(Closed) has anyone had your friends and family officiate your wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My cousin was ordained to marry us and it was one of the best wedding decisions that we made. Nothing beats being married by someone that you know and love. We aren’t religious so the only other option would have been to hire some random JOP that we didn’t know but we thought that was really impersonal.

As for how to go about doing something like this, first you need to make sure it’s legal where you live. Different regions have different rules. My cousin used the universal life church and had no issues. Literally, all you need is a valid email address.

ETA: Just reread your post… so you’re going to be legally married beforehand? If that’s the case, you don’t really need to have anyone ordained since this ceremony wouldn’t be legally binding. You could just have your friend/family member officiate on an informal basis.

Post # 4
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we had a family friend marry us. She is my dad’s really close friend, and she’s a lawyer and an amazing speaker. She pulled from many resources for our wedding ceremony and it was perfect (best one I’ve heard, if I do say so myself!). I loved that it was super personal and we didn’t have to feed her a ton of information. She actually even spoke with our bridal party and our parents to add to the ceremony. It was awesome and I totally recommend doing it!

Post # 5
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My mum, who is a priest, is marrying us – I’m so glad she is because the ceremony is going to be so personal and lovely Smile

Post # 6
15 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m sorry to hear about the family drama 🙁

To answer your question:my good friends had a close friend of theirs marry them. Not only was it very special and personal, but not that difficult to arrange. Their friend got ordained online at  themonastery.org They have marriage laws state by state, and is where a friend of mine got his ordination.I would make sure that you check your state’s laws.

It’s also important to note that if your officiant doesn’t live in the same state that the cermony is supposed to take place, he will need a sponsor from the organization ordaining him in the state the ceremony is going to take place to secure his liscence in that state.

For instance, we asked my brother in law to officiate for us. He happens to already be an ordained Episcopalian minister in TN, but we are getting married in Illinois. He will have to register in the county that we are getting married in, has to contact the Episcopalian church in IL to have a parish sponsor him (prove he is in good standing with the Episcopalian church) to legally marry us in IL.

It’s the same process for a minister ordained online.

Post # 7
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My brother n law married us and it was aweosme because I knew that he had an emotional connection with us and it made it extra special. 

Post # 8
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If I read your post correctly, you will have been legally married before your ceremony, right?  So I don’t think you will need to have your friend/family member ordained to perform your ceremony, since it isn’t technically legally binding (I mean no disrespect).  But I believe that anyone can be ordained through the internet after paying a fee, if you did want the person to be able to sign off on your marriage license during/after the ceremony. I’m assuming you are getting married in the United States.  I have no knowledge of how it works outside of America.

I saw a wedding on TV once where the couple had a whole host of family and friends marry them.  There was no JOP or clergyperson.  I believe it was some type of Wiccan ceremony.  I’ve not seen anything like it before or since.  It was a very cool idea, but I’m not sure how it worked out logistically for the legal aspect of the ceremony.

If you are set on having your family members and friends do this, then have a civil ceremony beforehand and sign all the papers then.  Your ceremony can then be done however you wish.

Post # 9
1011 posts
Bumble bee

My uncle (by marriage) performed my ceremony and also did my sister’s.  He’s an ordained minister.

I had several cousins in California have their friends be deputized and perform their weddings.

One of my best friends had her sister perform her wedding even though she had the official title of “matron of honor.”  Big sis is an ordained Episcopalian minister.  Her nephew was the cross bearer.

Everyone thought having family/close friends added a lot to the ceremony.

Post # 10
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Not sure where you live, but if you’re going to do a JOP before hand, you’re already married, whoever can do the wedding.

We had DH’s coworker, who is an actor, and a very nice speaker, go to the courthouse, we had to write a letter saying why we wanted him to do it. And he was okay’ed to do our wedding only. They told him that they wouldn’t take that online thing. So if you’re doing your actual wedding with your friend, make sure you talk with your courthouse.

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