’m just a PM away. I know that it helps just to sometimes type everything out and let it all out.  

Cherish the time that you have with your uncle, and hold on to the memories that you share with him. Those are the most precious things that you can have.  

Post # 4
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble

First, ((HUGS))…I am so sorry you and your family are going through this, and your FH is an awesome man, to be so understanding and such a rock for you.

I had a similar thing when I got married the 1st time at 19. I had already moved in with my XH, and my father and his x-wife(whom both I’d only known for about a year and a half), were so busy trying to keep my grandfather secluded(and his money, I kid you not), that I didn’t even know he was sicker than he already had been. He passed away the morning after our wedding, and I found out through my g’ma-IL, who saw it in the paper a few days later.

It really sucks, and for me, it definitely killed off the rest of our “staycation” honeymoon.

I don’t say this to be mean, but my aunt went through a second battle with a brain tumor, in and out of the hospital and was even on “comfort measure” care through hospice. The doctors told my 2 cousins not to expect much, that it was probably the end. Humph, that good ole girl pulled through it, after it pulling her down for a couple months. Seriously, she called me one day out of the blue, after not having the balance to dial the phone, and aside from talking slower, knew everything going on, and all kinds of stuff. It actually seemed like she’d just taken a breather, not that she’d just had a brain tumor just go away! It was crazy!

I’d recognize the somber atmosphere, but continue to plan. It’s 5 weeks away, but he could pull through til after. If he were to pass, I think it’d be a question of how your family would handle it. Ya’ll will be in mourning, and maybe if ya’ll have to, you can do the ceremony, but keep the reception low key? I’m really not sure.

Post # 5
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That’s so awful:( My heart goes out to you! I’ll send prayers your way! I lost my dad last march to a freak car accident and it breaks my heart knowing he won’t be able to walk me down the isle. I hope and pray that you can have all your loved ones at your wedding and not have to go through the grief or anything. At least you have what sounds like an amazing fiance to help keep your chin up through everything!

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