(Closed) Hate attention, how do you cope?

posted 11 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am pretty shy and basically limited my guest list. We’re having 32 guests, just close friends and family. The ceremony will be short and I honestly think I’m not going to worry about projecting my voice when I read/recite my vows. As long as Fiance can hear them that’s all that matters.

At the reception our guests will meet and chat and I think of it like a "family reunion" — people are goig to be happy to visit with each other instead of focusing on me. I think it will be a good time for everyone. I do think I’ll feel silly wearing the dress, but I’m getting used to the idea by making sure that everything is a reflection of Fiance and I and not about what people expect. 

My Future Mother-In-Law wants to throw us a party in FI’s hometown and I am very much against it, I feel like it’s saying my wedding isn’t good enough. But that’s another issue. 

Post # 4
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Timely, timely post!  I really don’t like being the center of attention and had a hard time at my shower on Sunday (and that was only 20 women!)… I’m not quite sure how I’m going to deal, but I think it involves a beta blocker!

Post # 5
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

I’m also not the most extroverted person!  I was planning on doing things like keeping the first dance short.  I also find it helpful to view the wedding as a great time for family and close friends to connect and re-connect, rather than a day "all about me".

Post # 6
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Doctorgirl – I don’t like the way beta blockers make me feel, but I do take anti-anxiety medication if there is something really important where I am the focus of attention. I take it when I have to lead work meetings (I am much younger than many of my colleagues, but I am often chosen to lead meetings), for my bridal shower, for weddings where I am the bridesmaid. It isn’t good to take everyday, but I think it works great once in a while.

Post # 7
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My Fiance and I both don’t enjoy being the center of attention…  I know I am going to feel the stress at my shower in a few weeks..

One thing we did do to make us feel better is took out the garter and flower toss… he wasn’t comfortable in taking off my garter in front of everyone.

We also are making the father/daughter and Mother/Son dance at the same time to the same song… we felt more comfortable knowing we didn’t have all the eyes just on us but on both groups dancing.  


Post # 8
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We’re having a very small reception and skipping a lot of the wedding traditions like toasts, bouquet/garter toss, etc. We’re having more a party than a traditional wedding.

Post # 9
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

My Fiance has the same problem… he keeps saying "If we could get married on a beach today, just us… i would."

Like budgetbeautiful, we’re foregoing a lot of the traditional stuff.

In order to deal with his discomfort we’ve scaled down our wedding big time. Our wedding & reception will have no more than 75 people & they are only our closest family and friends. We aren’t going to have dancing… we’re not going to have an MC or speeches either. And the garter toss? Over my dead body! lol… Together we will thank everyone in a bride & groom speech instead of awkward stories about the 2 of us. Our reception is at a cool lounge in the city & we’re going to have more of a party vibe than a formal reception.

At first I felt pressure to have a large, formal reception… but honestly this day is as much about him as it is me. I wanted to respect his feelings & make sure this day was perfect for both of us.

Make this day right for you & your Fiance… not for anyone else.  Only go ahead with plans that you are comfortable with 🙂 

Post # 10
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh I’m so glad to hear that I am not the only one struggling with this!  I have been looking forward to being engaged and planning a wedding for years now, and here it is, and I have found that I am a shrinking violet!  It really took me by surprise.. I am not really a shy person, but I don’t like being the center of attention.  I kind of clam up and feel embarassed.  I was raised to be very humble and not boastful, so I have a hard time talking about myself.. so my natural instinct is to change the subject to something other than me!  I’m kind of dissapointed.. sometimes I feel like I’m not allowing myself to soak in this incredible time in my life, so I am working on it, but it is hard! 

As far as the wedding, I am trying to put off the thought of 100+ people doting on me and wanting to talk to me!  Eeeek!

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