(Closed) Have a secret wedding

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I dont mean to sound corny but: twue wuv conquers all! 

 Is it possible to elope in India? Lets pretend I am an idiot. When you say a different state, how far from your current home are you talking about? 

In America, once you are 18 you can do what you want.

I hope you guys have the means to support yourselves away from your families and it works out for you.  

Running away together. ..so romantic…

 

It doesn’t seem like I have advice but I do have support for you guys

 

Post # 5
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  Agreed!

If you want validation and support, you have it from me. Follow your heart! ๐Ÿ˜€

I don’t know what the laws are but if you can get married without telling anyone, totally do it. 

Post # 6
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds as though you two really love each other, but your parents genuinely don’t approve of the idea of you marrying. If you do have a secret marriage, are you prepared for the worst case scenario? Your parents may cut you off financially, refuse to have anything to do with her (or your future children), disown you completely, or totally cut off all contact with you. Her parents may do the same to her. Are you both prepared for something like that?

Remember, you’re both still very young, and striking out on your own at this age, without any support from family (and possibly even your friends), would be very difficult. Don’t fall for any of that “As long as we have each other” nonsense, because that really doesn’t work.

On the other hand, you could get married and your parents will all be thrilled! But I firmly believe you should plan and prepare for the worst case scenario here and ask yourselves if you can really live with yourselves and each other if the worst should happen.

I’m usually not one of the “true love conquers all” sort of people, and I also believe that there is no single person out there in the world just for me (or you) – it’s just statistically impossible. If this isn’t going to work out, there will be someone else out there – there are a lot of people in the world, and you will find one.

 

Edit: Also, when you say your family will never know about your marriage – do you mean they won’t know about the marriage until after it happens, or they will never know about it at all? Because how will that work – will you and your girlfriend disappear and never see them again, or will you both come home and carry on with your lives as if you weren’t married? Because those options don’t seem that great to me….

Post # 7
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t understand what you’re going for. Do you mean you are going to run away, get married, and then stay away living your lives together and never contacting your families? Or do you mean you want to go away, get married, and then come back and… what… live your lives without telling anyone you’re married and hoping no one looks up the records where you got married and notices or finds out otherwise? If the first is the case, do it! If the second is the case, please rethink your strategy.

If you mean your parents will literally hunt you down and LITERALLY kill you if they find out you two married, even if you are across the country, I would try to either get visas to a different country (much farther away!), legally change your names entirely (if you can do that), or not get married.

Post # 9
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@PrinceGift:  it means we are providing moral support for your desire to commit to your beloved

Post # 13
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@PrinceGift:  It just means I think you both are adults, you can make choices even if your family disagrees. I think you should do whatever will make you the happiest! ๐Ÿ™‚ If eloping will make you the happiest, you should do that, and I agree with your idea. 

Post # 14
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@PrinceGift:  I am not sure if it can be secret, but I am also not sure if marriage information is public information – like something you can search for online if you happened to fill out legal paperwork to file the marriage like we do in North America.  I know I cannot look up my marriage on any official website.  It’s the opposite for divorces though; you can look those up on certain websites.

But if you were to disappear forever, wouldn’t your family file a missing persons report on you two?  As in send police to locate you thinking you were kidnapped?

 

FYI (for your information) we are mostly women who post on these forums, Sir is for addressing a man. ๐Ÿ™‚

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