(Closed) Has anyone written their own vows for a Catholic/Episcopal Wedding?!

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hmm… have you looked at the Together for Life book and the vows they list there? It talks about writing your own vows, and (I may be totally incorrect– my memory is a bit fuzzy on this) but I thought I remember it had a [very limited] option for writing your own vows in there. I’d start there, then talk to your priest again after you look into it more.

Another thought–Will you have an Episcopalian minister participating in the ceremony as well? My priest told another couple (a Catholic-Muslim couple) that for the marriage to be valid in the eyes of the Church, the Catholic priest must hear the vows… but maybe the Episcopalian minister can hear the vows you write and the Catholic priest can hear the Catholic vows?

Post # 4
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

What about exchanging the vows you write for each other at the reception, during the toasts portion? They are kind of like toasts to each other.

Post # 7
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I personally love saying the traditional vows that you have in the Catholic ceremony.  Maybe it’s just me but sometimes, I find writing my own vows to be a bit too personal to share in front of everyone.  Instead, I’m going to write them and give them to my fiance the day of the wedding. Then it’s something between us.

Post # 8
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

It’s definitely a no-no to write your own vows, the Together for Life book makes a big stink about it. I would definitely suggest either incorporating your vows in the reception or else tweaking them to be used as a prayer for the Prayer of the Couple. I think they would make a beautiful prayer!

In My Humble Opinion when couples write their own vows they have to be careful or sometimes it comes off a wee bit cheesy. And I’m sure some of your guests might feel that way, too, a little bit. The vows the priest wants you to use are timeless. If you look at it that way it might make it an easier pill to swallow.

Post # 9
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would just advise you to not misrepresent this being some sort of Episcoplian tradition if it’s not (to the priest).

Post # 10
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i know this is old but i am going through the same sad realization right now… i am recently engaged and my Fiance is all about the catholic ceremony since it makes our families happy and it’s how he always pictured things. my top priority is marrying him so i said OK, but this no vows thing is really hitting me hard.

out of curiosity, how did things go for you?? did you wish you had done the vows or did it not matter in the end?

Post # 11
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think a great option is to write one another a letter to receive the morning of the wedding– it’s a little more personal and private, but you can say your own vows to one another that way.

Post # 12
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Auds424: I’d really recommend picking up a copy of the book “Wing to Wing, Oar to Oar.”  There is a section there is brief commentary of the history and nature of wedding vows.  It has pretty much all the traditional vows from every major religion and then compares those with samples and suggestions of vows from books on advise on writing your own vows.  Reading that might give you a clearer idea as to why writting your own vows is inappropriate and may be much easier to understand.  I read the book when I was engaged and out of all the books I read during my engagement it was one of the most valuable.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Wing-Oar-Readings-Courting-Marrying/dp/0268019606

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