(Closed) Has pregnancy (or technology) changed your opinion on….

posted 10 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Has your opinion on abortion changed with pregnancy?

    I was pro-choice however pregnancy made my view points sway to or towards being pro-life

    I was pro-life before and am now even more committed to being pro-life

    I was pro-choice and my pregnancy in no way changed that

    I have come to regret my own abortion and that is what changed my view to or towards being pro-life

    It's complicated and I'll explain

    I've never been pregnant but technology has made me question my pro-choice views

    I've never been pregnant and technology has not made my pro-choice views change

    I just like answering polls / other

    I used to be pro-life and now due to pregnancy or technology I'm pro-choice

  • Post # 107
    Member
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @Missbliss: wonderful post =)

    Post # 108
    Member
    2187 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @MissHoneyBun:

    Not trying to argue, but I know some women who are very close to me that have gotten an abortion, and it still kills them every single day–and it has for years (even decades). Where as adoption, can be open. My best friend (my maid of honor actually) went from foster home to foster home, and stayed in some nasty, run down shelters and she is an amazing person because of her experiences. Very down to earth and real. I know that is not the case for most foster children (however-I have met a few who have benefited from foster homes). I think abortion is just emotionally harder because you never got to see that little person have a chance in this world. But that is just me.

    When I got pregnant, I went to a clinic and thought mindlessly about getting an abortion. Which makes me sick to my stomach to say now, because I knew I would hate myself if I did it. But now I have a wonderful son who is mine and my fiance’s entire life. Even if we weren’t ready to be parents, we made it work. Which is also an emotional toll. But much better than aborting him, I think.

    Post # 109
    Member
    2828 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

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    @Missbliss:

    “I think that there is value that is far more significant than a woman’s discomfort for a short period in her life…”

    what you may view as a short period of discomfort could literally be a lifetime. If you are referring to women going through ‘discomfort’ in regards simply to pregnancy, I think you are a little off base in failing to consider rape, health (scroll up, another PP said they could DIE if they get pregnant) of the mother and child.

    While I do agree that it is tragic to lose that potential individual, there is nothing to be done about the past, nor the choices others make.

    OP:

    I grew up my entire life being told that I was unwanted, imperfect, a burden, a waste of human skin–by my own mother. She has numerous times in the past and even now in the present commented on how she wished she had had access to birth control or safe abortion when she was pregnant with me. Her attitude was and still is incredibly damaging. so much so to the point that at times in the past I had wished myself never born.

    I would not wish that treatment upon any other child. And while as an adult I may be able to justify (somewhat) her feelings (they were lower class, skimming the poverty line, didn’t have money for a third child..I had severe birth defects that were quite costly and put them under a mountain of debt etc) I still would not wish that uncaring attitude on any child. Ever. It is more terrible than you can ever imagine.

    Despite the fact that I would not be here today if my own mother had the same access to birth control, the same choices  as women today, I am still pro-choice.  While I may not sit easy with women using it as their only form of birth control, in the cases of rape, contraception failure, or the health of the mother/foetus, I am staunchly pro-choice.

    When my cousin’s wife was pregnant  at about 6months along, my cousin & his wife found out that their son, was unfortunately one of the few children that suffered from genetic anomalies and defects that would make life non-viable outside the womb. Yes he had a heartbeat, yes his parents loved him, wanted him and cried desperately when they received the news, but knowing that their son would not survive more than 24 hours outside the womb moved them to make the decision to abort, rather than suffer through those 24hours until his death;rather than suffer through the next 3 months agonising over the fact that they knew their son was going to die.

    eta: I am a parent. My pregnancy was unplanned due to contraceptive methods failing. Despite being broke, a student and it certainly NOT being the best time to have a child, I chose not to have an abortion for my own, personal reasons. It was a choice, and had it been rape, severe defects causing life for the child to be non-viable outside my body or had my health and well being been in jeopardy like a pp mentioned, I would have chosen otherwise.

     

    Post # 110
    Member
    5495 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think mine is complicated. I’ve never been pregnant, but I’m not really pro-choice, either. For me, it should only be an option if it would endanger the mother very early on.

    It’s kind of a weird view point, I suppose, but I’ve just always thought that way.

    Post # 111
    Member
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee

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    @Heatherloveskenny: How wonderful that we are able to make that choice for ourselves!

    Post # 112
    Member
    5147 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Those articles all say that it doesn’t increase the risk of a woman being diagnosed with a mental illness. “Emotional toll” isn’t the same as “mental illness”.

    (For me personally, I don’t think I could ever get over the guilt of killing an innocent baby, in existence because of my actions, just for my own convenience.)

    In my personal experience, which is admittedly quite small since I only know 1 woman that has had an abortion; it did take a huge emotional toll on her. Not every day, but ever year both around the time she had the abortion and the time the baby would have been due, she would just be completely out of it for about a week.
    Perhaps it’s because she already had kids, so she knew what she was throwing out; versus someone who doesn’t have other kids hasn’t ever felt that bond before.

     

     

    “When my cousin’s wife was pregnant  at about 6months along, my cousin & his wife found out that their son, was unfortunately one of the few children that suffered from genetic anomalies and defects that would make life non-viable outside the womb. Yes he had a heartbeat, yes his parents loved him, wanted him and cried desperately when they received the news, but knowing that their son would not survive more than 24 hours outside the womb moved them to make the decision to abort, rather than suffer through those 24hours until his death;rather than suffer through the next 3 months agonising over the fact that they knew their son was going to die.”

    This type of situation I’m completely okay with someone having an abortion. I probably would have done the same thing.

     

    Post # 113
    Member
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

    Very very (very very) strongly pro-choice, have never been pregnant and technology has not changed my views on this.

    I have to say, I after reading some of the responses on this thread and the lesbian wedding thread, I am really, really sad when I think about the judgement and hatred that has come out of it…

    Post # 114
    Member
    1205 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am firmly pro-choice. I have been through 3 pregnancies and technology has not changed my views.

    I placed a child for adoption when I was 18 – that was 13 years ago.  I know better than to believe that the choice I made is the best choice for other people. 

    Post # 115
    Member
    2825 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I am pro-choice and I will always be pro-choice, as it’s been stated by many other PP’s it is not MY place to say what someone else can do with their body.  I know someone who was more on the pro-life side of the arguement until she got pregnant… She was working two jobs, going to school full time for her masters degree and her parent’s wanted her to move out of their house even though she was barely making enough to get by… There was NO WAY she could see raising a baby in those conditions, she wrestled with the idea of an abortion and ultimately decided that was the best thing for her and the baby.  And even though it was hard she knows it was best… I don’t think ANYONE should be able to make that decision for anyone else.

    If unknown Sally Sue down the street gets an abortion it doesn’t directly affect you, so why should it matter what she chose?

    That said, I hate the pro-choice vs pro-life debates, the pro-life-ers always turn it into a life vs death debate, and that isn’t the case.  It’s a debate of a choice vs. no choice… As a PP has said, the issues isn’t black and white… so I feel like giving women NO CHOICE isn’t an option.  That is the problem with making abortion illegal, there are so many grey areas that you can’t pick one side or the other 100% of the time.

    You can still be pro-life and not get an abortion and encourage others to seek out other avenues, but you can’t be pro-choice when abortions are illegal.  Just a thought.

    Post # 116
    Member
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

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    @KLP2010: I just wanted to say, remember back in the day when we used to have hot topic issue threads all the time (like over a year ago), and everyone was civil, well researched, and respectful of each other? I remember the thread on gay marriage you are talking about. I have almost always had complete opposite opinions as you (just as in this case), and lots of times you were the only conservative voice during a discussion (not debate), but I always liked you because I thought your voice was at least always rational. I actually enjoy your comments becuase they would at least make me  think about the opposing view as my own, without making me feel attacked. I wish things would get back to that. I just avoid most of these threads now. 

    Post # 117
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

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    @Missbliss: I’m truly sorry to hear that your friend was forced to have an abortion. NO ONE should be forced. That is not a choice. As a pro-choice woman, I am horrified that she had to go through that. It IS, however, illegal to force someone to have an abortion. The doctors/nurses at the clinics are required to ask that question. (That’s not to say that your friend couldn’t have been too afraid of her parents’ reaction to come out & say that she was being forced, but just to point out that it’s NOT legal to force someone to abort.) Oh, and as for statistics, pregnancy is 13% more likely to KILL women than abortion is (and that’s not even counting the other complications pregnancy can cause).

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    @Kemma: Wow! That’s great that you have such good access to birth control in New Zealand. : ) Interestingly enough, the countries that have the best access to contraception, and the best comprehensive sex education systems, also have the lowest abortion rates. Like, REALLY low. It’s countries like the US, with their federally-funded abstinence-only sex education, and uncovered-by-insurance birth control (it regularly costs $300 for 3 months for the Pill), that have higher abortion rates.

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    @Heatherloveskenny: That’s great to hear that you have a good relationship with your son. And I am saddened to hear about your friends’ experiences with abortion. However, the most common emotion experienced after abortion is relief, so please don’t try to say that just because your friends felt one thing means that every woman would.

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    @abbyful: Well then, if you want to talk “emotional toll”, the emotion that MOST women face after an abortion is relief. “For most women, however, the time of greatest distress is likely to be before an abortion; after an abortion, women frequently report feeling ‘relief and happiness.'” (source: http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/gpr/09/3/gpr090308.html)

    Post # 118
    Member
    2738 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @trailmix: I don’t see hatred. I see judgment. But on both sides though.

     

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    @Jenniphyr: Honestly, I wish it would come to that. Why oh why is it that the access to prophylactics for pregnancy prevention is WOEFULLY lacking in this country? It is INSANE!! When I look at the rates of unintended and teen pregnancy from other countries, it gets me mad. We can do it. It’s just that the leaders have no political will to do it. Seriously, when I think of how much it costs for the pill or nuvaring if one has no insurance, it’s sickening. Of course if one is poor enough, you can qualify for federally funded programs that subsidize your prescriptions but you have to be really poor. As in, under $12k a year for one person kind of poor. RIDUNKULOUS!!

    Post # 119
    Member
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    Ok here is an honest questions for the pro-lifers on this thread. 

    Why do you think you can tell me (someone you have never met) what I can and cannot do with my body and whatever happens to be growing inside of it?

    Post # 120
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Nope. I love my daughter more than life itself, but I am pro choice. Always have been.

     

    Post # 121
    Member
    6391 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I used to be pro-life in high school, but now I’m adamently pro-choice. A lot of things led to the switch for me, but what really cemented it was attending a state senate committee hearing on what women are told before they can have an abortion. There was only one woman, and zero doctors voting on the measure. Most of the senators were politicians or lawyers their whole careers. One of the senators stood up and said he voted against the bill because he wasn’t a doctor, and he didn’t think they had the right to decide on something like that.

    Interestingly (to me, at least), a Jewish group spoke against the bill because they believe the soul enters a baby at birth [disclaimer: I’m not Jewish, so I don’t know if this is a universal belief or just one group’s!].

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