(Closed) has anyone let family members influence their wedding dates or locations?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh, completely. I wanted to have an elopement or a DW in Aruba, but family is a factor–my father is too ill to travel. So now we are thinking the beach in NJ, but I have to make sure my father doesn’t walk on sand with his bad hip.

My Fiance jokes about this and says let’s just get married in front of your house so your father can sit on his favorite bench.

I think it will depend who you really want to have there. Of course you could do it whenever you want, but if people can’t come, will you enjoy it as much?

I would rather have my pops there so I will do it where I need to so he can come.

Post # 4
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We knew we wanted a fall wedding, but we had to take into consideration that my cousin was getting married in September, and the Penn State football schedule (lots of season tix in the family).  Plus my Maid/Matron of Honor must work certain weekends throughout the year, and our bestman had preplanned hockey tournament trips to Canada for the team he coaches…so we needed to work with that as well if we wanted them in our wedding (which we did!).

As far as location, I wanted to have it in the County I grew up in (right across the river from where we live), but fiance’s parents are homebodies and I knew if we were too far away from them, they wouldn’t come…so I had to rework that plan.

I like to keep everyone happy, but sometimes it gets hard — and I’ve had plenty of people tell me to do what I want and everything will fall into place.

Post # 6
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Sadly yes.  My 1st wedding was basically whatever my mom wanted.  We HAD to get married in her church & we were only give 1 month to plan the wedding & she wanted a date where everyone would be home, hence the day before easter.  To say the least my mother was a witch when it came to my 1st marriage.  Apparently in 2007 it was NOT okay to be 21 & pregnant.  She is stuck in the 1950’s, its sad it really is.  She did to me exactly what her parents did to her & it was horrible!

Post # 7
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh yes! I wanted to get married in Disney World. The minute I mentioned it my mother and sister-in-law had an attitude saying it’s rude to ask people to fly to Florida for your wedding. Personally I would never hold it against someone if they declined but when I thought about it I knew some people I really wanted to come wouldn’t and that would just suck to be honest. But as we keep planning I keep regretting not just doing it and then maybe having a small party here. I almost let Future Mother-In-Law talk me into a venue I hated. She kept saying how good their food is but I hate the decor of the place. Looks so old and had the oddest layout. I’m glad I stuck to my guns on that one! 

Post # 8
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should at least take into consideration the schedules of the people you most want there (parents, siblings, grandparents).  You don’t necessarily have to bend over backwards, but if your parents want to take a trip in September or your FI’s brother is graduating in May or your sister wants to go away for spring break then you should take those things into account when selecting your date.

Post # 9
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

YES!  We had such trouble with this.  We ended up having to decide to have 2 weddings–in two countries, a month apart.  YIKES.  We wanted our wedding to be in September (a great month to be in Greece—less tourists, wonderful weather) My sister is a teacher, and even though school doesnt start until late August, she told me she wouldn’t be able to make it to our Greek wedding if we had it in September or even August—so she can get her room ready for school!!!!  I was like…ummm….ok…couldn’t you do that before the wedding??  So now we have it the very last weekend of July, and she’s still complaining (which is silly, considering I am not forcing her to go and I’m having 2 weddings for the soul fact that I know people can’t fly to one location or the other).  So now we’re having our US wedding June 29th, and plan to leave for Greece on July 15th so we have enough time to get the paperwork done for the marriage certificate there.  That leaves us 2 weeks to get the suit and dress cleaned, pack, and get ready for a month-long trip.  ahhhhhhhhhhh!  This is nuts.  I’m starting to be in the boat of “I don’t care if you got issues with our wedding—WE are getting married, not YOU!”.  🙁  Petty issues, yes, but when you’re dumping a ton of money to have 2 weddings to cater to EVERYONE, and they STILL complain, well, that leaves you feeling bitter.  Hopefully yours doesnt get that messy….in fact, don’t let it get that messy.

Post # 12
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes, our date and location are entirely based around what is best for our families.  We live in southern california and we wanted to get married here.  However, our families live in northern ca so we are having our wedding there because it will be more convienient for them.  I wanted to have our wedding in june but fsil graduates from uni in late july so we are getting married july 27 to acommadate her.  It really depends on what is more important to you having your wedding the way you want it or having the people you love there.  To me, my family is the most  important which is why i am illing to accomadate them.  Plus each set of parents is paying for a third of our wedding so i think that gives them a say

Post # 14
Member
1329 posts
Bumble bee

We did, only to kinda get burned. Fiance and I wanted to elope. Then some people complained. THEN his brother n family said they were coming out here anyway around the end of July..so we figured Why not…just throw an intimate party and plan it around when people will be here.

Well, we announced our wedding date and they told us they cancelled the trip and that they couldnt affor t ofly 5 people out here, so family had to get together and pay for their flights.

In the end, it all worked out (we picked them up from the airport this morning and are super happy to see them) but yup, we changed our whole wedding plan for family n friends!

Post # 16
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, we did too.  We wanted a Destination Wedding but because we had a lot of eldery grandparents that would have not been able to attend, we had a big wedding close to home.

Sometimes I wish we had just done what we wanted, but when I look back at our wedding photos and see family members that are no longer with us, I’m glad we compromised.

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