Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Henry Ford Museum
I heard it all the time- in fact, 6 months after the wedding, I still hear it sometimes. Complete strangers will see my ring and say ‘Aren’t you too young to be married?’ (In their defense, I look a lot younger than I am- still doesn’t excuse the comments in my opinion, and I hear it from people I know too.)
Post # 17
No strangers have told me I’m too young, but interestingly, I have two circles of friends. One group everyone is married and is on kid #1, 2 or 3 by now. To them, at age 27, I’m old to be “just” getting married.
My other group of friends work at the university with me and they’re mostly in their 30’s and some are married, most are not – none have kids. To them, I’m super young for getting married at 27.
Seeing both sides makes me realize everyone is different and I’m going to do what I want and what makes sense for us. It’s all relative. I personally think we are getting married at the perfect age 😉
Post # 18
memo: not about marriage. I’m 26 and Fiance and I will both be 27 in June and are getting married in September and people have told me I’m too young to start having kids. I just ignore them. We’ll have kids when we are ready which might be right after the wedding or maybe years from now.
Everyone had an opinion. I think I hear the kind of you’re too young stuff from older people who got married young because that was the way it was done, and then never “found themselves” and got lost in some unhappy marriages and couldn’t leave because divorce was unheard of.
Post # 19
Yup….Im 26 got engaged at 25….and yeah i hear it….mainly from people who are bitter about love *these same people tell people in their mid 30s they are too young to get married/are ruining their lives….*, and from people who dont realise im 26…most of tme they think im like 22 tops…and Fiance looks about 23-25 ish…instead of 27….so yeah we get it until they hear how old we are and how long weve been together….then occasionally we get the “ohh you should break up and date more people to be sure…..” because apparently if you dont date 50 people in your 20’s before getting engaged your making a mistake….i just laugh roll my eyes and say thank you for the opinion but we will figure it out for ourselves….
i just keep telling myself opinions are like a$$****s and everyone has one and they usually stink
Post # 20
kansas_nurse: ya that’s so weird. Break up with the guy you are happy with, sleep around, then get back together and get married. That won’t cause any issues in your relationship and will make you much more happy!! Trust me, I’m older than you
Post # 21
Not exactly, but I have had people ask if we are expecting. Not at this stage though, I would be big by now if that were the case. People just thought we hadn’t been dating long enough, I suppose. I don’t really mind if people think we’re too young. I always joke about being a child bride despote being 22. We just knew it was right, so what’s the point of waiting?
Post # 22
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
I am asked often by my boss (in his late 60s) if I’m sure I’m ready for it… I’m 27, the same age he was when he got married- they’re still together and happy!
FI’s second cousin also called me a “child bride” recently, so I’m guessing there’s some concern there too…
Post # 23
LittleE3: haha yeah….thats what i thought….I was just like thanks but no thanks….yes i get that we have dated each other our entire adult lives to this point….but i really dont think sleeping around and trying out other guys would make my marriage more successful! I just shook my head….but the main person who said that is VERY VERY bitter….she (essentially got pregnant on purpose ie. lied about being on the pill, and taking precautions after the condom broke so her now ex husband would marry her at 18) is recently divorced in her 30s and if anyone has a healthy relaionship she tries very hard to talk them out of it because her ex got sick of her crap and served her with the big D papers…so i dont listen to her….lol….but seriously i hope no one EVER listens to her advice….lol….smile and shake your head is kinda my motto!
Post # 24
Yes, and then at 26 it all changed. The attitude was more like “you’re running out of time!!!” The 180 is beyond bizarre.
Post # 25
I’m 25, and I highly doubt any of my family or friends will give me the “too young” comments when SO finally pops the question. I’m the last of my cousins on either side of my family to get into a serious relationship and will be among the last to get married, at the rate everyone else is racing down the aisle. Between my marriage-happy family and my friends who have known about my relationship since the beginning, I’m pretty sure they’ll all be saying, “About freaking time!” Haha!
But then, I called my godfather yesterday to catch up, and true to form, he was saying, “Now just wait another year at least before you think about getting married!” I’m pretty sure he was half-joking, though…I hope… I want SO to propose this year if at all possible!
Post # 26
kansas_nurse: that advice was given to me in early college when I was dating my high school boyfriend for 4 years and began thinking about a future. We ended up breaking up but I’m marrying the 2nd serious relationship I’ve ever had (I had one or two randon dates in between the two) we ended up breaking up but I never understood “date around and get back together” either stay together if you wanna stay together or that isn’t the person you should marry!
Post # 27
no.. i think most friends wish they were getting married vs. waiting for their bfs to make up their minds..
Post # 28
Actually, I’m 26 and just got engaged and have gotten reactions from opposite spectrums. My family’s Chinese, and just “happy that I’m getting married before I’m too old and no one wants me”. On the other hand, my American friends feel that I should probably have a long engagement so that I can “think about it to be sure I’m sure.”
Post # 29
Well my BF’s sister got engaged recently (she’s 23 and her Fiance is 25) and most people I know got really judgmental because she’s “too young”.
The funniest thing is that some of my closest relatives (including my mother) totally freaked out thinking that my boyfriend and I would want to get engaged as well.
We have been a couple for 8 years, I’m 25 and he is 24. So what if we want to? That’s our life and our choice. I don’t get why people think they always know better than you do.
On the other hand, people I work with can’t understand the reason why we won’t get engaged already. *sigh*
Post # 30
I’ve only gotten that from people who don’t realize how old I am (I’m 29). Or I’ll say that we’ve been together for 10 years and they ask if we started dating in middle school or something… when I say no, I was 19 when I met him, they do the math and go “ohhhhh!!!”
I don’t know why some people think I’m so young. I have noticeable grey hairs for fuck’s sake!
I do think it’s pretty normal for people to question marriage when you don’t have much experience, because most people assume that if you haven’t spent your 20s getting your heart broken, then you haven’t grown enough as a person to “know what you want” or have relationship skills. It’s basically the same mentality that people have when they think of buying a car– you need to do your research so you can make an informed decision. But that analogy doesn’t always work with human beings because people change and everyone is different– some habit that may have been successful in one relationship won’t necessarily apply in the next. Studies have shown that very young marriages and premarital pregnancies are associated with unsuccessful marriage, but when these factors are controlled for, the amount of dating you’ve done, sexual history, and courtship length have no significant effect 🙂