(Closed) Has anyone NOT been invited to a wedding you FI was invited to?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@HoneyBear.. no excuse then!!

Post # 18
179 posts
Blushing bee

Although it is totally rude for them to leave you off the invite list, you should still talk to Fiance about this. Maybe he can ask why you weren’t invited… I’d definitly have him intervene and deal with the situation.

There could be circumstances that prevent them from inviting more people. My Fiance was the officiant at his best friends wedding and I was not invited to go. I have a good relationship with this couple and we spend holidays together sometimes. The wedding was very intimate and only 2 people outside of the family were invited: my Fiance and his friend’s business partner. Fiance was kind of upset that I wasn’t extended an invite but I understood the parameters of the wedding and didn’t let it bother me at all.

Hopefully there will be some sort of explanation for this. If it turns out that they are not having an intimate wedding… your Fiance should ask for you to be a guest. It would be totally unfair and flat out mean to leave you out.

Post # 19
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Its possible they had people helping with the wedding list & they mailed you one seperately. Give it a few days & see if you get one. Or its possible that the helpers didn’t see your name with his & so didn’t put the 2 seats there or they completely spaced it (its hard remembering every single person you want to invite). I’ve heard it happen that parents help & the bride & groom never know that some of their friends never got an invite.

My best friends got married a little over a year ago & I never got an invitation in the mail. It wasn’t ever sent back to them, they had my correct address, & I never got it. To this day, I wonder where it went!! However, I was invited & they personally handed me an invitation when I asked them where I was supposed to go for their wedding (I was their photographer so they knew I was going)!

Or maybe there’s a reason, like they’re just having a very small wedding & only really close friends/family are going? I just wouldn’t get too upset about it, it may be a mistake or there’s a reason for it.

Post # 20
484 posts
Helper bee

yeah that happened to me too. Only my husband was handed the invite in person while we were both together at a bar, along with the statement, “Hope YOU can make it.” It was so awkward and rude. Husband went to the wedding, I have no idea why, but we’ve never had anything to do with that couple since.

Post # 21
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

WOW!!  I can’t believe this happens!  You should def get him to check and then boycott the wedding if they purposefully left you out.  whether you like someones significant other or not, if they are in a serious relationship BOTH people get invited, period.

@Rosie Girl – this applies to you too, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like the girl, you need to invite her.  But not because of what she will think, but because of what HE will think.  This is your FI’s friend who he is obviously very close with cuz he’s in the wedding.  Not inviting her could result in bad things with their relationship… is that really worth it?

Post # 22
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow that’s messed up.  In my book, if someone has a steady SO (and FI’s count), then the SO should also be invited as a matter of courtesy, regardless of whether the couple knows them both.

Don’t give the couple too much grief over it though.  I’m just thinking of all the posts we’ve seen here about guests trying to invite someone they didn’t have room for, etc.  There’s probably some legitimate reason that they couldn’t invite you… hopefully they don’t secretly hate you or something!  But who knows.

If you and your Fiance aren’t happy with him going alone, then just have him decline the invitation and leave it at that.  Better not to make a fuss about it.

Post # 23
3 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow! Reading these comments are crazy! I wouldn’t imagine inviting one individual without inviting the other! What an awkward situation to put somebody into! I would sit down with my Fiance and have a serious talk!!

Post # 24
47 posts

This happened to me last summer! We were both relatively close to the couple, my SO and I had been dating longer than them (4 years at that point) and we live together, so it’s not like I was the new girlfriend that they didn’t know or didn’t have room for. Apparently it was the bride’s decision, saying they had no room. I wasn’t the only SO that wasn’t invited either – there was a ridiculous number of people who were invited as individuals, without their husbands/wives/fiances etc. Despite this, when my SO went to the wedding (which I was fine with), he came home saying there had been 3 empty tables that the bride and groom had paid for and quite a few people were upset that their dates still hadn’t been allowed to come because of there not being “room”. It was just a huge breach of etiquette all around. I think in this situation, talking to the Fiance is great but ultimately in my situation, I found it easier (on the outside at least!) to just keep the peace and let it go.

Post # 25
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, what an awkward situation.. we haven’t had that happen!  I would def. call and check!

Post # 26
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well, I was invited to a wedding he wasn’t invited to, and he still comments on it when that girl comes up.  I’m not sure why he wasn’t invited, but none of us girls were allowed dates, so oh well… 🙁

It’s rude, but there’s not much you can do.  Some people are just thinking about the $$ or whatever other guest list issue they have.  I just try to remember that it’s not out of malice, although I admit it would be harder in your case since you said it’s a mutual friend.   Idk, no advice here..

Post # 27
13564 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The fact alone that your Fiance is in the wedding party means he should get a date. The fact alone that you’re engaged indicates you should be invited. Combined, he should be able to bring you, hands down.

My Fiance was invited to a wedding that I was not invited to. He did not appreciate the couple excluding me, and he declined the invitation.

Post # 28
4384 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is there an update? Did your invite magically appear or did your Fiance ask about it? I still can’t believe this actually happened lol.

Post # 29
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This happened to me a few years ago and the situation still bothers me a little. MY Fiance was invited to a close college friend’s wedding and I was not. At the time we had been dating about 6-7 months, but were definately serious about each other.

Now 2.5 years later we are good friends with this couple and they will both be at our wedding. I honestly think the bride does not remember that I was not invited to her wedding because she will talk about it like I was there!

Post # 30
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe they didn’t know?! Or maybe their mom address the envelopes or something?!

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