(Closed) Has anyone legally married but had the wedding ceremony in a year ?

posted 7 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Why wouldn’t you just have your wedding ceremony now? I’m a bit confused, when you get “legally married” isn’t that your wedding?

Post # 4
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

@chesseplease: I’m assuming by religious reasons you mean you want to have sex without feeling guilty (I’ve read your other posts)? If that is the case I don’t think it is appropriate to get married now and put on the “show” over a year later.

Post # 6
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly, you need to suck it up and wait (you’ve waited this long right?) or just do it and not wait. You don’t need 2 weddings to the same person, and yes, that’s what your “legal on paper” wedding is. It’s just as much a wedding ceremony at the courthouse as it is in front of family and friends.

Post # 7
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m a little confused too – are you saying that if you got married now, you and your husband wouldn’t live together until the wedding reception party a year (or more) later? Would you lie to your friends and family for a year about your marital status?

Only you can decide what’s best for you, but if you lie to your family for over a year and live a lie (pretending you are single when you’ve been married for over a year), when people find out, I’d bet there will be some hurt feelings.

 

Post # 8
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

@Belle2Be: I agree. I’m all for marrying early for insurance or immigration purposes, but because you don’t have self-control? I don’t agree with that.

 

@chesseplease: If you really want to marry now so you can have guilt-free sex, that is your choice and no one should have a problem with it! But any party you throw in celebration a year later would be an anniversary party, not a wedding.

Post # 9
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I know two couples who have gotten married before their wedding celebration, but both of them were for military reasons- he was being deployed, and she wanted to be able to know where he was, which is a privilage only granted to spouses, not girlfriends. 

 

In my opinion, if you want to have sex but don’t want to do the deed until you’re married, then get married!  However, don’t lie about it- that seems to me like you are defeating the purpose of getting married by engaging in a different type of sin- deception.

 

Post # 10
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@meganmp1: I agree… If all sins are seen as equal, then lying about being married is just as bad as not abstaining from sex. That said, I REALLY don’t think you should rush into marriage because you want to have sex…

Post # 11
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

In my opinion, people should either be married or not married.  If your particularly religious beliefs don’t allow you to be intimate prior to marriage, you have to decide what is more important to you – waiting for a year or more to have the big wedding or getting married now without all the fuss (or deciding that those religious beliefs no longer fit your personal beliefs).  I don’t see how lieing to your families/friends would be a good option. 

This may be different for you, but I’ll say it as an example.  I grew up in a church (and family) that heavily frowned upon any intimacy/ living together prior to marriage.  They went so far as to say that if it “appeared” as if you were in those situations, you were doing wrong because you were leading people to believe that it was ok.  So even if you weren’t intimate with your SO, but you spent the night at his house, it would not be “right.” 

Will you stay over at your husband’s house (or visa versa) if you choose to get married now before every knows about it?  If not, what’s the point of getting married?  Marriage is about so much more than just the sex.  Also, will your religion accept being married “on paper” as the real thing?  If not, then being intimate with your spouse would still be wrong in their eyes. 

Post # 15
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you decide to get married now and everyone knows, why would you get married again later?  Also, can you clarify why you won’t be able to live together?  Is it because you are separated dut to education or work for the next year or you just wouldn’t be comfortable living together until the wedding ceremony?  I’m sorry if you answered it elsewhere – I’m just a little confused. 

Would you be willing to answer a few other questions?  I understand if you’re not comfortable answering them though.  What is your religion?  It sounds pretty strict if you’re not able to kiss until you’re married.  Does your SO share your same religious beliefs?  Do both your SO and yourself live on your own and support yourselves or do you receive help (such as from parents)?  What would your families think about this proposal of yours?  Edit: From your profile, it looks like you’re about 20.  Are you nearly done with school?  Is your SO done with school?  Can you support yourselves with your jobs?  I think answering some of those practical questions is helpful when deciding if now is the right time to marry.

Good luck as you make this decision!

Post # 16
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@chesseplease: You’ve been together for 4 years and seriously can’t wait 1 more?

I think what you’re missing is that your “legal wedding” IS your ceremony. Anything else is just a party.

The topic ‘Has anyone legally married but had the wedding ceremony in a year ?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors