(Closed) Has your SO been engaged before?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

My FH was engaged before, I wasn’t. He and his previous gf were together for less than a year and a half (we’ve been together for over four years). He told me he’d been planning on asking me for almost a year.

I don’t know how far they went in planning. I’ve actually been kind of nervous to ask him about it, but I really do want to know. And everytime we’ve talked about anything involving his ex (or mine), we’ve both ended the conversation so relieved and happy we’re with each other. Thanks for asking this question. 🙂

Post # 33
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

SO proposed to his high school sweet heart of 3 and a half years after she told him that she felt he couldn’t commit.  Then she said no when he proposed and left him for her coke dealer. He wasn’t such a good 20 year old either but 7 years later (and without any drugs) I’ve got a 5 year timeline for engagement. Ok I’m down to 57 months but still.

Post # 34
53 posts
Worker bee

I recently started dating a guy (not exclusive yet..haven’t had that talk, lol) a month ago who is very upfront about having been engaged before. He is late 20’s now, and his first engagedment was back in college when he was around 21. He doesn’t seem bitter about it still per se, but seems to be conscious about not making the same mistakes. Apparently she was verbally abusive, controlling, and lacked all ambition once she got the ring on her finger (he’s mentioned multiple times that ambition in a woman is his number 1 trait…and i’m a graduate student for whom education is #1 until i finish). So he ended it. I don’t think they were together more than 2-3 years in the relationship’s entirety. I wonder how far they got in the planning stages. I also feel like I have to bring up the whole “so are you ready to get engaged again” talk relatively soon before I waste too much more time!

Post # 35
72 posts
Worker bee

My SO is divorced with a 9 year old.  He was married at age 20 to an emotionally abusive woman with a raging personality disorder.  She was very controlling and he didnt know how to stand up for himself.

he never proposed to her, she told him she wanted to get married and they started planning a wedding.  I know that’s why it’s really important to him to propose to me with a beautiful ring and “do it right”

Post # 36
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK

My SO was married when he was 24 (I’m 26 and he is 38 now)

His gf at the time was going to join the army so she made it an ultimatum for him: either only see her when she gets back or get married so they could live on the base together. 

He even admitted spending as long as possible the morning of the wedding eating his breakfast at the cafe his friends took him to, as he really didnt want to go through with it. His mum was refusing to go to the wedding right up until 15 minutes before!

As it happens, she failed her medical so didnt even get accepted into tha army. they split up a few months after and it took 18 months from the wedding for his divorce to come through. The whole relationship was only 2 years long. 

theres a big age gap between us, but it’s never come between us, and 4 and a half years down the line we sat and talked about marraige and this time he feels so differently about it 🙂

Post # 37
1460 posts
Bumble bee

SO was engaged before. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it because it was just an ugly story all around that ended badly. Makes me sad that someone would do to him what she did but also makes me irrationally upset with him that he was dumb and naive enough to le it happen. Oh well…I def have some issues around it that I’ve got to get over. 

Post # 38
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My SO has never been married or engaged and it still taking him forever and a day:-/

Post # 39
697 posts
Busy bee

@HeyKaraoke:  i’d hate to be engaged and then everything goes south. but, each of us, has never been married, engaged, nothing. which is sad, as he is 43, and i’m 35….never married…ok, sadness over lol

Post # 40
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

My boyfriend (due to current issues I don’t want to call him SO) has never been engaged before, but has proposed and was turned down. He admits he proposed to try and salvage his relationship (to a woman about 7 years older than him) but she said no, wouldn’t say why and then didn’t talk to him for about 6 months. 

I have a feeling this episode may have more of a bearing on our relationship than he likes to let on Frown

Post # 41
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ummm..yes he was engaged before …to me. We were very young I was barely 18 and he was 21. We never really told much people about it because we had problems after the engagement. After taking time apart to figure out what we both want in a realtionship and marriage and have grown so much during the time apart. We will be together a total of 8 years in December and feel that we are emotonally ready but are working on trying to be more financially ready for that next step. I think that is a reason why we aren’t engaged yet. We aren’t taking this lightly and we know what we want now.

Post # 42
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Our church and then at The Garden Room for the reception

Nope. It’s the first time either of us has gotten to the engagement stage.

Post # 43
9679 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

He hasn’t, but I have.

Post # 44
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Technically he has. I’m not really sure on the details but I *think* she pestered him to let her know that the relationship was going somewhere and kind of pushed him into agreeing to marry at some point. I *think* that was somewhere around their 2nd anniversary, she was around 24 and he 18, there was never a ring or any arrangements made but they defined themselves as engaged.


He found out that she’d been having an affair for at least 6 months the day before their 3rd anniversary. That relationship has definately left scars and affected our relationship more than I hoped and initially realised it might.

Post # 45
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


yes he was engaged before. she asked him when they were in college and he felt pressured into saying yes but eventually broke it off. i waited 6 years to get him to propose. a lot of people said why dont you just ask him. well thats why lol. i didnt want to have him relive that moment. or feel pressured. It seemed like his short lived Fiance only wanted to get married to get married. they had been together two years.

Post # 46
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My Fiance was engaged before.  He was 18.  The engagement did not last long as she was cheating on him their whole relationship.  After they split she tried getting back with him whenever her relationships didn’t work out.  I feel like this break up definitely made him afraid to get in another relationship and engagement, but after 6 years of dating we are engaged. 🙂

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