(Closed) Have a Wedding or Buy a House- What to do?

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 17
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My FH and I bought a house in December. We are getting married next summer. We knew we wanted both, and thought we would be ok to get both. So far so go. We scaled back a little on both as well. The house is a perfect starter and we are having a smaller wedding. But it will be so nice to not have to move after the wedding…..and it is super great to paint you house instead of asking your land lord 😉 A real sense of acomplishment came over me when we got the key and went over to check it out one more time before we moved our stuff in. We did a victory lap around the empty livingroom and danced our happy dance until we were out of breath.


[attachment=196605,16972] [attachment=196605,16973]

Post # 18
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I am very fortunate that my parents are very generously paying for our wedding.  They also said that if we wanted to take the money and run (for a downpayment on a house), we could do so.  Fiance jumped at this opportunity, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I really wanted to have a traditional-type wedding and throw a party for all of our family and friends who have been there for us over the years.

We are buying a house in the next few months in any event, but putting less down than we would have if we took the wedding money.

Post # 19
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Keep in mind the first time home buyers credit. It might help to buy the house first then use that money you get back to help pay for the wedding. You can ask any tax professional about the ins and outs of the credit. It is a pretty good deal all in all. We took it and used it to buy appliances and fix up the bathroom. We have a little left over to go towwards the wedding.

Good Luck

Post # 21
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think you’ve made a great decision, including the Court House… SF has the most beautiful City Hall in my opinion!  Happy house hunting! (Does this mean you are moving up your wedding date, or is it going to stay the same?)

Post # 22
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Josalyn, that was a tough decision you had to make, and I feel like you made a big sacrifice for your Fiance and the health of your financial future. Personally, I got the same offer from my father and could not give up the wedding. The money wasn’t enough for a whole downpayment anyway. I also have a friend who took the money and ran, and she is already regretting it. She is planning a ten-year vowel renewal thingy.

I’m very fortunate though, I must say. My Fiance is a military veteran, and as such he can get a house loan with no downpayment. So that’s what we’re planning to do 🙂 We also picked an area that was really cheap so we could afford something nice!

Post # 23
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If i had the choice (and the money) I’d definately jump at the chance for the house. Granted you only plan on having one wedding, and you want it to be special, but you can always do something lower key to officiate the day and maybe two or three years down the road do something big. My brother and sister in law eloped, which really upset my family, but they used the the equity in their home later on to do a really nice wedding.

Post # 24
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009


You took the words right out of my mouth- San Francisco City Hall is absolutely gorgeous.  You can get married at the rotunda which is gorgeous.  Two friends of mine were in a similar situation to yours about five years ago.  They decided to bring their family and friends to city hall for their wedding. It was very sweet, just as meaningful, and I would think far less stressful.  They held their reception at the clubhouse of their apartment complex, down in South Beach.  The money that they saved was put towards a house in their hometown of Chicago.

 You can STILL use your Save the Dates/Invitations for your house wedding.   I LOVE the pictures from this real backyard wedding courtesy of Style Me Pretty.



Best of luck!


Post # 25
1044 posts
Bumble bee

I am going to have a small wedding for intimate friends and family so that we can use most of the money towards our new house.  As much as I want to have a fairytale wedding, it will only be 5 hours long and out of all the people I’ve talked to it’s just not worth spending all that money.

There are many things you can do to cut costs.  Have a large party for co-workers and friends if you feel it will cost too much to have them all there and just invite a close few to your wedding.  Good luck

Post # 26
2680 posts
Sugar bee

My parents said at one point that we could take the money they would give us for the wedding and use it toward a house.  I thought about it briefly and I know my Fiance would be happy to have taken them up on the offer.  I know that being married is all that is important, not the huge reception and everything but I didnt want to give up a huge wedding.  I know down the line we will be able to get our own house, probably not for a few years but I knew if I didnt have the wedding I would regret it later.

Post # 27
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

we are doing both, I am planning a wedding with a budget of 15,000 which ballooned into  18,000, but because me and my fiance are so frugal, we can still afford to have it at the elegant Waldorf in NYC (I’m having only 50 people and I asked for personal favors, have tons of DIY and haggled like crazy) a honey moon and enough down payment for  a house for us and my sister ( I promised my mom I would help her)


We can buy a house and pay in full because he’s British and a starter home there costs only 57,000 pounds , with my savings and his savings we can pay for it right off the bat if we want to but I may keep a chunk for savings for an emergency, I’m so excited because I’ve been renting so long, it’ll be so exciting to not only buy something but actually pay for it; makes you think when you spend too much money that’s why I have always been mindful of what I spend because I knew I didn’t want to blow my life savings on one day

Post # 28
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Mr. Mary Jane and I talked a lot about what we wanted to do, and we decided a house was a much better investment in our future than a wedding, which is frivilous to us and not a priority. (I’m not knocking anyone who had or is having one – I’m just sayin!). 

Post # 29
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2020 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum

We already own our house, but I would totally have traded house for wedding! 

Post # 30
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2020

Good for you! I think you’ll be so happy in the long run! Have fun in SF!

Post # 31
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That is really exciting, I think a house is a more sensible decision. In fact its the motivation for wanting a small wedding and a minimoon at most for me.

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