Post # 1
I’ve seen an old thread on this but hoping to start a new one.
Has anyone gone on to have a successful relationship with their so-called “rebound”?
I was married for approx. 3 years (together for 7). It was a very difficult marriage – I knew he was wrong for me from the very start of the relationship and I accepted to marry him out of pressure. I never loved him and very unfortunately let it drag on for years. We had an essentially sexless marriage and lived very separate lives despite living together. I have reason to believe that my ex is gay. We were good friends but essentially roomates.
Fast forward to this summer – our marriage had been very rocky and we both knew it was over. I was under the impression that he still loved me and was so relieved to hear that it had been over in his mind for a long time. I initiated the breakup and I quickly moved out. In the first couple of weeks, I had two one-night stands for fun (just on Tinder).
Within a month of moving out, I met a guy from Bumble for drinks just to socialize. I had zero expectations and before we met told him I was not looking for anything serious, but open. He said the same.
When we met, we instantly clicked. He is funny, attractive and an all-around amazing person. He is more than a year out of his divorce, and we were upfront about our situations. We casually dated each other for a few weeks before becoming an item. We are now on month 4 of our relationship. We are both 30 and can see ourselves having a future together, possibly even children. My parents really like him. I have never experienced these feelings for anyone else before.
Today, I feel anxious and guilty for moving on so quickly, and for being “that girl”. I thought I would be single for a long time and I fear what people think of me – my family, my friends, and basically everyone on the internet who seems to classify any relationship within a year of divorce as “doomed”.
Any success stories out there?
Post # 2
I’m very close to being engaged to the man I met 4 days after moving out of my ex’s house (my ex and I weren’t married, but it was a serious relationship.)
I met my current boyfriend/future fiancé by complete accident at a party, so I wasn’t actively seeking anyone out on dating apps, but I certainly think it’s possible to have a successful relationship very soon out of a relationship. I wouldn’t worry too much about what other people think. Just enjoy your new relationship and see what happens!
Post # 3
I’m married to my rebound.
My ex husband and I were together for 11 years and married for 4, similar situation to yours except I don’t think he is gay we just lost that spark and were essentially roommates.
I moved out December 2014 and had a few Tinder flings. My now husband and I had our first date early March, became official in April, moved in together in July and were engaged by March the following year. We got married on our 2 year anniversary.
We are celebrating our second wedding anniversary this coming April and our baby girl is due in May.
Post # 4
My best friend married her “rebound” She was in a very toxic/abusive relationship before she met her husband. A couple months after that relationship ended she met her husband and I think they were married less than a year after she left the abusive asshole.
My SIL dated her high school sweetheart for 7 years, all the way through college before they broke up. She met her now fiancé a couple months after that and they are getting married in May.
Post # 5
I started dating my fiancé within a week of breaking up with my last boyfriend. I was a little worried I was jumping into things at first, but things just naturally moved at a fast pace. Every relationship is different. Don’t let the rebound stereotype get to you too much.
Post # 6
Thanks everyone! This is awesome and I hope to read more responses from others.
I think it would have been much easier had my ex and I not been married – there is definetly an additional stigma when it comes to divorce. Also my new man is a father so there is even MORE stigma to contend with – just a lot at once for people to judge!
I know that in 6 months to a year this will seem irrelevant, but it seems like such a big deal so early on in the relationship. Looking forward to the future! We leave for a trip to Cuba tomorrow 🙂
Post # 7
I’m engaged to my rebound..
Met him on Match about 3 months after a bad break up. We clicked, and he was a wee pet, but I didn’t think it was a go-er for a while as he was so different to my ex and I was still a bit raw..
Engaged 18months later!!
I think rebound relationships tend to have a high success rate where they really shine a light on how a relationship can be “good” compared to why the last one was bad/ended…!!
Post # 8
I married my rebound after a few years of being with him. I knew from the start that this is not a good relationship but my self-esteem was such down in the dumps that I kept telling myself ‘this is the best I can do’, or ‘I deserve this only’.
To make matters worse, I had a baby with this fool thinking that this is as ‘good as it gets’. (Un)fortunately, I met an amazing man a MONTH after I got married but I did not pursue that relationship in any shape or form because I was already married.
One day I woke the f**k up and realized my hubby was not only totally wrong for me, but also for our mutual son. He treated us badly.
I finally got the courage to leave the fool after our son turned 3. So, although, my life isn’t super great right now (that was 1.5 years ago), I do feel FREE. And I can’t put a price on that!
Post # 9
mellyjbee : And this is exactly why I did not pursue that other relationship when I met a great guy a month after my horrible marriage to my rebound… because this other man had 2 [adult] children from a previous marriage. I felt the heat of the stigma coming off my family already before even THINKING about doing something about it.
Fortunately, we have remained good friends since then and even now after my separation of 2 years, I am still friends with this other man but right now I feel so FREE that I don’t want another relationship yet.
Post # 10
@queenie8119 I’m terribly sorry to hear that. For me, I have already married and divorced an a**hole and I am very very confident that my boyfriend is not that type of man. I see him with his children and he is an amazing father, and a great person overall.
Post # 11
I haven’t experienced it myself but as an outsider seeing friends go through it, the only advice I have is to take your time. Even if you feel this person is right for you it doesn’t mean you have to rush to marriage or kids or what have you. I have seen more rebound relationships not work out than I’ve seen them work and what they all had in common was they moved too fast. The MOST common was they still went back and dabbled with their exes sexually before truly ending things. This isn’t absolute but it’s good reason to just take your time and make sure you’re both invested in the now and not going back to the past. As far as what others think it isn’t their life to live so do what’s best for you.
Post # 12
I am married to my rebound! I had been with my ex for 6 1/2 years and we were living together, but not engaged. We met and started dating in high school and had been together through college, but we had definitey grown apart during the year prior to the breakup. He had pushed for an open relationship that I reluctantly agreed to because I wasn’t ready to lose him, but the result of that ended up being that both of us developed feelings for other people. I ended it with him but wasn’t planning on dating anyone for a while. About a week after we broke up, my good friend (who I had feelings for) confessed that he was interested in dating me. I was hesitant about starting a relationship especially because I was going to be going out of state for grad school in a few weeks, but we gave it a shot and 4 years later we got married! We’ve been married for about 4 months now :). “Rebound” relationships can definitely help people figure out what worked or didn’t work in the past and help build more successful relationships in the future.
Post # 13
I met my husband the same week that I signed my divorce. I wasn’t looking for it, but it just happened.
We met while I was in vacation and although I had the most amazing time with him, I was sure it was going to be just a highlight in my trip because we literally had the Atlantic Ocean in between….
Two weeks later he bought tickets to visit me, and again, we had the most amazing time together.
He proposed eight months after and now we are happily married.
People do judge, they will say you are rushing into things, but who cares if you know deep in your heart that you’ve never been happier!!! I even lost 2 friends because they insisted this was only a rebound. The truth is I just can’t believe how lucky we are and at the end that’s all that matters.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2018 - Mount Princeton hot springs
I was more or less my husbands rebound. After him and his ex separated he saw a few people. We met and casually dated for a few months long distance- he lived 4 hours away but worked near me once or twice a month so we would go out then totally casual. Neither of us wanted anything serious but as time passed we were undeniably clicking, we had “the conversation” and realized we both wanted the same things, and from there there have been no questions!
Post # 15
Got cheated on. Banged his cousin. Am now married to and have two children with that cousin.