(Closed) has waiting improved your relationship?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

At the beginning it was hard. I was weepy and anxious and questioned him about it constantly and he got very frustrated easily. He basically told me to stay out of it and let him handle it. Ever since our anniversary in April though he’s been much more prone to bringing it up and he’s very genuinely happy about it. Now it has made our relationship improve because we both want the same thing and are striving for that. It’s getting close now and I love seeing him getting so excited when we discuss wedding stuff. 

Post # 33
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We don’t fight about it, but it hasn’t improved our relationship, either. It’s ridiculously stressful, even knowing that he’s going to do it. Why? Because this whole “surprise” thing pushes things back further. Sometimes it’s hard not to get resentful & just fucking angry.

Does this make me a brat? I’m sure sometimes it does.
But it’s getting OLD.

I agree with others: when we get engaged, that will improve our relationship.

Post # 34
47 posts

We had made plans to get married this year….but he hasn’t proposed and I’m worried that if he doesn’t do it soon I will resent him.  I wanted to get married this year so that we can be married for a while before we have kids and just enjoy some time together as husband and wife.  The kids are his thing…I don’t feel my biological clock is ticking just yet but its what he wants.  I’m willing to start to try for kids by the end of next year if we get married this year.  I don’t know how to get that across to him without sounding pushy.  We have been together so long that I am starting to see marriage as a formality, nothing more, but regardless of that I still want to be married before we have kids.

Post # 35
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would say waiting is causing a probelm.  It makes me feel terrible about myself, wonder why he doesn’t seem to want me as his wife, why I’m not worth the effort, why other guys seem excited about becoming husbands while my guy is just fine with the juvenile titles of BF/GF.  It makes me wonder what cosmic karma crap I ever did to feel like this, to have those bad days of total uncertainty.

I agree with some of the PPs who have said waiting causes a problem, but being engaged would remove the problem. 

Post # 36
47 posts


Totally agree.  I really question our relationshiip some days.  Or I question his part in the relationship more.

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