(Closed) Has anyone not invited your future in-laws to the wedding and survived?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not exactly the same situation, but my sister-in-law (my brother’s wife) declined the invitation to my wedding, despite the fact that her husband, my brother, is giving me away.  This apparently is due to some beef she has with my mom, from years ago. I’ve got no part in their drama but her refusal to come to my wedding has pretty much destroyed our relationship and I don’t really think I will bother getting over it.

Post # 4
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

As long as Darling Husband realizes he will really hurt his relationship with his family and in the process will destroy yours with them.

Despite it being his decision, they will likely blame you because the immediate family always gets less blame. The “outsider” usually carries more of it and since your not a child there isnt a real incentive to make nice.

Post # 5
Member
4979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

My Future Mother-In-Law won’t be invited to the wedding, but FH doesn’t want to have any kind of relationship with her so it’s not a big deal. 

I agree with ThreeMeers, if you want to have any kind of relationship with them, invite them. You don’t have to involve them in anything, but invite them.  

Post # 7
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We will not be inviting my Future Father-In-Law but he left his family years ago and does not make a real effort to stay in contact with his children. He was at my FBIL’s wedding 6 years ago and it was not a pleasant experience for anyone… especially Future Mother-In-Law and we don’t want to put her through that again. 

 

It’s actually a relief that Fiance finally decided to cut his father out for good. It’s a big part of the reason why we’re still not married after almost 8 years. He had been hoping to patch up the relationship with his father before we got married.

 

 

Post # 8
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I didn’t invite my mother. My family knows of our rough relationship and we all chose not to focus on it. I’m still happily married. It’s really your fiance’s decision, since it’s his family. If it’s his wish, you should support him.

Post # 9
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee

My SO’s mom threatened not to come if we don’t have it in a church. We aren’t having it in a church…so…I guess that saves me the trouble of not inviting her.

Post # 10
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Picture her doing this when she realizes she is not invited…

Post # 11
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think by the time most people are not inviting parents the relationship is so fraught it doesn’t matter.  We did not invite Father-In-Law, but to be honest he is a psychopath and Darling Husband is estranged from him.  I did not feel one ounce of sadness over it.  I wanted his mom and the rest of his family there, and I knew that Father-In-Law would make everyone uncomfortable. 

Determine what type of relationship you want to have with these people, and what type you think they are capable of having. If you are asking this question, then they prolly should not be invited.

It worked out great for us!

Post # 13
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that’s really selfish.

Post # 15
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@karebear1913:  You don’t even know the story of why she feels ths way.  

How do you know its selfish?

Post # 16
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@axeyourmakeupkit:  Agree. The parent could be abusive.

@karebear1913:  You never know someone else’s story. If that’s the case, I whole-heartedly endorse not inviting the parent.

 

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