Post # 32
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
Honestly, I don’t any of us have nearly enough info to give you good advice. And some of it is personal. How long are you planing to live in the area? How long would you live in that house? Are you buying in an outer suburb, or in the city? Condo or stand alone? Is your credit good? Do you plan on having a family soon?
These are all FAR more important than wedding v. house. Buying a house is NOT always a good financial decision. It is first and foremost a place to live, far second an investment. THere are literally hundreds of thousands of foreclosed houses in the US that were "investments".
Now, I faced a similar decision (mine was big wedding or house; we can afford a nice, intimate wedding on our own) and chose house. Hence, I am not down on ownership. I’ just a little shocked that everyone seems to be giving you super positive advice, and not discussing that this is a risky time to buy a house, especially if you are trying to time the market in order to flip relatively quickly.
If you can get a good loan (not easy right now), AND you plan to live there for 5 or more years, AND you are buying a house that has good underlying value, then you should buy. Otherwise, the risk is too great. No one has any idea when we will see price growth again in the housing market. Furthermore, from buying patterns, it appears in many areas that those outer suburbs may have taken a long-term hit in value. Too much volatility, unless you are in a good situation.
Post # 33
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
I just want to jump in with this – my parents footed the bill for my first wedding, and AFTER the ceremony my mom said, "You know, we would have just given you all this money for a house."
Thanks, Mom! 
I was really grateful that my parents took care of all of that expense, but sheesh – I would have jumped on that offer in a heartbeat. Some people can’t stomach the idea of giving up their wedding, though.
Could you just meet in the middle? Simple ceremony + house?
Post # 34
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
Congratulations on the house. Happy Shopping. My Fiance and I looked at 5 houses before we decided the one we wanted. It was the first one we looked at. I absolutely loved it from the beginning. Kinda like my future husband. I knew it was the one for me.
Post # 35
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
We are having a small intimate wedding because we are currently building our house and rather put the money to good use. In my opionon I never was big on weddings and feel people over spend these days on weddings for what..a day of partying? Try putting that money into savings for your future, I just dont get it. But anyways, what I found when I read your post is that you are not set on where you live enough to buy a house. While the house is a better investment in the long run, not only financially but for your future, think do you want to have kids soon or do you want to travel, go to expensive dinners, blah blah like I have read. When buying a home, you need to be in love with where you are at, because its not always gauranteed you can turn right around and sell it. Look at the market now, its a buyers market but it sure is not a sellers market! You and your FH need to really talk this one out, its a great opportunity for you to put the money towards the house, the more money down, the less of a loan you have to take out or save it and puts toward the furnishings of the house. Honestly my Fiance and I are having more fun building the house and picking things out, going to our land etc then we would planning the wedding. But you dont sound sure so you really need to talk and think this out. I agree with you could have a wedding down the road, but save it for a big anniversary like your 10th.
Post # 36
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
My Fiance & I bought our home three years ago this week. It meant that we had to wait a while (ok, four years!) before we could have the wedding we wanted, but it was definitely the right decision for us. We love our house & it has made our lives so much better.
Post # 37
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
My Fiance already owns a great little house, so luckily we did not have to make that decision! But if it came down to it, I probably would have chosen the house, especially if family were gifting us the money for a down payment.
Post # 38
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
My Fiance and I are doing both, we have a dreamh ome in mind and a dream wedding. We didnt want to cut either, so we are scaling back on both. We are going to get a small starter home, hopefully this summer, then we scaled back ALOT on our wedding in 1 1/2 years. WE chose the long engagement to give us more time to save.
I think a home lasts a lot longer than the wedding day, but it really does come down to what you want. I cant give up my dream wedding of sharing our day with family and friends, but I was willing to scale back on a lot of other things, like photographer, cake, no honeymoon, etc. When it comes to the house, we are starting super small and hopefully in a few years we can upgrade.
Post # 39
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
kudos for making such a difficult decision. Our options were easy (between house and wedding) because my parents were only paying for the wedding, not a house and because my fiance is in seminary and we will be relocating (to who knows where) in three years and didn’t want to invest in something that short-term.
Your courthouse wedding in San Fran still sounds terribly romantic!
Post # 40
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Yay it sounds lovely! You can still have a mini wedding and wear a pretty dress, get your pics, etc
Now you’ll have a lovely place to raise your son and husband….everyone knows we raise them right, too! LoL
Post # 41
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
Thank you all for your advice and support. monitajb- yes, we have considered everything and more. Our credit is great, and we are pre-approved for a substantial mortgage, since we live in Miami we aren’t really worried about not being able to sell it if the market doesn’t get better because we can always rent it out. My husband is set on living here because of his job and so we will be here for a while. Don’t worry we did our homework, and are still doing our homework because I have no clue about most of this stuff. I feel like after I finish all this I could change my focus to real estate law, lol. Luckily we have friends and family who have gone through the process and help us out.
ejs4y8- yes, we do raise them too! (Or at least it seems that way)
doctorgirl- Not sure about the date. Because of my school schedule it will either be during winter or Spring break- I’ll post the pictures here of course. We also continue to do our 2 engagement sessions, 1 at an amusement park with me, the Fiance, and son, the other with just the Fiance and I at a museum.
Post # 42
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
One thing to keep in mind for anyway thinking about this:
There are limits to how much someone like your parents can give towards a down payment. There are even forms to fill out to that effect. Banks want to see that you have a stake in the house. Since it is harder to get a mortgage now, that may become a bigger sticking point. There may be ways around it but it is something to keep in mind.
It also depends on where you live. For example, a NYC 1 bedroom co-op for 500,000 needs a 100,000 down payment. A house in Wisconsin would be different, I assume.
Also, make sure you have money saved after you buy the house. You’re gonna need it!
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