- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2014
I hate to even write this. I have been debating posting this for weeks.
I am separating from my husband.
Ever since we got married, he has been borderline controlling. I have a best friend (who is a guy) who emailed me back and forth while he was deployed. He sent me an email or two one night after he got drunk, stating how in love with me he was and the things he wanted to do (pretty provocative). I ignored them and when he called the next day to apologize, we dropped it. Well, my dear husband was searching through my emails one day, found them and flipped out. I explained, apologized and we both decided to move forward from it. That was in April.
Fast forward to the last few months. If I leave the house, he wants to know who I’m with, where I’m going and when I will be home. Even if I go with my mom or a family member, he needs to know these details. It never stops! My phone and emails are constantly checked and he claims that they just “pop up” he never actively searches for them.
We finally got into a few days ago and he admitted that he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for me and he’s worried that with me working out and losing weight, I am going to find someone better than him. I get that he has self esteem issues and insecurities. We have been in marriage counseling for a month but he refuses to go to individual therapy to help himself.
I realize that the right thing to do is to stay with him. But there is only so much someone can take. He is very selfish, manipulative and hurtful. If I tell him I want to separate so that he can work on himself, he comes back with “okay, shay if you don’t love me or give a shit, then go ahead and leave me”. its about more than love. its about trusting someone and letting that person be a valued part of your life! I seriously am at a loss on what more to do to help.
If anyone has any ideas, let me know.