Post # 1
I have the opportunity to take a new position with my current company, working under my current boss, but I would be required to relocate. My boss and I are meeting next week to talk through the details (what exactly the job would entail, salary, timeframe for moving) but I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through this. Are there questions you wished you had known to ask in advance? Any regrets about how it affected your career or your personal life?
Some additional info if it helps: it’s about 4 hours from where we live now, very near where Fiance grew up. His mom actually used to live there up until last year, so we have visited it together several times and and he does have friends in the area. We would also be much closer to his extended family, but a lot further from my family and most of our friends.
Obviously there are a lot of factors to consider: FI’s job, how this move would impact my career, adjusting to living in a smaller city, moving while planning a wedding…it’s making me a little crazy. Has anyone else done this?!
Post # 3
I don’t really have any advice, but I sympathize. We may be relocating next spring (DH’s job) but will only know in the fall if this will happen. Neither of us really wants to move, but it may be the right move for him professionally. I feel like my life is in limbo right now and I can’t make any long-term plans. We want to TTC but can’t really until we know where we will be living. The difficult part is that I have my DREAM job right now in our city (elementary teacher) and those jobs are very few and far between in the rest of Canada, so I would have to either take many steps backwards and go back to supply teaching or make the decision to stay at home (which would be very difficult as I love working and having my salary allows us to live comfortably).
Sorry i can’t be more help -my best advice would be to look at all circumstances with your FI’s career in mind as well!
Post # 4
This is one of those decisions that only you can make because only you know the details (what will they pay for in the move, who you know there, whether the distance to family is too much etc).
We will be moving next year for DH’s job and likely at least one more time, but to us its worth it for a number of reasons. The progression of his career and the money he will make is really great in this company. I can find a job doing what I do in that area (there are lots of company’s for me to apply to). The move would take us closer to family.
Its not our ideal location, but we have to decide whats most important and for us being nearer to family (4 hour drive instead of across country) and the fact that we would be able to retire relatively early and comfortably is motivation enough.
Post # 5
I relocated for a job to a different city and state. Not to be Debbie Downer but I only lasted 8 months– not because of the move but because the job atmosphere changed so much. BUT, I stayed in that city, made new friends, met Darling Husband, got a new and better job and life is fab. It was very tough at first– and I was scared to death but it’s totally do-able and especially being close to your SOs family will help!
Post # 6
@missbeachbum: How frustrating! I totally agree with you that we need to consider how this will impact both our careers. Right now it looks like the job market for his skillset looks pretty good, but we’re not taking that for granted.
@ThreeMeers: I understand what you’re saying. Mostly I’m looking for advice on approaching this situation, not asking whether I should move (because you’re right, only Fiance and I can answer that). We’re definitely considering what’s most important for us in the long run.
@Mrs_Amanda: Was it something that you could have foreseen in advance? I.e., were there expectations with the job that were different than what you thought you were going to be doing, or was it more that it was a culture change?
Post # 7
@bellasperanza: What I would do that may help is make a list of things to consider and write it all out so you can see it in black and white. And play the “What if game”
What if he cant find a job? What if you hate your new job? Having some sort of relative plan in place can help make the decision. And sometimes, you just have to jump and trust that it will work out with some hard work.
How will this move affect you in 1 year and in 5? Is it better long term or only for the short term?
You have some friends there already, but what is your plan if you want to make new/different friends? Are their classes or clubs you can join to get out and meet people? What other stuff exists there you might love? Museums, festivals, concert halls, good dining etc. These are things that can really affect how much you like a new place.
Post # 8
@bellasperanza: A lot of it was personality related. I went from an environment that was very friendly/ close to a more hostile and toxic environment. Also- some company policies changed right around the 5 month mark of my new job and since I wasn’t upper management, I wasn’t in the ” know”. I didn’t ask around or take into consideration the company morale at the new job… Which wound up being paramount in importance to other thing I considered before moving.
Post # 9
@bellasperanza: I know just what you are going through. I relocated about 8 months ago far away from where I had lived my whole life for a job. I was very fortunate to have my bf (of then 4 years) come with me. Like everyone said, this is a decision you need to make together…and just you two! We made the mistake of asking our families and it just made a bigger mess. His family had the idea that he would stay behind at his job until he found a new job near me (which, as a business man, usually wouldnt work). So my first piece of advise is to keep most of the discussion between you and him: its already complicated enough without adding MORE opinions. haha
As far as if you move, we looked at it as an adventure. We drove 3 days to get to our new living place and made sure to stop and laugh at as many things along the way. Once we got to the city we were living, we explored the area together and tried so many new things. New foods, new festivals, new shops…it was like unwrapping a gift together! We are not sure if we are going to stay here forever, but we at least are trying to make the best of it while we are here. 🙂
Post # 10
In about 10 months Fiance and I will be relocating for his job. As of now we have no clue where we will be but we are both extremely excited. There is so much out there and we hate to be limited to where we were raised and where we’ve gone to school. We actually are spending the summer across the country for his internship and are loving the experience. When we relocate for good I will be starting a masters program so I don’t have to worry about finding a job – so I can understand why that would be stressful. All in all I say embrace the opportunity!
Post # 11
@ThreeMeers: Funny you mention the “what if”…we’ve been writing a list of questions and a lot of them are along those lines. What happens if I outgrow the position in 5 years? What if we DON’T move–how will my current role evolve over the next few years? What happens when we have kids? Etc etc etc. Kind of overwhelming but I know that thinking through these things will help us feel more confident about whatever we decide.
@Mrs_Amanda: Gotcha. So not something that could have been predicted but something to think about…especially since most of the people I would be working with on a daily basis do not work for my company at all.
@awolfpaw: I like what you said about making it an adventure! As scary as it is to think about moving, I am kind of excited to think about getting to explore a new place, meet new people, decorate a new house…if we do decide to move, I think focusing on those positives will help a lot with the transition.
@sundevil2013: It’s true, it’s easy to stick with the familiar but you never know what else you might find until you get out there, right? BTW–one of my best friends lives in Phoenix 🙂
Post # 12
Make sure you are 100% clear on the relocation compensation. It can be very complicated and have a lot of red tape with most companies.