Has anyone opened their marriage/relationship after monogamy?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Was opening your relationship a good or bad thing in the long run?
    I have never been in an open relationship. : (62 votes)
    90 %
    Mostly a good thing : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Mostly a bad thing : (6 votes)
    9 %
    Too soon to tell : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    4866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My brother and his wife did. This went on for years. They were openly poly from the beginning, and both agreeable and transparent about it. They would bring other women into the relationship cooperatively. Eventually the new girl would want more claim in the relationship. Inevitably they would break up with the other girl. They kept their relationship the priority despite the steady flow of other women. It’s important to note that this was not just sexual. These were committed relationships. 

    Then they brought in a girl who brought down the house. She was a lot of things his wife was not, very manipulative and my brother started finding everything wrong with his marriage and the whole grass is greener thing … well, 

    obviously many things contributed to their divorce. But they kept this lifestyle up for near a decade. In the end, he’s now single and the dating pool for people interested in that lifestyle is very small. From an insider looking in, they really tried the have rules and prioritize the marriage. I think you have to be prepared that even the most well intended approach to this open relationship thing can end very badly no matter how level headed or dedicated you are. Is the risk worth it? 

    Post # 3
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee

    HappySky7 :  So they only brought in women? No men? That seems to be how most open relationships are…

    Post # 4
    Member
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I never have  because I’m a monogamous hippopotamus but I think it’s one of those things that would only work if you are both truly poly. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1190 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Nope – I don’t share. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2712 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    catapple : yes,  rather one sided…

    Eta a friend’s parents did this with another friend couple.  Her father eventually ended up leaving her mom for the other woman. Mother was bitter for a long time.  My friend and her sisters are fucked up from it. Trying to hide the parents’ relationships at school and around her friends with this woman and man sleeping over , the moms bitterness etc. Of course your milage may vary!

    Post # 7
    Member
    4866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    catapple :  yes. She was into men and women…he was only into women. I suspect she was going along with this situation to please him but that’s a whole ‘nother thing in that debacle. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee

    I know a few couples who did this because of sexual issues (in two situations one person in the relationship was close to asexual and another was bi-sexual) so that seemed to work for them. I also know a few couples where this failed miserably – even with set boundaries and both parties willing. I think it depends on your situation as to whether or not you could make it work.

    Post # 9
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    emeraldbee :  That’s what I tell my husband, that I don’t share, if he brings a woman home I’m keeping her to myself! (we’re both straight and monogamous).

    Post # 10
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    What’s mine, is just that … MINE! 😜

    To each their own. 

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