(Closed) Has anyone regretted their elopement and wished they had a traditional wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Elope or Traditional Wedding

    Elope! Have a post elopement party after!

    Traditional Wedding!

    Tiny Ceremony and Reception and have a party for family back East

    None of the Above. Tell me what you think!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    View original reply
    wildflowergypsy :  Nice to hear you made a decision! That’s half the battle πŸ˜› Sounds lovely, and sounds like it suits your needs perfectly. There is no right or wrong way to get married, and there’s nothing worse than doing something just because you think you have to do it that way. Happy planning πŸ™‚

    Post # 33
    Member
    9703 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    btob17 :  

    Historically  elopements have been just  that, no guests, or just maybe  a friend each .  The bride and groom ‘ran away ‘ for various reasons, usually because of parental/family  disapproval . Kidnapping and rape,  while not unknown,  were more likely  to be a problem  in the case of orphaned  heiresses etc .

    Disparate fortunes were a common reason for  disapproval or the bride being  underage, hence the famous Gretna Green elopements of past centuries , Scotland having very relaxed rules back  then about  parental  consent and age etc.  

    Now the  term  seems to have become (incorrectly) a synonym for  “small private wedding” .  

    Post # 34
    Member
    1709 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

    I wouldn’t consider it being ‘Elopement’ for us. We had a small ceremony before church started just two days ago. Glad I married the love of my life, but with certain circumstances, I do wish I waited just a bit longer. I bought this gorgeous dress that’s still sitting in storage. I just may plan a ceremony with me walking down the aisle in my dress. May not. It depends on where we’ll be in a year from now. πŸ™‚Β 

    Post # 35
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    My Fiance and I eloped last year and a part of me regrets it – not the actual weekend itself. we didn’t tell a soul and had a wonderful romantic time just the two of us. It was the guilt afterwards that got to me having not told my family and lying to everyone for months. We tried to keep it a secret but because he’s in the military word got out and we ended up having to tell everyone.

    It is great being married and we joke that we are at least working out our marital issues before we have the wedding, because after all the marriage is a lot more important than the wedding.

    Saying that, part of me doesn’t “really” feel married, because we did it in such privacy- I am also very social and have a big family. I’m the first sibling to get married in my family.

    We’re now trying to plan our “real” wedding for next year and having a disastrous time with planning and coordinating even our immediate family together at the same time (they are spread all over the globe). One positive is that I feel a lot less pressure to adhere to traditions for this celebration because we are already legally married.

    So I think you should do what suits you- it sounds like you already may think you will regret an elopement because of your childhood dreams of being a bride. Everyone is different – I think you have lots of great ideas for coming to a compromise which will suit you, your fiance and your families. One option is having a small ceremony for your immediate family followed by a larger party for everyone. I know how hard it is with family spread all over the place!

    I have never heard of people thinking that a post-ceremony party is only thrown for the presents! That is pretty funny! At the end of the day you’ll never keep everyone happy, I think it will be nice to include your immediate family, but the most important people are you and your Fiance, so do what will make you two the happiest! πŸ™‚

    Post # 36
    Member
    1984 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Do a small traditional wedding. You sound like you would regret not having a wedding. You can’t go back once you’re already married and try to do the whole wedding thing (well you can but many think it’s tacky & gift grabby af. ). Of course there will be those who encourage to only please yourself, ignore etiquette,do what you want. The good news about following that advice is no matter what you do, you’re unlikely to have anything negative said to you. (That usually just goes on behind your back!) haha

    Congrats on your engagement bee!

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