(Closed) Hating being LDR right now

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry 🙁

It truly and genuinely sucks to be where you’re at right now. I know. I remember. 🙁

Have you talked to your bf (not emotionally, or getting upset, but actually discussing in a rational way) about what you’re feeling? About your hopes for getting married, about your frustrations with the distance, about your emotional needs from him?

I know it’s tough, but one of the things that helped us the most was having an end point to look forward to. It helped keep all the hard parts in perspective – like “okay, this is six months of hell, but we get to spend the next sixty years together, so I guess it’ll be okay in the long run”, hahaha…

It also really helped that we each had a strong network of people where we were. I had girlfriends who were my assumed Friday night plans (we had bad movie fridays, made dinner for whoever from our group of friends/coworkers was around, then watched terrible movies, and then three of us slumber partied every single weekend. A little ridiculous in our mid 20s but it got us through a lot knowing that we had ridiculous, awesome girl time coming up! And they’re still some of my closest friends, even though they’re still there and I’m here now – we have weekly skype dates with the three of us!); anyway, I always knew I could go to them if I needed a hug, or to vent, or just to gush about how great J was/is; they were the people who I sent all the random texts to that I couldn’t send to J (international phone plans are ridiculous), etc. They were my support network.

If you don’t have a support network, you need to build one, or you’ll never survive!

I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but there ARE benefits to distance too. If you’re intentional about it, you can build an amazing foundation for your relationship, with great communication skills. And you can take this time to build into yourself – just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be a strong, independent woman who is capable of joy simply for the sake of joy. Hobbies, interests, classes to learn something you love, pampering yourself – invest in yourself during this time!

It’s tough. There’s no denying that. But I believe you can get through it! There’s a lot of wisdom on the LDR board – go through some of the old posts, I think you’ll be encouraged.

Post # 4
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

*hugs*

I feel for you – I am waiting and in a LDR right now as well.  I’ve only been doing it a couple of months, so I can imagine how hard this must be for you.  Add in the stress of school on top of it, and it certainly can seem like you’ve got more on your plate than you can handle.

How much longer do you have before you can be together full-time?  Do you get to see each other over Thanksgving and Christmas?  Hopefully you do, and that will help some.

@ddw: I think that’s womderful advice.  🙂

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