(Closed) Hated how I looked on my wedding day. Might need therapy now!

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m the same height as you and I would love to loose a LOT of weight by my wedding and be 130… but at the same time my Fiance loves me exactly as I am. i don’t like going clothes shopping so I’m very nervous about dress shopping… but I know Fiance will think I look beautiful no matter what… so I’m trying to just accept myself for who I am like he does.

 

I’m sure you were beautiful, and your husband loves you! Try and focus on that 🙂 Nobody is perfect!

Post # 4
Member
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m 5’3″ and just a smidge less than you (120ish) and being in a similar boat, just know that you are healthy. I know how difficult it is with body image, we shorties carry our weight differently than taller people and sometimes it seems a bit more extreme. I’ve battled with my stomach pudge for as long as I can remember and it really depresses me.

But I am a healthy weight, and generally, I am a healthy woman. That is more important to me.

Maybe you should remind yourself of that? At least you’re a healthy weight woman?

Healthy doesn’t mean fat, by the way. 😉

Post # 5
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

There is really no point to beating yourself up over something you can not change. I guarentee you looked stunning on your wedding day and your husband thought so too. The important part is that you married your best friend, that your family was there to support you and that you both had the time of your life. 10lbs wouldn’t change any of that. Do I wish I was 10 pounds lighter on my big day, absolutely, I was trying but didn’t get there, though I yanked my dress as tight as I could lol. I still feel like I was as beautiful as I could be on my big day, and I refuse to beat myself up over such small details, I had the time of my life and that is all that matters. The small details dont matter, seriously, they dont. 

 

Post # 6
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe get some bridal portraits done to make yourself feel better?

Post # 7
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I am 5’1 and 145 lbs and I think I look okay. I don’t think 10 lbs should define your happiness. My happiness is not a number on a scale, I don’t even own a scale! so if I look in the mirror and I like what I see, that’s great! If I don’t, then I work towards changing it.

And that is the point, you are working towards changing it! Good for you!

Post # 8
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

Maybe plan on taking awesome one year anniversary photos?

Post # 9
Member
3155 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with a PP, you can’t change it now and you may just have to come to terms with the fact that you didn’t reach your goal by the wedding and forgive yourself, you’re human and at least you did reach your goal! Plus, you’re heathly! I wouldn’t get too wrapped up in the numbers…just keep winning the small battles of healthy choices outweighing unhealthy choices and don’t beat yourself up when you have a slip up. It doesn’t do you any good. But if you think you need to talk to someone about how you perceive and treat yourself, I think that would be good too. It is something that I think many of us would benefit from. 

Post # 10
Member
2855 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@calilove1:  you probably looked fine but can pick out your favorite photos and ask the photographer how much it would cost to slim you down about 10 pounds? It is fairly easy  to do

Post # 11
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

There isn’t a thing you can do about the past  – I agree w PP who said have more pics done now! Have a boudoir session and  surprise your husband! Or plan on an anniversary photo shoot -by all means get some quality gorgeous pics just the way you want them. Plus, not to be depressing (lol) but in 20 years you’ll look at your wedding pics and realize how stunning you were!

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@calilove1:  I’m an inch taller and not very close to 130 (the wrong side of 130)… I am sure you looked fine.

Post # 13
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@calilove1:  How do I get over this anger towards myself.

I’m going to really encourage you to talk to someone professionally about this.  When your weight becomes the focus of your obsession and is what you base your happiness on, that is a problem.  I know, because I have the same problem and have sought therapy for it.  A therapist can help you to not focus soley on the pounds.  

Post # 14
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You sound just like me. Were close to the same height & weight too, but I’m a little shorter. My Dad always drilled into my head the idea of my weight as something that defined my value as a person. And even at 35 years old, I have not been able to let that go. I’m struggling getting ready for my wedding now & all I can think about is feeling fat in my pictures. I know no one else cares & I know I’m healthy. I have a lot of good days & a few bad & the bad ones really suck!!

I have been thinking of going to counseling for it myself. I battled anorexia when I was younger & while I do eat now, I still beat myself up when I look in the mirror like I used to when I didn’t eat. It’s something I really want to get over. I’m generally happy with my life & that’s the one thing that can really bring me down, and I don’t think I’m being fair to myself. Especially since I exercise a lot & watch what I eat & I take really good care of myself. It’s important to remember that being healthy is what’s most important. But it’s not always so easy to do :-/.

Post # 15
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@calilove1:  I definitely recommend counseling.  I am so sorry you feel this way.  Your happiness shouldn’t depend on what number is shown on the scale, or by how you look. 

Post # 16
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I definitely think you should speak to a professional. I think that having someone to talk to about this would help monumentally,

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