Has Covid-19 Impacted Your Plans to TTC?

posted 3 weeks ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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@bgumby: If you have time to wait then you could certainly do so, but there are no guarantees that things will be better or back to normal by the end of your waiting period. 

My perspective is that of someone who started trying almost 2 years ago and just now made it to the final stages of fertility treatment after many setbacks, with only the most recent one being COVID-19 -our IVF center closed mid-March, just before we were supposed to transfer an embryo. I just had my rescheduled frozen embryo transfer on Tuesday, so if it is successful then I will be due next March.

When our center reopened in May, my husband and I sat down and discussed the pros and cons of moving forward with treatment. Our decision to move forward was based on the fact that time is not on our side (my husband just turned 49) and that this virus isn’t going anywhere for a while, so we’re just going to have to experience parenthood in this new normal. It’s far from ideal and I certainly feel a bit robbed of certain experiences that we planned on having during the pregnancy, but at the end of the day, we’ve been wanting to start our family for the longest time now and we’ll be grateful to have our baby when it’s all said and done. 

Post # 3
Member
10387 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We are planning to start TTC in August. When this all started we did discuss postponing and were leaning more in that direction. Now we just feel like there’s no clear end to all this and we don’t want to put off our plans indefinitely. We don’t know how long it will take to actually get pregnant and if it takes longer than expected at this point I think we will regret waiting more than moving forward with our plans. 

It does help that I’m officially working from home through the end of December. I’m a college instructor and all my classes have been moved online for the fall. This dramatically reduces my interactions with others and thus my chances of contracting coronavirus.

We are both 30. We’ve been together 12 years, married for 4 and we feel very ready for this next step. The only thing really worrying us right now is that cases have started to spike in our area. So that’s what’s making us more 80-90% sure we are going ahead with our plans rather than 100% sure. Honestly, we probably won’t be completely decided either way until I’m finished with my last pack of birth control.

Post # 4
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Nope, we continued to TTC and conceived in late March. Honestly the minor disappointment of DH not coming to appointments (I could FaceTime him for ultrasounds) is hugely overshadowed by how excited we are to be parents. We do live in Canada though which seems to have a relatively good handle on the virus as of now. I would be more concerned if we were living in an area where the cases were still rising.

Post # 5
Member
7129 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

So, I just had my second baby a week and a half ago, so COVID shutdowns hit right before my third trimester. For anyone who is going to try to have a baby, my biggest word of advice would be to ADVOCATE for yourself. As a FTM, I could see how one wouldn’t know what that would entail… But you’ll be missing a lot of in-person visits, a lot of conversations I would have had with Midwives about fundal height, blood pressure, and skin reactions/medications were completely forgotten about or glazed over due to the constant changes with COVID (hospital policies, visitors policies, etc). Ask for a blood pressure cuff for at home. If something doesn’t seem right, call. Ask what you should be looking for at home that they would check for in the office.

When it came to giving birth and postpartum, this was even more important. They had me out in 24 hours, which was great! But my pump was never ordered, my prescriptions for Motrin and the stool softener were never sent to the pharmacy. My daughter’s pediatrician’s office made me come at 36 hours postpartum ALONE to be the one carrying the carseat in even though you’re not supposed to lift anything heavier than the baby. I wasn’t screened for PPD, and the hospital didn’t call and check on me until yesterday. They also didn’t ask if I wanted an LC in the hospital.

Additionally, the pediatrician’s office was also taking shortcuts. The pediatricians were also playing front office assistant and LC. At one point, she questioned if I was nursing correctly ???? I nursedy first for 14 months.  They sent me and my daughter back to the hospital 4 days postpartum to get bilirubin serum levels, something my husband could attend with us before…. Again, carrying the carseat completely around the hospital by myself.

Just be prepared for people to not hear you the first time and to have to advocate for yourself. Find a good moms’ group so you know what should be expected. You will be glazed over at some point.

Post # 6
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

It has, in a way. My husbands position renewal (paperwork that has to happen every few years) has been ground to a halt thanks to COVID, so we’re delaying on the off chance that something happens and he’s unemployed (we can’t afford to support two adults, two pets, and a kid on my salary). Odds are it’ll be fine but it’s just a big enough risk that we’re too nervous to jump in quite yet (him more so than me, since I’m a “everything works out in the end!” kind of person, but since this is a two-person gig, it makes sense to defer to the waiter. We should get some sort of final answer any time between 8 am tomorrow and early August.

Originally, we’d planned to start in May. I have short cycles, so we actually just passed my third fertile window that we ended up preventing thanks to all this. It sucks. But, we aren’t going to let COVID itself prevent our plans once the job aspect works itself out. Our area is seeing more cases, but if I get pregnant before the end of the year, I should be able to keep working from home. My practice has been adamant about allowing partners to attend appointments (big appointments happen at the main office, but then you have the option to go to the tiny satellite office if you’re low-risk), and your partner plus certified doula are allowed to attend the birth because the hospital my providers are out of view certified doulas as a part of the medical team, not as visitors. No visitors, which sucks because I’d want my mom there, and for my in-laws to come do the traditional hospital visit, but that’s not reason enough to delay (especially considering that even if we were successful right away, March/April is likely to be after a vaccine and reliable treatments have been established, meaning everything could be different.) 

I’m already staying home and socially distancing, so nothing would change there!

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Melbourne, Australia

In a way, yes. Not because of being concerned about the virus itself (obviously I am concerned, and we are taking all the necessary precautions to keep us and people we are in contact with safe – we are in Australia and it is generally going okay here with the virus situation), but because of how it has impacted our employment and financial stability as a result of my workplace closing and my husband’s work being severely impacted too 🙁

Post # 8
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

nope, we started TTC in October. We’ve been together 13 years and spent a long time getting to the point of being ready to TTC. As another bee said, I’m in Canada, and it hasn’t hit as bad as other places. I’m always careful, I wear a mask and I’m not “expanding my bubble” even though we’re technically aloud to now. I’m not really concerned about getting Covid as long as I’m careful. Technically, the precautions should also prevent the flu, which is also a risk for pregnant women too

Post # 9
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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@bgumby:  I just brought up this conversation with my husband this afternoon. Our plan to TTC was when our son turned 2, which is in October of this year. When I first heard of the coronavirus, I never dreamed this is the situation the entire world would be in… I naively thought it would blow over so we never discussed it impacting our TTC plan. Now, COVID is here to stay and I don’t even know what to do. On the one hand, I’d like to start trying as planned before I turn 30 since my first pregnancy was rough. On the other hand, it is dangerous to be a black woman in the delivery room solo in the US hospital system. Obviously, I’m fortunate to have more fertile years ahead but this situation is undoubtedly stressful for anybody who was planning to expand their family in the near future. Do we put our lives on hold because of COVID? I’m not sure if I’ve decided just yet.

Post # 10
Member
7270 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, Covid definitely impacted my plans…but more from a work perspective. I’ve definitely been on the fence about having a second kid, and was leaning towards “no”, but DH really wants a second kid. We were in the discussions about it all but because of our jobs we work with a limited window of months to have a baby. My window just closed because one of my clients moved her wedding to a date that would be too close to a potenital due date if we decided to go ahead and TTC. 

Aside from that, the actual delivery process doesn’t worry me. I have several friends who have had babies during the shutdown and aside from no hospital visitors (and of course at the doctors office) the actual deliveries were business as usual for them. I’m actually not as concerned about hospital visitors, as sweet as it is to have people come meet the baby at the hospital that’s not a deal breaker for me. I delivered at a hospital 1.5 hrs away so only my parents and our best friends came to visist which was totally fine with me.  I would be incredibly bummed to not have a photographer there. For my friends the hardest part was no visitors once they got home, but I do feel that is letting up some as immediate families are starting to mingle again.

I’ve gone through a few range of emotions since this started. I initally didn’t find it to be too serious, and was still traveling internationally when it broke in the US. I arrived home with DH & DS about a week before the official shutdown. During lockdown I did take it seriously and we isolated and did primarily grocery pickup and didn’t go into any stores. Now things are opening back up, many of us are back to work, and there is a surge (which we all suspected would happen) but I just believe we can’t continue to put our lives 100% on hold. That being said I do believe it just has a lot to do with each family personally. I’m thankful to work from home, and can continue to do my job without needing daycare and only needing a babysitter for days I have a session or wedding. If I was an essential worker who relied on daycare I’d maybe reconsider because I’m not totally sure I’d be ready to send my child back to that kind of a setting right now. I’m actually still waiting to see how it all plays out by September when my toddler is slated to go back to preschool.

Post # 11
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee

Yes and it’s really starting to annoy me. I’m about to turn 35 and my husband is 39. For us the fear is job security more than Covid related health risks. We were planning to start ttc #2 around now, but we have massive job insecurity due to Covid. We feel like the ax will fall at any moment and could even lose our health insurance. I hate being in limbo like this and unable to really plan for our future but it doesn’t feel like a wise decision to intentionally TTC right now given all this uncertainty with our income and health insurance. Ughhh. 

Post # 12
Hostess
4152 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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@bgumby:  Yes.  We were planning to TTC earlier this year, when COVID hit and D.H. was laid off.  Between the virus and the employment concerns, we pushed it off.  Thankfully D.H. got a better job and our state has been handling things well and opening up very slowly, so we are planning to TTC in September.  D.H. and I are approaching our 13th anniversary this year and finally feel financially and emotionally ready for the next chapter, so we plan to start trying even if cases are going up again.  With my job, I also will likey receive a vaccine very shortly after it is available, which makes me feel better.  It is really stressful and the couple of months of back and forth “should we wait/should we go for it??” made me super emotional.  Now that we’ve made a decision, I feel a lot more calm about it and have accepted that if I get pregnant pre-vaccine, our experience will just be different than we expected.  

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