(Closed) Has someone assumed that they were invited?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did you encounter a situation where someone assumed that they would be invited to your wedding?
    Yes : (70 votes)
    89 %
    No : (8 votes)
    10 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    yep… we have a whole side of the family that isnt invited.. one cousin asked of our wedding plans and we just mentioned something about sept next year… i feel bad they are nice enough people to me but apparently there is BAD blood in my FH family and he doesnt want them there… well just have to find a polite excuse… youre keeping the wedding small to family only? its never easy…

    Post # 4
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Oh yeah! My best friend’s ex-girlfriend! When I invited him they were together, then 3 months after they broke up she posted all over Facebook about how excited she was because she bought plane tickets home for my wedding!

    Post # 5
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I was at a political event the other night ( I grew up in politics ), and half the people there were asking me when are we sending out invitations.  OMG I was really only planning on inviting a few close friends from politics.  Now, half the state is coming.  How do you tell someone so high up that they aren’t invited?  You don’t.  We are paying for the wedding ourselves.  My parents keep telling me it’s an honor, I keep thinking “How am I going to pay for all those extra people?” 

    Post # 7
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    An old friend of mine from college would call me and leave me voicemails saying she hadnt received her invitation yet and when could she expect it and when should she make travel arrangements. I actually had to tell her that she was not invited – it was awful!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3671 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I had an old friend from high school contact me to ask if she was invited.  I told her our budget was small and we had to keep everything simple.  She then proceeded to tell me that she thinks she should be invited because she’s pretty much the reason we met.  Yes, sort of.  But you also treated me like crap after I started dating him and were the reason our friendship ended (she asked these questions when we had talked a couple of times since high school, she said she missed hanging out with me).

    Post # 9
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I was just in a friend’s wedding this weekend (which took place in my home town) and I ran into a LOT of people who said they can’t wait until my wedding! Apparently, some of my friends from high school have parents that consider me their “second daughter” and are REALLY looking forward to attending our wedding. I was pretty shocked!! I hadn’t talked to some of these people in 10 years! Now I’m a little concerned about the guest list….it also doesn’t help that the bride in the wedding I was in invited ALL of the parents of the bridesmaids to the wedding…so now her parents are expecting an invite too! I’m just hoping they’ll be too lazy to actually make the drive to Cincinnati!! Otherwise, I’ll be saying “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!” everytime I get a “yes” RSVP! Another weird one… a gay friend of mine and all of the BMs at that same wedding actually complained in front of everyone at the wedding the he NEVER gets to be a part of anything because he’s a guy and would really like to be a part of my wedding party…he even invited himself up to our house for a weekend in the fall… just a LITTLE presumptious if I do say so myself!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I had a friend on FB say, “I better be invited.” Um, nope, sorry.

    Post # 11
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’ve had a couple of people assume that they’ll be invited. One girl keeps telling me to call her if I need help planning… and I really don’t even think we’ll be inviting her!

    I really don’t understand how people can make such big assumptions. I tend to think I’m not invited until I receive a formal invitation. Even for close friends… I understand that money and numbers are so hard to manage.

    Post # 12
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I have a friend I work with who I went to high school with- we were never that friendly. She’s been sitting with me for lunch and she’s about to move away. She bought a dress for my June wedding next year and asks daily “you won’t forget to mail me an invitation b/c I moved away, right?”. and me being the idiot I am… FINALLY sputtered out “no, of course I won’t forget”. she bought a dress, I felt bad!

    Post # 13
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Tons, because we are having a small, (almost) family only wedding. Old high school friends are mostly our problem. We only talk to them like 2 times a year and they all live in different places. So awkward telling them the news of our engagement because they start making plans like crazy. May lose some already fading friendships over it, but thats because people are sensitive when it comes to weddings.

    People should learn to assume they are not invited until they are formally invited. I try to do that with all the engaged people I know. I have one friend who was bulling me into an invite, saying she would pay for her cost and everything. When they do that, it makes it more about them than giving me support.

    Post # 14
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    yes – and that friend we lost because she didn’t understand that planning a wedding includes a budget and generally a capacity issue.  It’s too bad that some people just don’t get it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Someone said they look forward to our invite.  I did go and ahead and send her one as I thought it would be nice if she did but she didn’t even respond or show up.  Had it been more than 1 person, I would have definitely said no.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2289 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I had an old friends (now ex) wife ask me when we were getting married. I said November because how many weddings in November are there? To which she responded “this will be my 2nd”. I just sort of nodded and didn’t invite her.

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