(Closed) Has the idea of whether or not your FI/DH will ever cheat on you cross your mind

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 44
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee

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@Sasha2011:

I think it’s because sex is not only more easily available, it’s more prevalent in todays society.  It’s OKAY to have casual sex.  It’s OKAY to have sex before marriage, etc. etc. etc. 

And I think it has become more common place due to those reasons but I also think that people don’t or can’t (due to email, FB, etc.) keep it underwraps as much anymore.

Post # 46
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@Sasha2011: Honestly, I don’t think it’s more common as in there are more people cheating, I think it’s easier to find out about it now. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, email, texts, etc. make it so easy to find a “paper” trail of evidence.  And now, women have the rights and resources to divorce and make it on their own. Back in the day, people still cheated and many wives knew about their husbands mistresses (or bedwarmers) but women didn’t have the power to divorce or the resources to live on their own. My grandmother stayed with my grandpa for a long time, even though she knew he had plenty of affairs. He left and divorced her to marry one of the other women.

Post # 47
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t really worry about Fiance physically cheating on me.  For one, he’s very loyal and I trust him.  We also spend most of our time together since we work for the same company and live together.  We don’t really go out without the other, as all of our friends are coupled up and they’re all our mutual friends.  There’s just not a lot of opportunity.

I was worried at one point about him leaving the door open to emotional cheating.  He’s the kind of guy who makes friends with girls much easier than guys.  We’ve been friends for years and I’ve seen him start up a friendship with a girl and then develop a crush.  He’s also a child of divorce and doesn’t have too many relationship role models in his life.  But when I saw him developing a friendship with a girl at work we talked about it and I told him my fears – that he would slowly talk to this person (or any girl) more and more and how easy it could be when a friendship doesn’t have all the stressors of a real relationship (money, family, etc.)  I’ve also been used this way in the past by an ex who didn’t want to be with me officially because of cultural issues, but even when he was dating someone else he wanted me to be the person he could talk to all the time about anything and everything. I didn’t want to be that person to him, and I don’t want Fiance to slowly turn another girl into that either.

Fiance understood where I was coming from and I think we’re on the same page now about having friendships, but making sure that we are each other’s support system, and knowing where to draw the line. 

Post # 48
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sure, I think about it. Although I love my husband and I don’t like to think he would do that to me…he’s human and humans experience temptation. So I don’t think it’s completely out of the realm of possibility. I don’t think it’s very likely though, as we’re both pretty good at hammering out issues and at least at present good at turning down temptation. 

I don’t waste much time actually worrying about it, I can’t prevent it happening if it’s going to happen someday. Why angst about something that’s only one of many possibilities? 

Post # 49
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood

I feel like anyone who says they haven’t thought about it, even briefly, isn’t being totally honest.  NOT saying that about those who don’t think they’re SOs would cheat.  I don’t think my boyfriend would cheat.  But I have thought about it.  I’ve thought about, you know, what I would do if it happened.  I sincerely doubt it’ll ever happen, but well, I’m a “what if” type person too.  I think about these things while I’m driving or daydreaming in class or whatever.

Post # 50
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s not something I’d worry about at all. First, I’m not the jealous type, and second, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t sleep with someone else. He’s just not the type. If he did, I actually don’t think I’d be that upset – being in a relationship with him is more important to me than having a monogamous relationship, you know?

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