(Closed) hate my fsil dont want her to be in the wedding…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Uh then don’t ask her to be in your wedding. You don’t have to, you should only have the people you love and who support you and your SO’s relationship in the wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@fiver + 1

Post # 5
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Ask your Fiance if she really wants to be in the wedding. Odds are the feeling is mutual and she doesn’t want to be in the wedding, either.

Post # 6
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@doubtingdebbieah:  Just don’t ask her to be in the wedding.  I don’t get this concept that future ILs have to be IN the wedding because they are “going to be family”.  So what?  Your nearest and dearest stand with you on your wedding day.  That’s it!

Not to mention, if she’s such a sourpuss, does she even WANT to be involved? 

 

Post # 7
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

dont do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i dont hate my fsil, but she’s not in my wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

i don`t think it would be best to just not have her in the wedding. I guess it depends on the family, but it’s important for my brother to be in mine and I was in his. Althought the bridesmaids stand on your side, it’s still part of your FI’s wedding party too.

However, I guess it depends on the family dynamic and how your Fiance feels about his sister too. I’d talk to him about it.

Post # 9
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

Since Future Sister-In-Law is in your SO’s side of the family, I really think it should be his call.

I think too that — assuming you’re going to be married to this guy for the rest of your life — this is not going to be the first time you’re going to have to compromise in some way or other to keep the family peace.

I don’t think it would be worth it to exclude her, but then I’m not in your shoes and I don’t know everything she has done to make you feel so strongly.

Talk to your SO and see what he says. And if there is any possibility that this will stir up family drama, just suck it up and invite her and try not to look at her or listen to her on your big day. And do talk to the photographer about keeping her away from you.

Post # 10
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

Are you required to have her in your wedding? Did you already ask her to be in it?

Post # 11
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

And WHY does she have to be in the wedding? I have two FSILs and I am not asking either of them to be in mine!

Post # 12
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

What has she done exactly that is worth this much drama?

 I think you need to suck it up and be the better person. Asking the photographer to keep her far away from you is a bit much dont ya think?

 

Post # 13
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t have her in your wedding party! 

As for photos, however, I would suggest sucking it up. You’ll have to deal with these situations for the rest of your life! Find some way to calm your hatred. I KNOW it’s hard, but it can be done.

There’s an old Mahayana Buddhist saying: If you enjoy walking on pleasant soft surfaces, you can cover the entire Earth with soft leather. But a more efficient method is covering your feet in leather, so that no matter where you go your steps will feel soft.

It’s supposed to mean that you can either eliminate your enemies (taking them out of photos, etc.), but that won’t work because you’ll keep getting new ennemies (having your Future Sister-In-Law over at Christmas, etc.). A more effective solution is to eliminate hatred altogether.

So stay away from her to remain calm, but don’t go out of your way to avoid her.

Post # 14
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

 I never understand why people have wedding parties consisting of people they don’t even like. It is a bad idea and never ends well.

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