(Closed) hate my fsil dont want her to be in the wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

well you just said she doesn’t want to be in the wedding because of the dress. Good! There’s your out!

Post # 19
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Aww, you could have used the dress thing as an out! Don’t worry–I’m sure she’ll threaten to quit over something else, and you can let her go. Then you don’t have to worry about her in the bridal party ics!

Post # 22
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

since it’s important to your fiance and you already asked you need to be the bigger person, suck it up and make it work.

Post # 23
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Drop the wedding party. Seriously, this is the easiest, least dramatic way to deal with this problem. If you haven’t ordered the dresses yet, or if there is any way to get out of it, I’d seriously just tell them, “We decided it would be cheaper for everyone/more comfortable for everyone if we didn’t have a wedding party.” You can spin it a billion and one ways in your favor. Seriously – besides planning for bachelorette parties and the like, there’s nothing that a bridesmaid can do that another relative or friend couldn’t help you out with on the big day, minus all the dramatic “she picked the other wedding party member’s idea over mine.”

I get hating the sister-in-law. Mine’s arriving in a week and staying the week of my wedding in the area. Believe me, I’m still pinching myself and hoping it’s a nightmare, but so far, I’m not getting any conclusive evidence that it is. You do have to suck it up. Consider it a test of your acting skills and pride yourself later on them.

Post # 24
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC

Just don’t ask her.  If you have a lot of close friends that you want to be there in your bridal party, she’ll understand and not be too shocked.

Post # 25
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Future Sister-In-Law was acting funny during the whole engagement. We had a falling out back in Jan and she dropped out of the wedding.. OH HAPPY DAYS!!!

Post # 26
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree dont have her in your wedding. Alot of people told me I should have my sister in law in my wedding. I refused. Shes a self centered, stupid and rude. Also she makes no effort what so ever to have a relationship with my husband her only sibling so ya.  I had just my two sisters. 

Post # 27
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Mine and I don’t get along either, and she didn’t ask me to be in her wedding.  Instead she seated me at the head table with the other in-laws.  Worked for me!

Post # 28
899 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like my Future Sister-In-Law I’m really kinda scared of her. I spent months trying to decide whether or not to include her. Ultimately I decided to only because when my fiancé asked his parents if he had to include his sister’s fiancé they said no but you HAVE to include your sister… Because they’re paying and she’s a crazy psycho I just decided to keep the drama to a minimum and include her.

Even better- she’s getting married 6 months after us, she barely keeps in touch, she didn’t tell us she already bought her wedding dress and she just assumes I know I’m in her wedding.

 Her mom was talking to me about make up for the bridal party for their wedding and she was asking about my colors and I said… I’m in the wedding…? She told me she thought she (my FSIL) had already asked me and when I said no she said well she probably just assumes you know. OMG I’ve been so nice to them I bring over my wedding magazines and when they’re looking for vendors I try to give them tips and I went through the trouble of getting cards made from a seller on etsy for my bridesmaids… and she just assumes I know….


Long story short, things will probably never be perfect but they’re family and the least we can do is try.

Post # 29
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Just because you really dislike her now doesn’t mean you will ten years from now.  It’s possible she grows up, mellows out, and becomes someone you’re close to once again.  Will you regret not including her if one day it turns out she is one of your friends again?

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