Has anyone had a lasting relationship with their "rebound"?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeah, I’m married to the random guy I hooked up with at a bar the weekend after I ended a relationship. 

Post # 33
Member
9641 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

mellyjbee :  

Yeah, my Dh. I left my exh, an abuser, in May and bought my own little dollhouse on acreage for the furbabies to go wild on. (Typical German Shepherds, let them out to play, they hang wherever you are). 

Very quickly, I met a guy online who was very nice and funny, but permanent friend zone for me. He was hoping for more, but not pushy. We spent a lot of time together on weekends, which likely saved me from countless really bad decisions.

Turd and I had our first court date in October. In January, I met Dh. He understood that I wasn’t ready for anything major. He was happy to wait. Meanwhile, he made the hour drive to my house and the hour drive back, even at ghastly hours, after taking me out to lovely dinners. His patience made it work.

 

One of my dearest friends served time as a Transition Girl years ago. Let’s call my friend Arly and the guy will be Jack. They met at work and clicked. He thought she was hot. She was totally smitten. This was back in the olden day’s, when this sort of thing was still legal.

Arly is very cute and upbeat, she has never had trouble attracting men.

One teeny problem:  Jack was married. He claimed he no longer wanted to be and they were in the process of separating. That can translate into absolutely anything. 

Arly was in hell for awhile, but she was too crazy in love to give up. Jack did leave his wife. 

Arly got lots of blowback about being a home wrecker. Not really true. The marriage was pretty much dead already.  Too young and immature, typical story.

Jack and Arly move in together. Arly started campaigning for a ring. Jack was in no rush. Arly was absolutely confident that a proposal was eminent. We all thought she was nuts.

Then, as if to prove my point, Jack bought himself a boat.

Next, to be filed under What the Hell Do I Know; Jack proposes to Arly, beautiful ring and all. They had a big, gorgeous wedding.

Would I ever do an Arly? Not a chance. But, it worked for them.

Post # 34
Member
2367 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

mellyjbee :  I was in my early 20’s when I married my ex-husband (who was also a rebound guy after I broke up with my high-school/college guy) and yes, I had a lot of doubts but I didn’t listen to myself (or my BFF who voiced her concerns about him). He was completely wrong for me. We separated just after our first anniversary. It was a classic case of young, dumb, and in a rush/pressured to get married.

With my husband, we spent our first two years together still believing that it was just a fling/rebound (exclusive, but very much on the down-low). By year three, we both realized that what we had was really great but it still took another year+ (and a 4 month break) for us to finally admit that we wanted to spend our lives together and to agree on a timeline. I had zero doubts about him as a person, but the extras (age gap, his kids, both divorced) gave us (both) pause. 

One word of caution: I never wanted kids, and I don’t have kids. We thought my husband’s daughters would continue to live with their mom. Nope, they both moved in with us BEFORE we got married. And being a stepmom is 100 times harder than I ever imagined it would be. I love our girls and wouldn’t change our life for anything but there were days that brought me to my knees emotionally and mentally. All this to say, if you become stepmom, be ready for a rollercoaster. 

Post # 35
Member
39 posts
Newbee

mellyjbee :  my story is very similar to yours. My ex-husband and I had been together for 7 years, married for 5. Less than 2 months after we separated and he moved out, I started dating my now fiance. I kept telling him I wasn’t looking for anything serious- I was still married technically and dealing with a lot of emotional fallout, etc. (1 year separation required before divorce can legally be filed in my state). He took it all in stride and was as patient as I could dream of. Our two year dating anniversary is next week and we plan to marry in fall next year. I am 35yo, he is 33. He is different is almost every way imaginable from my ex, and our relationship is as well.

Good luck!

Post # 36
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Success story here!  I met him just 2 weeks after my husband left me with 2 small boys under 3 years of age.  I never expected to meet anyone that soon, nor was I even looking.  We’ve now been together almost 15 years!!  He gave me an engagement ring 2 years ago but I prefer to call it a committment ring because I’m leary of marriage now.  Thank goodness I found a good man who helped raise my 2 young boys into nice young men and is patient waiting for me to get over my fear of marriage.

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