Post # 1
I’m new here and just wanted to share my story. SO and I have been together for 4 years and he has had the ring for at least 6 months. We had discussed getting engaged a few months ago and he led me to believe it would happen April or May. So I was super excited and began counting down the days. I thought maybe it would happen on my birthday, although I tried not to get my hopes up in case it didn’t. Well that day came and went and no ring. I feel really hurt and rejected. I wonder if maybe he changed his mind. I don’t understand what he could possibly be waiting for. What makes this even harder is that I don’t feel I have any family/friends I can turn to about this that would understand. I don’t know if it’s better to ask him what’s up or just keep waiting in case a proposal is still around the corner.
Post # 2
My Fiance had the ring for 7 months before proposing. He had a plan and wanted it to be special. Things like family visiting and weather kept getting in the way and pushing it back. The proposal was absolutely perfect though and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
He has the ring, just relax and let him do it in his own time.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2016 - Temescal Lake House
He’s had the ring for about 2 weeks and that’s already 2 weeks long for me. I’m thinking its going to be next weekend. I cant imagine much longer! Im going crazy as it is!
Post # 4
hikingbride: I agree. He might have a plan in place and is waiting for the perfect time! It’ll come when you least expect it! Good luck!!
Post # 5
My Fiance had the ring for 18 damn months before he proposed. It nearly killed me.
I think give him another few weeks but set a time line in your head and if he hasn’t proposed by (eg end of June) then maybe ask him what’s going on – only since he led you to believe it would be April or May. Mine said in January that he’d propose by the end of the year and bloody well waited till 10pm New Years Eve. I have to say it took the shine off what should have been an exciting event. He just kinda forgot. Apparently.
I hope your man surprises you with a wonderful proposal soon!
Post # 6
Ask him. I asked mine around the eight month mark.
Post # 7
writersblock: What did he say when you asked him?
Post # 8
The wait when you know they have the ring is really difficult. If he’s been clear on timelines in the past, I wouldn’t ask him about it as I think that will likely delay things. When I asked my Darling Husband what the delay had been, he said he had been trying to find a clear weekend and also one where I wasn’t expecting it.
Post # 9
justadream: Sometimes I wonder what’s worse. Knowing he has the ring or knowing when he’s going to propose without confirmation that he has the ring.
My SO has dropped hints that he’s seen a jeweller (though I don’t know for sure that he has the ring) and he’s led me to believe a proposal will occur in June. Sounds promising and I’m trying my best not to investigate or speculate more. I read so many posts about Bees knowing their SO have the ring though. Isn’t that enough to know that an impending proposal is on it’s way?
Should I post this as a separate post?!
Post # 10
This is easy.
He is waiting for his idea of the perfect moment.
Post # 11
blissfulheart: my story is probably different from most. My SO has ADHD and Asperger’s. When I brought it up it turned out he was having big problems with deciding how and when to do it (decision making issues are common with the above two conditions and it should have occurred to me in this instance with him). He’d takeN the ring on holiday to Rome, it had been blessed at the Vatican and gone up to the roof of the basilica with us lol. I confronted him because it had been eight months and a holiday plus my birthday and our two year anniversary had passed. He was incredibly upset about it (And his inability not to be able to do it). It did make me realise (and this is where it may be applicable to you), how much pressure guys put on themselves to “get it right” and how nervous they get (some to the point where they have trouble going through with it). I don’t think you should wait forever wondering when it will be though. Set yourself a point in time where you think you will have had enough and just ask him. You’re allowed a say in your future too.
Post # 12
My fiancé had the ring for eight months before proposing. Basically he was trying to find the perfect moment but didn’t take proactive steps to make one!
Essentially after seven months I asked him what the hell he was waiting for. Effectively ‘shit or get off the pot’. He told me a couple of weeks later to keep a weekend free the next month where he took me on a weekend away and proposed with a picnic by the lake.
My fiancé is not a planner though, so my prodding him probably got his ass in gear, lol.
Post # 13
- Wedding: December 2017 - Friendship Plaza
My Fi had the ring for 10 months before he proposed. I brought it up around the 3 month mark, and again at the 6 month, despite his being pretty clear about what his timeline and reasons were (which were varied and solid) — I wanted to make my desires known too! He started making plans unbeknownst to me around that 7 month mark. They took a while to coalesce because of the nature of the planning and complex shindig (plus he is NOT a social planner or herder of cats!)
Like PP’s have said, some guys put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves. They want it to be just as perfect and special and a surprise as you do. If he has the ring, he’s planning on it – and with the exception of the fellow with Asperger’s/ADD (who needs some scaffolding reminder) – imho, it’s best to let him do his thing.
Like you, I saw all these great opportunities and perfect moments everywhere and wondered why wasn’t’ he taking them!! but he had what *he* wanted to do in mind all along. Let him have that! 🙂 It’s totally worth it.
Post # 14
Have some faith and wait! I didn’t know that my man was planning to propose and was in the middle of a several months long design process to have the engagement ring made when I freaked out at him days after our 1 year anniversary (when he took me to a beautiful 5 star country estate and very romantically gave me a…diamond necklace! Not an engagement ring!) and he was sort of “forced” to give me what he called “a timeline to lean on” that he would propose WITHIN A YEAR which only made me feel absolutely more freaked out. The thing is though he just wanted it to be a surprise when he proposed, that’s why he wouldn’t tell me a narrower time frame. He proposed actually just a bit over 3 months later. And it was Spectacular, magical, lifetime memory. A whole holiday planned around the proposal.
Post # 15
Thanks so much everyone for the support! I know that he probably is just waiting to surprise me but I can’t help wondering if something else is holding him back. I’ve decided I will wait at least another month before I say anything. I’ll just keep myself busy in the meantime..