(Closed) Has anyone not invited your future in-laws to the wedding and survived?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is one of the main reason we are eloping.

Obviously that’s not helpful to yu, but there are so any people out there who can definitely empathize.

Post # 4
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My fiance’s brother’s wife (FSIL?) just got herself officially uninvited to our wedding. She’s always been passive aggressive towards me and this past Saturday at a wedding I finally asked her what her deal was. Her response was, “you wanna know what my problem is- i never wanted you to marry Fiance.” I was obviously shocked and hurt, ended up crying (we had also been drinking). My Future Brother-In-Law dragged her out of tingredient and sent her home.

FIs entire family found out what she said and now she is on the family’s sh*t list. In a way I’m happy she said it because it just confirms what I have always suspected – that she’s a jealous bitter sociopath and now the family knows too. 

Needless to say, she will NOT be at our wedding. We only want those that support and love us in attendance. And when people ask why she’s not at the wedding I will happily explain to them the situation and what she said. 

Post # 5
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I tried…but my Fiance get cold feet at the last minute and told her all the info. He won’t do that again. If you think they will ruin your day, don’t let them be there.

Post # 6
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012


I don’t want my in-laws at my wedding either but sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.

-One is bringing kids (we didn’t want kids at our reception or ceremony)

-Another one may or may not be coming but bless our hearts we have to include them in our total head count in the “event” that they come. Awesome.

-His sister is a self -entitled snob who looks down on everybody (can’t WAIT to meet her)

-None of them have any interest in speaking to members of my family and will pretend not to know english when pressed.

Good times for all!




Post # 7
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

sigh, i am SO sorry – i totally understand all of your pain!  we have a strained relationship (and i use strained as an understatement!) with my in-laws.  so my hubby and i were married at city hall (just us) and the plan was to then have a large ceremony and reception in the town i grew up in with my family and friends and then have a smaller ceremony and reception here where we live that his family would have been invited to.  so we planned the big, out of town wedding and my Mother-In-Law invited herself!  she used the excuse that she would come to take care of our daughter bc we might be too busy to do so (first, our daughter is not a baby, so she doesn’t need constant care and second, she’s my daughter – i am pretty sure i know how to take care of her, even in stressful or hectic situations!).  so after the Mother-In-Law invited herself (and had the NERVE to call my parents and invite herself to stay at their house!) then my sister in law found out and it went from there.  so we ended up having a lot of his fam at the out of town wedding but we had already planned the in town wedding too (which his elderly grandparents were coming to) so we went ahead with those plans, arranging for 30 people to be present.  my mil and fil ended up inviting WAY more people that they didn’t tell me about and my maid of honor had to run out after the ceremony and before the reception and by more booze and general snacks (our in town wedding was a late night, wine and cheese and appetizer receptions, followed by a dessert bar and wedding cake, luckily we had more than enough dessert stuff!)  so we ended up having some wonderful delicious appetizers that were made by the caterers and then cheese and crackers and chips and salsa (which are fine, but weren’t in the same vein as our very elegant, formal wedding) so we could feed everyone.  it was very stressful and my Mother-In-Law also talked loudly and often during the whole thing about how i was a spoiled brat for having 2 weddings anyway (hey, i paid for both myself!) and at the end i finally pulled her aside privately and told her that it would have been worth many more thousands of dollars if she would just shut up and stop talking trash about me at my own wedding and if she disliked me so much then why did she crash both my weddings????  she hasn’t called the house once since then – she calls my hubby’s cell or my daughter’s cell and leaves me alone – i couldn’t be happier!  do what works for you and good luck!  remember, it’s your day and people are there for you, not the in laws!

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