(Closed) Hate the BM dress! Advice?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

If the dress doesn’t fit you and it doesn’t come in a larger size, then you need to communicate this with the bride because that is a problem. 

In my experience, the reason no one ever likes or rewears bridesmaids dresses is because there isn’t a dress that 3-5 women would all pick out for themselves.  You probably aren’t going to love the bridesmaids dress, so if that is the problem, just suck it up and be grateful the dress isn’t expensive.  If the dress legitimately doesn’t fit, then its a problem. 

Post # 4
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you aren’t comfortable with the fit of the dress and can’t get it in a larger size, you need to let the bride know.  In my book, that means that the dress isn’t an option (no matter how much she may love it).

You may still hate the style of another dress she chooses, but you then have to suck it up, wear it once, and never wear it again.  Sometimes that’s the life of being a bridesmaid.  But you shouldn’t have to wear a dress you are unable to purchase in the proper size.

Post # 5
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Have you tried on spanx with the dress? That might help to smooth out some of the “flab” that you don’t like when you have it on!

I agree with other posters if it doesn’t fit tell the bride and she will have to accommodate you but if you just don’t like the style of the dress or the way you look in the dress – I would suck it up and try to do things that make you happier (wear spanx etc.)

Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I may get yelled at but I’m going to have to disagree with those that say to tell the bride you can’t wear it. Can you have the dress let out to fit you more comfortably? You said its “only” 100.00 which leads me to believe you could afford some alterations, is that a possibility? Also from your post it sounds like you just don’t like the style b/c your not used to it which I don’t think is a good reason not to wear it. I’ve been in a good number of weddings and one had a gone with the wind theme (it was exactly like the scene from 26 dresses) we had hats and parasols, we looked ridiculous but the bride loved it and I know she would have been heart broken if someone had said they can’t wear it b/c it looks bad on them. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.

Post # 7
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Style aside, if it doesn’t fit you, it doesn’t fit you, and I think you should bring that up. Maybe you can have the back converted into a corset so you can wear the dress and zip it up right?

Post # 8
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I definitely agree with you Ms.Charleston Pearls that sometimes as a bridesmaid you have to suck it up and wear something that doesn’t look good on you because that is what the bride wants (my girls are wearing red as I LOVE red dresses, but the red-headed girl NEVER normally wears red – but she is for me since she cares about me and its the look I wanted).  But I think there is a difference between that and having to “struggle for a long time trying to get it zipped up” in the largest size the dress comes in.  That’s not the style (even though the OP doesn’t like that either – but style isn’t something she can complain to the bride about), that’s sizing.

Post # 9
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree, if it doesn’t fit I would tell the bride asap.  What if you gain 5 lbs between now and the wedding?  For a dress that actually fit, 5 lbs would be no big deal, but for one which is already skin tight it could be a disaster.  You said the size was 11?  Is is a juniors dress?  Since you’re all scattered about, why not ask her if she could pick out a couple styles from Davids or a similar chain, you all could go try them on and email her pictures, and she could judge which style fit her ideal and looked best on all of you.  I’m sure she doesn’t have her heart so set on this one particular dress that she would rather have you feeling like a stuffed sausage than wearing a different dress and looking great!

(Also, as a fellow size 10/12, I think it’s pretty ridiculous that the dress doesn’t come any bigger!)

Post # 10
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Oh I do agree that if you CAN’T fit into at all then you may tell the bride you can’t physically wear it, but it just seemed to me from the post that you got into it and with some minor alterations it would be more comfortable and not as tight.

Post # 12
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s ultimately up to the bride.  I’d be offended if my bm all complained about the dresses I had chose for them.  But if it doesn’t fit you in the largest size I would let her know and maybe she can find something very similar that comes in larger size.  What dress only goes up to size 11 though?  Is she shopping in the junior bridesmaid section or what?  That just seems odd to me.  

Post # 13
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

yeah i agree with the other girls that if it doesnt fit it doesnt fit. let her know that shes gotta pick somethign else or come up with an alternative. if it DOES fit then suck it up 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Good luck! Hopefully she won’t go crazy on you and tell you to lose weight so it will fit! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

If it doesn’t fit, you need to say something.  And I agree with PPs, why is she shopping in the juniors section???

Post # 16
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

If it doesn’t fit, she should pick another one! If you don’t like the style, then yeah, suck it up.

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